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Needing help getting out of toxic household

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Hello, my name is Angelica and I am a 22-year-old woman in dire need of getting out of my toxic and abusive household. I’ve lived with my parents since I was little and they abuse me emotionally and have physically, which has taken the worse toll on my mental health. They were born and raised in west Africa where mental health is taboo and not acknowledged in a positive manner. So, growing up in their household from when I was young, up until now has been absolute hell. I am the youngest of 13 siblings and was the only American born so I was and still am outcasted quite a lot.

My parents and occasionally my older siblings constantly abuse me emotionally and gaslight me at every chance they get, not caring about how it affects me since they find themselves to be of more importance. I have had many break downs in front of them and have tried expressing how much I’m suffering but they disregard me. My depression originally stems from them since they use me as their punching bag and put me down every chance they get. They’re practically dictators who will yell and argue when they don’t get their way, but because they’re stubborn and unwilling to be openminded, when I try to stand up for myself, they see that as me being a rebel and lash out more. I have tried seeing a therapist to help but because I am still living in the toxic environment not much has come of it. They used to attend sessions with me, but as I said before they simply are uninterested in understanding my mental health and how they affect it.

My grades have also begun to take the hit from what’s been going on as well. I’m a fulltime college student, so aside from the stress at home school can be as equally stressful. I love learning and try to use it as a distraction from my parents but due to Covid-19 the places that I would go to study and destress are still temporarily closed. That resulted in me having to do my schoolwork at home; but with their torment constantly going on it started to get hard to focus and it negatively affected my grades. I currently also work fulltime to pay for my tuition, bills, and other necessities, but they always take my money in whatever way that they can, whether it be to pay rent for the apartment, utilities, or something else. I make only enough to pay for what I listed above, which has made it hard to save money for me to move out. Most of my friends have already moved out and have places they’re living in so finding a roommate wouldn’t work. So, I’m hoping that I would be able to receive enough donations as a boost to help.

At this point I’m so desperate to get out as soon as I possibly can. My mental health is deteriorating, and I no longer feel safe in that household from my parents nor myself. Horrible thoughts keep popping in my head and it’s a daily struggle not to get myself too down so that I can pull through another day. I believe the only chance I have is to find my own space to live in and work on rebuilding myself, that way I’ll never have to experience this again.

Where I live apartments can range from $800-$1500, and because I have no renter’s history, I would have to prove that I’m fully capable and responsible for handling monthly rent. I have set my goal for $2,000, which would be decent enough to cover the costs of the deposit, rent, moving fees, and other fees that would have to be covered.

I’m not usually the type to ask for help, but at this time I’m desperate. It would be a blessing to receive any support from you, and it would mean so much to me knowing that there are people out there willing to help. Any amount that is donated will be highly appreciated, and I’d like to thank you for taking the time to read my story and donate if you decide to :)

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Donations 

  • Alison Kronstadt
    • $50
    • 4 yrs
  • Eliza Monty
    • $50
    • 4 yrs
  • Anonymous
    • $100
    • 4 yrs
  • Amanda F
    • $10
    • 4 yrs
  • Anonymous
    • $10
    • 4 yrs
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Organizer

Angelica G
Organizer
Des Moines, IA

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