Support needed to recover from heart attack

⏬Scroll down to read in English ⏬

Tere, minu nimi on Riko. Olen 39-aastane, sündinud ja kasvanud Eestis, kuid nüüd elan Soomes. Mul on kolm imelist poega, vanuses 9, 11 ja 14, kes tähendavad mulle kõike. Nad elavad oma ema juures Eestis ja kuigi me räägime tihti, on vahemaa nende vahel midagi, millega ma iga päev maadlen. On raske mitte olla seal, et näha neid kasvamas ja juhendada neid elus, kuid nii on elu kujunenud. Elu ei lähe alati nii, nagu me loodame.
 Natuke rohkem kui nädal tagasi (ehk siis 25.08.2024 ) muutus kõik mu elus. Mul oli südameatakk . Arstid ütlesid, et see on koronaararteri haigus – üks mu südame peamistest arteritest oli 100% ummistunud. Sellest olukorrast ellujäämise võimalus olevat hirmuäratavalt väike. Olin üks õnnelikest, öeldi mulle, kuid sõna "õnnelik" kuulmine ei pakkunud mulle tol hetkel suurt lohutust.
 Enne seda töötasin ehitajana. Olen alati olnud uhke oma töö üle – ehitada maju, luua midagi käegakatsutavat oma kätega. Aga nüüd, ma ei tea, kas saan kunagi tagasi minna sellele elule. Arstid on selgeks teinud, et füüsiliselt nõudlik töö, mida olen aastaid teinud, ei ole enam midagi, mida mu süda suudaks taluda.
 Mu partner on olnud kogu selle aja vältel hämmastav. Ta on mind toetanud igal võimalikul viisil, nii emotsionaalselt kui füüsiliselt. Ta on selline inimene, kes on emotsionaalne ja ma näen, kuidas see olukord talle mõjub, kuigi ta püüab seda mitte välja näidata. Ta on juba nii palju minu jaoks teinud ja viimane asi, mida ma tahan, on talle veelgi rohkem stressi tekitada.

 Kuid tõde on see, et meie arved kuhjuvad. Südameatakiga seotud ravikulud, elamiskulud, majapidamiskulud – need ei peatu lihtsalt sellepärast, et ma olen taastumas. Ma vajan vähemalt kolm kuud paranemiseks, kuid ilma kindla sissetulekuta selle aja jooksul seisame silmitsi finantsmäega, mida ma ei oska ületada. Ma ei ole kunagi varem kelleltki abi palunud. See ei tule mulle kergelt.
 Olen alati püüdnud olla iseseisev ja lahendada oma probleemid ise. Kuid seekord ei saa ma üksi hakkama. Ma ei taha, et mu partner peaks kandma seda koormat ja ma ei taha, et kogu minu taastumise raskus oleks tema õlgadel. Seepärast palun nüüd abi, esimest korda oma elus. Ma pöördun abi saamiseks, sest mul on seda tõesti vaja – mitte ainult enda, vaid ka meie jaoks. Ma vajan aega, et taastuda, aega, et välja mõelda, mis edasi saab, ilma pideva hirmuta, et kaotame kõik.
Kui saaksin natuke hingamisruumi, mõned kuud, kus ma ei peaks muretsema, kas suudame järgmise arve maksta, saaksin keskenduda paranemisele ja tervenemisele, nii füüsiliselt kui vaimselt.

 Ma loodan, et sa leiad oma südames võimaluse meid selles raskes ajas aidata. Olgu see väike panus või lihtsalt meie loo jagamine, iga toetus loeb. Ma tean, et seal on palju inimesi, kes on raskustes ja abi palumine ei ole lihtne, kui nii paljud teised samuti võitlevad. Kuid praegu ma loodan lihtsalt, et keegi kuuleb seda ja mõistab, kui palju see mulle tähendab.
 Aitäh, et lugesid mu lugu ja aitäh igasuguse abi eest, mida saad pakkuda. See ei ole lihtne tunnistada, et ma seda vajan, kuid ma usun, et veidi toetust aitab mul sellest läbi tulla ja tulla välja tugevamana oma pere jaoks.

 Parimate soovide ja lootusega, Riko Kändma


In English

Hello, my name is Riko. I’m 39 years old, born and raised in Estonia, but now living in Finland.
 I have three wonderful boys, ages 9, 11, and 14, who mean the world to me. They live with their mother back in Estonia and although we talk often, the distance between us is something I struggle with every day. It’s hard not being there to watch them grow, to guide them through life, but this is how things have turned out. Life doesn’t always follow the plan we hope for.
 A little over a week ago(25.08.2024), everything in my world changed. I suffered a heart attack. The doctors called it coronary artery disease—one of the main arteries in my heart was completely clogged, 100%. The survival rate for something like this is frighteningly low. I was one of the lucky ones, they said, but hearing that word—"lucky"—didn't feel like much of a comfort.
 Before this, I worked as a builder. I’ve always been proud of what I do—building homes, creating something solid with my hands. But now, I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to go back to that life. The doctors have made it clear that the physically demanding work I’ve done for years isn’t something my heart can handle anymore.
 My partner has been incredible throughout all of this. She’s supported me in every way, both emotionally and physically. She’s the kind of person who feels deeply and I can see how much this situation is weighing on her, even though she tries not to show it. She’s already been through so much for me and the last thing I want is to put even more stress on her. She deserves peace too.
 But the truth is, our bills are piling up. The medical expenses from the heart attack, the cost of living, the household expenses—they don’t stop just because I’m recovering. I need at least three months to heal, but with no steady income during this time, I’m facing a financial mountain I don’t know how to climb.
 I’ve never asked anyone for help before. It’s not something that comes easy to me. I’ve always tried to be independent, to take care of my own problems. But this time, I can’t do it alone. I don’t want to see my partner bear this burden and I don’t want to put all the weight of my recovery on her shoulders. She’s already done so much and it breaks my heart to think that this situation might push her to her limits.
 That’s why I’m asking for help now, for the first time in my life. I’m reaching out because I need it—not just for me, but for us. I need time to recover, time to figure out what comes next without the constant fear of losing everything. If I could just have a little breathing room, a few months where I didn’t have to worry about whether we can afford the next bill, I could focus on getting better, on healing, both physically and mentally.
 I hope you can find it in your heart to help us during this difficult time. Whether it’s a small contribution or just sharing our story, any bit of support makes a difference. I know there are many people out there going through hard times and it’s not easy to ask for help when so many others are struggling too. But right now, I’m just hoping that someone will hear this and understand how much it means to me.
 Thank you for taking the time to read my story and thank you for any help you can give. It’s not easy to admit that I need this, but I believe that with some support, I can get through this and come out the other side stronger for my family.

 Best regards and with hope, Riko Kändma