Since April of 2019 my life has been flipped upside down. I found out my Father was diagnosed with stage four cancer. I turned 33 and stepped fully into my Saturn return. I felt my life shift into a new beginning and I vowed to myself to live through my truth in my fathers eyes while I still had him around to see me. With limited work opportunities I find myself with dollars missed and in the middle of all this I had began my journey with hormone reassignment therapy. Along with meditation, a shift in perspective and actual therapy, I began my attempts at living fully and truthfully. In August of this year on a lunch break I received a call from my sister saying my father had passed and I needed to get home soon. With no money and only the support of a select few I felt comfortable expressing my challenges to, I made it home and back. With no real money to spend in my pocket or bank account I traveled buried my father bought what I need to and from and made it back to work. I am just seeking some resolve to what has been all uphill since my fathers passing. I’ve not allowed myself any real time to grieve because I have to stay focused on working. I need the money more than ever. Now the holidays are coming up and I wish I could provide my mother with so much more that’s within my reach and it won’t be within my reach for some time. Debts are piling up and the new year will only bring more expenses. I’d like to continue in my transition journey but can not afford to do more than I am now, my debts are not yet caught up and the time line of work and paychecks coming does not seem promising. A friend just paid for my prescriptions because I had no money to refill them. Asking for help from a friend or family member is no easier than asking A stranger to me, mostly because I feel most are unaware of the tragedies I mull through. Possibly my fault for keeping it in, but this is something I am currently working on. I’ve been keeping my energy up and holding smile in places I have no desire to just for the sake of others around me...and it’s exhausting. I am asking any and everyone who will listen for help and assistance of any kind. From money to short gigs I can fit in a day, I’ll take it all. Changes need to be made or else I will drown in this dark energy, it feels so overwhelming and consuming. I appreciate all considerations. I also welcome strategies for getting out of this, cost effective places for electrolysis... or body waxing, though my first experience was pretty hard on skin. Also on how to emerge into this conversation with my mother, in this time it seems hurtful and hard to “come out” again. She’s is now living in a house alone and in a state without her children or grand children. I want to be and do so much better.