Need help with basic house bills

My husband is 45 years young. His name is Ralph and we’ve been married for 25 strong years. We are the parents of four great young adults and have one grandchild with another arriving in July. We both have always worked hard and taught our children to do the same, work hard and face challenges head on. Family means a lot to us, we are always there for each other.

In the last few months, my husband’s health has been failing, coughing followed by bouts of strong gag reflex. This went on for several months.  When these bouts came more frequently and stronger, I finally talked him into seeing a doctor.

CT scans and dye tests were done to reveal an enormous number of ‘spots’ throughout his torso attached to major organs and spinal cord.  His doctor, not sure as to exactly what these spots were, ordered a biopsy at the local Cancer Center. This local Cancer Center is 60 miles from the small rural farming community where we live. As a precautionary measure, my husband was given antibiotics and inhalers until he could get to his biopsy appointment scheduled for three weeks later.  Our truck doesn’t run very well, so we would have to borrow his dad’s car to make this trip.

I left my second evening job so I could be at home to take care of him. We needed that second income especially since we didn’t currently have his. But I needed and wanted to be there for him.  

During this next three weeks, my husband lost a drastic amount of weight due to multiple bouts of vomiting during the night. I kept a bucket by his chair in the living room and one in the bedroom for easy access. Most times he would sleep in a chair or recliner in the living room if he was able to sleep at all. His amount of sleep ended up being a total of an hour and a half all night. He would pace the floor because of the pain levels and/or vomiting not allowing him to sleep. I would sleep on the couch if he was in the living room in case he needed my help with anything. If he couldn’t get comfortable in the chair or recliner, he would move to the bedroom to seek comfort and I would follow. On average, he would move from room to room at least 4-5 times a night.

During the day, I sent messages and crossed the street to our house to check on him periodically through the day. Day time was a little better because the temperatures outside were slightly warmer. During these three weeks the temperatures in Montana were below zero. I would have to keep the thermostat at 80 degrees just so the chill didn’t get to his chest and throw him into coughing fits. 

I would leave the house between 4 and 6 in the morning for work.  When I got home for the day, I would check on him and then go take care of our granddaughter for two hours until our 16 year old got out of school to take over the care of her niece.  I would return to the house to start this routine all over again. 

The day of his appointment for the biopsy finally arrived and we borrowed his dad’s car to drive the 60 miles to the cancer center. We got the results of that biopsy two days later. On December 21, 2016, my husband was diagnosed with Aggressive Lung Cancer. I felt earth shake as our world erupted.

“Welder’s Lung”, the strain he carries, is developed from thirty (+) years of breathing in welding fumes of Galvanized and Asbestos covered metals. He tried to be careful by wearing scarves and handkerchiefs under his hoods to filter his breathing. He spent a lot of time outside in the fresh air doing something with his hands. 

All of those years he worked hard for his wife and children, supporting and sheltering us. Climbing buildings as he built them, risking dangers only those of the industry knew. He has taught us to live without expectations and fear nothing. We have lived in many places and gained experiences. The strongest man I know was suddenly fragile and vulnerable. Telling our children that their father that they loved and adored was this sick was going to be so very hard.

We drove home and found our kids one by one in their various places of work or home. You can’t hold your children tight enough while they cry tears of extreme sadness when they receive this type of news. We let them know that treatment would be started the next day.  That seemed to give them a glimmer of hope. They know their dad is strong and fights for everything.

We are very proud people and don’t admit when help is needed. We are the type to help others. Several months ago, we even joined an association that does many fund raisers for cancer, the largest being a Breast Cancer Awareness Run every summer. 

Medical bills shouldn’t be a problem. I have filed for as many programs as I can find. But these programs don’t help with basic house bills. Once disability kicks in, that will help with some but not all. Because he has been unable to work for the last few months, our bills are overdue. My full time job can only cover so much as well. 

Ralph’s treatments are working and his numerous cancer spots have decreased in size. But this is a very long journey that he/we have begun. It may be two years, or longer, before he is able to go back to work. 

I only ask for help with getting our past bills caught up and maintenance on our vehicle so we don’t have to keep borrowing Ralph’s dad’s car. More is needed and definitely helpful, but I don’t want to seem greedy.
Every little bit is greatly appriciated and will be used right away to get those bills caught up. 

I don’t know what else to say except…. Please, thank you and God Bless!!!!