TLDR: I’m trying to raise $600 for my therapy costs and a support group specifically for trans people. This GoFundMe is a place where people can just freely give. I’m also going to be taking pre-orders for dried teas & mushrooms, and custom pet portraits-- please contact me by email (rjaysea11 @ g m a i l . c o m) for more details.

The longer story (content warning: sexual abuse)

Most of you know that this has been a really brutal year for me. I could really use some help paying for therapy this winter. In the past I’ve been able to work enough to afford it, but this season I need a lot more rest and some extra support from my community. It feels extremely vulnerable to ask for this type of help, but I’m learning to trust that I know what my needs are and that it’s okay to ask and it can feel good to receive.

The first day of 2022 I texted my therapist Shannon (they/them) in a panic because something clicked into place for me the previous night and I realized that I had some extremely significant childhood abuse that I'd been repressing all of my life. And then I woke up the next morning and discovered I had tapeworms. It was a rough start to a hard year. I ended up moving and letting go of a lot of work that I was planning on growing into over the next few years to get some more stability and space to rest.

Shannon has been my co-pilot through it all. We’ve been working together for two and a half years now, and pretty much every week this year they have sat with me as I oscillated between stages of denial and grief. They somehow managed to start coaxing the part of me that’s a terrified kid to come forward and they held me in a way that felt safe. All of this they did VIRTUALLY, often over the phone because I was living in a place that had very sporadic coverage, especially in the summer.

Shannon is also trans. I cannot begin to express what it means to me to be held by such a skilled healer who I feel so much gender resonance with. Shannon has taught me so much about dignity, boundaries, protective anger, and self-respect over the years. My relationship with you, whoever you are and whoever we are in relationship, has been deeply enriched by my therapeutic relationship with Shannon.

I’ve also gotten to be a part of a support group they run, where I could be virtually surrounded by and loved on by other trans people in a group setting where we’re intentionally bringing vulnerable parts of ourselves to receive care and guidance. This too has been such an immense gift and has brought me so much joy, confidence, and desire to have more intimacy and care in a lot of my other relationships.

I am healing a lot. 2023 is likely going to be a really personally intense year too. One of the best and easiest ways to support me right now is to help me pay for therapy sessions with an incredibly skilled healer who has helped me hold onto my life and imagine new futures. Thanks <3