Name a Port-a-Pottie after Darcy & His hardwork

Alright, listen up, folks. Apparently, we're now in the business of naming portable toilets. Yes, you heard that right. Not a theatre, not a dressing room, a Port-A-Pottie. And not just any Port-A-Pottie, but one dedicated to the illustrious Darcy Turlock. Why? Because the Fringe needs money, obviously. And because someone, in a moment of questionable judgment (and probably a few too many post-show beverages), decided to permanently ink Darcy's likeness onto their… well, let's just say, a very personal canvas.

So, here's the brilliant plan: We're aiming for a measly $250. That's right, for the price of, like, two overpriced Fringe coffees and a stale pretzel, you too can contribute to a throne named after Darcy. Because, let's face it, nothing says "high art" like relieving yourself in a stall bearing someone's name.

And, of course, the grand vision? "The Technician Toilets." A whole row of these fragrant monuments, dedicated to the unsung heroes of the Fringe. You know, the ones who spend their days wrangling cables, fixing lights, and generally keeping the show from descending into absolute chaos. Because, clearly, our legacy should be marked in… sanitation.

So, cough up your $12.50, or, if you're feeling particularly generous (and have a strong stomach), $20. Twenty of you, and we get a Darcy-themed pit stop. Twenty-five of you, and we get two. Because, why stop at one when you can have a matching set? It's not just a donation, it's… history. History you can, uh, contribute to personally. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go find a quiet corner and contemplate my life choices.