Needs Double Transplant & Laidoff
Donation protected
In 1986, just prior to our wedding, my husband Paul, 19 at the time, became ill with a fairly serious Strepp infection. We joked about his feining illness to get out of getting married. We didn't really think much of it, other than the usual antibiotics, fluids and rest with the expectatuon of a timely recovery.
Shortly after, when his health did not seem to be returning, normally healthy appetite gone, clothes hanging a bit more than usual, we again figured this was just a more persistant and bothersome Strepp strain and he would just have to ride it out. Another course of antibiotics. Walk it off, so to speak.
On a visit to a friend's for a gettogether, our friend's mother, who hadn't seen Paul in a long while took one look at him and stated he looked terrible and should go to a doctor as soon as possible, as she didn't think this was mere Strepp.
As Paul and I were together everyday, his weight loss and gaunt face had appeared gradually to both of us, but to someone outside our normal everyday existance, the change was drastic and disturbing enough to be frank and insistant he seek medical opinion.
Appointments were made, tests were run and after a couple weeks we got our answer. Despite absolutely no family history of such, Paul was diagnosed with Type1 insulin dependant Diabetes. As a young couple, expecting our first child and with meagre income this was not only an upsetting verdict, but one which came with no help with the cost of medication or medical supplies for a disease which is not optional to treat.
As the years progressed, the expense left no room for frivolous things like vacations, or new cars, or silly notions like sending our kids to camp, going to Florida, saving to buy a house. We got by, renting and scrimping, and working hard for everything we had. Paul sometimes two jobs at a time, a day job driving restaurant supply and at night as a security guard. I drove a wheelchair school bus so we could avoid the cost of child care. We never took welfare. We sometimes had to visit the food bank. We could not earn enough for our needs and ended up pay to pay, in credit card debt and with nothing set aside for a rainy day, but we persevered and made a life for ourselves and our children.
In 1993 I was rear ended is stopped traffic on the Don Valley Parkway while on the job driving wheelchair transit. A woman paying no attention buried her car into my vehicle they estimated, doing 70kph. Five months pregnant and a broken pelvis, separated pubis and fractured hip, damage to me from my seatbelt. I also went prematurely into labour, but luckily hospital staff worked quickly and managed to stop the labour action and prescribed bed rest for healing and trying to reach term. Thankfully baby was uninjured. I even managed to deliver without C-section as I'd been told would be necessary. I worked hard on walking and as a family we worked hard on getting back on our feet
This took place during a time when no-fault insurance had just come into existance. There could be no law-suit. I lost two years of physical mobility, lost $48,000 in wages and was awarded just over $11,000 by WSIB for my injuries. During the lengthy investigations and panels, we still had our regular expenses. Our credit cards took the brunt with gas, groceries, diapers and formula. We ended up having to claim bankruptcy while awaiting my WSIB settlement.
When the money finally materialized we did the smartest thing we knew, putting it all as a small downpayment on a modest home in Innisfil, Ontario. A nice little town, a bit of a commute to the GTA, but a wonderful place to raise our children. Again we both worked hard for family
Then, in 1998, the unthinkable happened, our middle child ~ aged 8, showed the same symptoms that Paul had. I recognized what I thought, and after testing, turned out to be Type 1 Diabetes and it was more severe than his father's. He wasn't doing well on syrynges so we moved on to more expensive penfils and cartridges, and nothing really improved.
Our son was smaller than kids his age and suffered from extremely high blood sugars and severe headaches. Felt unwell most of the time. There were some harrowing trips to hospital and even one where he had to be medivacked to Sick Kids Hospital, where we were counselled to prepare for the worst. It was terrifying; Family came to sit vigil with us. But our son fought, and I slept in his room for a week, my husband visited daily; good friends watched our other two children. And at the end of the hardest week of our lives ~ afterall, he came home.
We were told he needed Insulin Pump Therapy. Pumps were not covered by the government and cost $7000. Paul had been told he needed a pump too, but a child comes first. A lady from the pump company came by and offered us a second pump for Paul if we were willing to accept one model back from the latest. $7000 for two pumps ! We were thrilled to accept. Father and son would learn and adapt together.
We had some fantastic help from a community fundraiser, supported by terrific friends, a local Innisfil restaurant and even a motorcycle club who came by with a cheque for money they had raised to help our son get an insulin pump. They even took him on an honourary ride. He wore one of their vests on the back of a big custom trike. He beamed from ear to ear. One of our very best days.
We had managed to get him his pump, but now the most costly method of insulin therapy had begun. Patches cost $20 each and last 3 days, cartridges $10 each/for 3 days use, canuala tubes $10 each/for 3 days, and insulin $30 a bottle lasting for about 10 days... All X 2. With no choice, we pay. We see methedone and syrynge supplies given out by our government, at no cost to those who "need". We pay. We see flu shots by thousands given by government, at no cost to anyone who "needs". And still for life saving insulin dependant survival, we pay.
By this point our monthly medical bills matched our mortgage, with no health benefits and little to no government health support; but on we went, paycheque to paycheque, year after year. I found a way to be there for the kids and our son's medical needs through self-employment.
We refinance and remortgage, we do without many things others take for granted and we come very close to losing everything quite a few times over the 23 years we've lived in our one and only family home. But we've managed to keep it going. We owe more now on our home than when we purchased, but we've raised a family here, married going on 30 years, with 3 kids, 2 beautiful little grandchildren and our dogs. Really, we don't need any more than this, a nice life together.
As Diabetes goes on in a person's life, so come the side effects; the additional illness and disease. About five years ago, my husband lost his sight for a time, due to Diabetic Retinopathy in both eyes (bleeding vessels in the back of the eyes brought on by the stress of fluctuating blood sugars). Thus requiring many visits to St. Michaels hospital in Toronto for ongoing surgeries and proceedures to restore his sight and as a result he has lost time off work and even at times the job itself. The Ministry of Transportation put his driver's licence to medical suspension just to top it off, even though his sight has been surgically rectified. All of this really hurts credit scores and affects prosperity. On Paul goes, finding new work when needed and always works hard, never complaining. He amazes me.
Through all these rough times we mange to hold on. Our credit is only fair, and the last time we almost lost our home we ended up having to take up an interest only mortgage with a private lender. Imagine a $1500 a month payment for two years, knowing you are not touching the principal amount, but you still have a home and things have to get better. Perfect payment for two years should mean something.
This January Paul was laid off from his cabinetmaker position. Job search was on again. About two months later he found a position at another cabinet operation... one with health benefits. We're over the moon for what seems in life, only a minute.
And now the kicker.
Paul, working there eight months and all the while feeling increasingly ill, started more medical tests to find the matter and discovers he is going through the stages of kidney failure, due to Diabetes, and with his health rapidly declining has to begin Dialysis, likely in the new year.
We choose at home, peritineal Dialysis, which means he can get his treatment while he sleeps and will be able to continue working. Meanwhile, myself having been part of a mass layoff and company closure, and knowing Paul in the next year or two, will be having a double transplant ~ kidney/pancreas and will need time to recover and heal from such a major surgery, I will have to take on the role of main breadwinner to compensate. We have a year or two to make it all work...
I research and come to the conclusion that a condensed 2 year Paralegal college course in 1 year will culminate in a law licence with the Law Society of Upper Canada, providing a decent career salary and allow us to get Paul well again. I qualify for Second Career as the mass layoff was done illegally by my former employer, but I'm told I won't be able to start until September of 2016. We, however, don't have the luxury of waiting the extra 6 months, so I am now forced forfeit the full funding from Second Career, to take on OSAP debt to pay my books and tuition and jump into the class which began in April, 2016. Upsetting, yes, but all of this we take in stride.
Paul's numbers begin to plummet more rapidly, reaching only 10% kidney function and the RVH Kidney Clinic team opt to move his Dialysis port insertion surgery to late October, 2016; way ahead of our plan. Paul informs his employer, requesting a week off for surgery and healing, giving over two weeks notice. Tells them he'll book vacation days in another month to do Dialysis training after full healing has occured. Fine, they tell him.
Surgery takes place on Tuesday, Paul recovers for the remainder of the week and returns to work the following Monday as expected. He works all 44 hours for the week, gets his paystub on the Friday and with it a dismissal letter stating he is laid off and to call back in the Spring.
Did I mention we were in the last steps of finalizing a mortgage renewal for February 2017 ? Paul's income qualified even without income from me (as a student). The renewal requires a letter of employment exactly when we now both find ourselves with no employment.
We owe $175,000 on a home worth twice the amount and ample equity grown since 1994 but we can't qualify for a mortgage with no letter of employmet. I've agonized over what to do. People tell me to 'let it go - it's just a house - you can rent'. But no one will rent to people with no employment to show, and who will hire someone who has to tell them he'll soon need time off for kidney procedures ?
Our mortgage comes due on February 6, 2017. We will have nowhere to go, after building a home and a life here, and will find ourselves homeless, a man on Dialysis who's done nothing but work all his life to give us our little place in the world. And so we ask for your help, to send us grace in whatever little you could contribute to keep us in our home, where my husband can carry on with his life-saving therapy and await the call for the organs which he so desperately needs.
Where we can celebrate our 50th birthdays and 30th wedding anniversary together with our family in February and March.
I make solomn promise to use my Paralegal law licence, when I write in August of 2017, to pay forward the kindness we ask of you now, by donating pro-bono legal services to those who find themselves in the kind of strife we have experienced, and come to seek my assistance. I give my word. I will help.
Thank you for taking the time to learn our situatiuon.
Best regards,
Robin
Shortly after, when his health did not seem to be returning, normally healthy appetite gone, clothes hanging a bit more than usual, we again figured this was just a more persistant and bothersome Strepp strain and he would just have to ride it out. Another course of antibiotics. Walk it off, so to speak.
On a visit to a friend's for a gettogether, our friend's mother, who hadn't seen Paul in a long while took one look at him and stated he looked terrible and should go to a doctor as soon as possible, as she didn't think this was mere Strepp.
As Paul and I were together everyday, his weight loss and gaunt face had appeared gradually to both of us, but to someone outside our normal everyday existance, the change was drastic and disturbing enough to be frank and insistant he seek medical opinion.
Appointments were made, tests were run and after a couple weeks we got our answer. Despite absolutely no family history of such, Paul was diagnosed with Type1 insulin dependant Diabetes. As a young couple, expecting our first child and with meagre income this was not only an upsetting verdict, but one which came with no help with the cost of medication or medical supplies for a disease which is not optional to treat.
As the years progressed, the expense left no room for frivolous things like vacations, or new cars, or silly notions like sending our kids to camp, going to Florida, saving to buy a house. We got by, renting and scrimping, and working hard for everything we had. Paul sometimes two jobs at a time, a day job driving restaurant supply and at night as a security guard. I drove a wheelchair school bus so we could avoid the cost of child care. We never took welfare. We sometimes had to visit the food bank. We could not earn enough for our needs and ended up pay to pay, in credit card debt and with nothing set aside for a rainy day, but we persevered and made a life for ourselves and our children.
In 1993 I was rear ended is stopped traffic on the Don Valley Parkway while on the job driving wheelchair transit. A woman paying no attention buried her car into my vehicle they estimated, doing 70kph. Five months pregnant and a broken pelvis, separated pubis and fractured hip, damage to me from my seatbelt. I also went prematurely into labour, but luckily hospital staff worked quickly and managed to stop the labour action and prescribed bed rest for healing and trying to reach term. Thankfully baby was uninjured. I even managed to deliver without C-section as I'd been told would be necessary. I worked hard on walking and as a family we worked hard on getting back on our feet
This took place during a time when no-fault insurance had just come into existance. There could be no law-suit. I lost two years of physical mobility, lost $48,000 in wages and was awarded just over $11,000 by WSIB for my injuries. During the lengthy investigations and panels, we still had our regular expenses. Our credit cards took the brunt with gas, groceries, diapers and formula. We ended up having to claim bankruptcy while awaiting my WSIB settlement.
When the money finally materialized we did the smartest thing we knew, putting it all as a small downpayment on a modest home in Innisfil, Ontario. A nice little town, a bit of a commute to the GTA, but a wonderful place to raise our children. Again we both worked hard for family
Then, in 1998, the unthinkable happened, our middle child ~ aged 8, showed the same symptoms that Paul had. I recognized what I thought, and after testing, turned out to be Type 1 Diabetes and it was more severe than his father's. He wasn't doing well on syrynges so we moved on to more expensive penfils and cartridges, and nothing really improved.
Our son was smaller than kids his age and suffered from extremely high blood sugars and severe headaches. Felt unwell most of the time. There were some harrowing trips to hospital and even one where he had to be medivacked to Sick Kids Hospital, where we were counselled to prepare for the worst. It was terrifying; Family came to sit vigil with us. But our son fought, and I slept in his room for a week, my husband visited daily; good friends watched our other two children. And at the end of the hardest week of our lives ~ afterall, he came home.
We were told he needed Insulin Pump Therapy. Pumps were not covered by the government and cost $7000. Paul had been told he needed a pump too, but a child comes first. A lady from the pump company came by and offered us a second pump for Paul if we were willing to accept one model back from the latest. $7000 for two pumps ! We were thrilled to accept. Father and son would learn and adapt together.
We had some fantastic help from a community fundraiser, supported by terrific friends, a local Innisfil restaurant and even a motorcycle club who came by with a cheque for money they had raised to help our son get an insulin pump. They even took him on an honourary ride. He wore one of their vests on the back of a big custom trike. He beamed from ear to ear. One of our very best days.
We had managed to get him his pump, but now the most costly method of insulin therapy had begun. Patches cost $20 each and last 3 days, cartridges $10 each/for 3 days use, canuala tubes $10 each/for 3 days, and insulin $30 a bottle lasting for about 10 days... All X 2. With no choice, we pay. We see methedone and syrynge supplies given out by our government, at no cost to those who "need". We pay. We see flu shots by thousands given by government, at no cost to anyone who "needs". And still for life saving insulin dependant survival, we pay.
By this point our monthly medical bills matched our mortgage, with no health benefits and little to no government health support; but on we went, paycheque to paycheque, year after year. I found a way to be there for the kids and our son's medical needs through self-employment.
We refinance and remortgage, we do without many things others take for granted and we come very close to losing everything quite a few times over the 23 years we've lived in our one and only family home. But we've managed to keep it going. We owe more now on our home than when we purchased, but we've raised a family here, married going on 30 years, with 3 kids, 2 beautiful little grandchildren and our dogs. Really, we don't need any more than this, a nice life together.
As Diabetes goes on in a person's life, so come the side effects; the additional illness and disease. About five years ago, my husband lost his sight for a time, due to Diabetic Retinopathy in both eyes (bleeding vessels in the back of the eyes brought on by the stress of fluctuating blood sugars). Thus requiring many visits to St. Michaels hospital in Toronto for ongoing surgeries and proceedures to restore his sight and as a result he has lost time off work and even at times the job itself. The Ministry of Transportation put his driver's licence to medical suspension just to top it off, even though his sight has been surgically rectified. All of this really hurts credit scores and affects prosperity. On Paul goes, finding new work when needed and always works hard, never complaining. He amazes me.
Through all these rough times we mange to hold on. Our credit is only fair, and the last time we almost lost our home we ended up having to take up an interest only mortgage with a private lender. Imagine a $1500 a month payment for two years, knowing you are not touching the principal amount, but you still have a home and things have to get better. Perfect payment for two years should mean something.
This January Paul was laid off from his cabinetmaker position. Job search was on again. About two months later he found a position at another cabinet operation... one with health benefits. We're over the moon for what seems in life, only a minute.
And now the kicker.
Paul, working there eight months and all the while feeling increasingly ill, started more medical tests to find the matter and discovers he is going through the stages of kidney failure, due to Diabetes, and with his health rapidly declining has to begin Dialysis, likely in the new year.
We choose at home, peritineal Dialysis, which means he can get his treatment while he sleeps and will be able to continue working. Meanwhile, myself having been part of a mass layoff and company closure, and knowing Paul in the next year or two, will be having a double transplant ~ kidney/pancreas and will need time to recover and heal from such a major surgery, I will have to take on the role of main breadwinner to compensate. We have a year or two to make it all work...
I research and come to the conclusion that a condensed 2 year Paralegal college course in 1 year will culminate in a law licence with the Law Society of Upper Canada, providing a decent career salary and allow us to get Paul well again. I qualify for Second Career as the mass layoff was done illegally by my former employer, but I'm told I won't be able to start until September of 2016. We, however, don't have the luxury of waiting the extra 6 months, so I am now forced forfeit the full funding from Second Career, to take on OSAP debt to pay my books and tuition and jump into the class which began in April, 2016. Upsetting, yes, but all of this we take in stride.
Paul's numbers begin to plummet more rapidly, reaching only 10% kidney function and the RVH Kidney Clinic team opt to move his Dialysis port insertion surgery to late October, 2016; way ahead of our plan. Paul informs his employer, requesting a week off for surgery and healing, giving over two weeks notice. Tells them he'll book vacation days in another month to do Dialysis training after full healing has occured. Fine, they tell him.
Surgery takes place on Tuesday, Paul recovers for the remainder of the week and returns to work the following Monday as expected. He works all 44 hours for the week, gets his paystub on the Friday and with it a dismissal letter stating he is laid off and to call back in the Spring.
Did I mention we were in the last steps of finalizing a mortgage renewal for February 2017 ? Paul's income qualified even without income from me (as a student). The renewal requires a letter of employment exactly when we now both find ourselves with no employment.
We owe $175,000 on a home worth twice the amount and ample equity grown since 1994 but we can't qualify for a mortgage with no letter of employmet. I've agonized over what to do. People tell me to 'let it go - it's just a house - you can rent'. But no one will rent to people with no employment to show, and who will hire someone who has to tell them he'll soon need time off for kidney procedures ?
Our mortgage comes due on February 6, 2017. We will have nowhere to go, after building a home and a life here, and will find ourselves homeless, a man on Dialysis who's done nothing but work all his life to give us our little place in the world. And so we ask for your help, to send us grace in whatever little you could contribute to keep us in our home, where my husband can carry on with his life-saving therapy and await the call for the organs which he so desperately needs.
Where we can celebrate our 50th birthdays and 30th wedding anniversary together with our family in February and March.
I make solomn promise to use my Paralegal law licence, when I write in August of 2017, to pay forward the kindness we ask of you now, by donating pro-bono legal services to those who find themselves in the kind of strife we have experienced, and come to seek my assistance. I give my word. I will help.
Thank you for taking the time to learn our situatiuon.
Best regards,
Robin
Organizer
Robin MacLeod Crowder
Organizer
Innisfil, ON