Hi! My name is Negar. I am a transwoman born in Iran. I discovered I am transgender at the age of five, since I had distinct characteristics and sexual expressions from other boys in my neighbourhood. I had a bigger chest and appeared feminine at an early age. This made me an easy target for sexual abuse from an early age by my neighbours and my peers in school.

I had my first experience of rape at the age of twelve when my parents asked our neighbours to look after me. They had an event to attend. From then, my long battle with sexual abuse kicked off and continued to curse my life until I resettled in Australia.

In school, students unwantedly touched me in my private parts, and I was completely ostracised by my classmates, who didn’t speak to me and bullied me verbally and sexually for my identity. I preferred to be alone because everyone bullied me.

The school staff, including my own teachers, didn’t hold a welcoming attitude towards me and constantly complained to my parents about my unfitting social behaviour based on gender norms. My family, on the other hand, always scolded me for being different and advised me to act masculine.

The pressure got so much that I attempted suicide 13 times between the ages of 14 and 19 years, but it was unsuccessful. That’s when I developed bipolar disorder. This left me with an irreparable trauma that I still cope with. I was beaten, harassed, threatened, raped, and had the most challenging period of my life. As the persecution and public intolerance kept increasing, I decided to move to Turkey and seek asylum through UNHCR offices.

Again, this was a challenge with no family support, but UNHCR provided a small honorarium. I had hoped to be resettled in Australia within a short period; however, the emergence of COVID-19 delayed the process by another two years. This meant I had to go through a million traumas and wounds again with many people until I moved to Australia.

These experiences eventually caused a lot of mental and physical struggles for me. The trauma hit me so profoundly that I lost all my hopes towards a better life and developed severe depression and lethargy. I am also getting a diagnosis for Bipolar disorder, PTSD, and Borderline Personality disorder, which has made me unable to work or study at this time.

I also suffer from body dysphoria as I haven’t been able to complete my gender-affirming surgery. This is a constant factor of stress for me, and I suffer greatly in my personal life, my self-esteem, and my dating life because of this. To get my surgery, I need to admit myself to a hospital for two weeks at least.

I am currently unemployed because of a mental condition, and I am living on disability pension. Any donation, big or small, would make massive progress in my pursuit of becoming my whole self.

I am struggling to accept myself, and I would be incredibly grateful for support from the community to help me overcome this challenge and become the person I have always aspired to be. Thank you in advance for your contribution. I am deeply grateful for your presence and kindness.