My name is Mark and I'm not the kind of person to ask for help (why I'm here and in this position), but since my health has gone down these past couple of years, this year I'm unable to work until they can medically clear me to work and figure out what is wrong with me. With the VA system, it's a difficult road of hurry up and wait.

Lost my job due to health decline and I couldn't be a liability for a company that does Non-Emergency medical transport. I left on my own because I didn't want to be responsible for jeopardizing someone else's life out of pride or stubbornness. And, at this point, we didn't know what or why. I had no info, just always in the hospital, and I felt like I was going to die; it was a matter of when. I quit drinking, smoking, changed eating habits even though I was eating maybe once a day if I could hold it down, but gained 60+lbs. Still no answer, felt like I was just talking to a wall; no one would listen to how I felt. My wife, the doctors at the urgent care, and the VA. Nothing, until I was ready/well accepted I was going to die soon.

I thought since I had been going through these health issues that my wife could hold us off for a while until we got things figured out and hopefully I can start working again, but she couldn't handle it and I was angry all the time, so she took the kids and left. I harbor no ill will to her; I don't know, maybe it was for the best.

I was rushed to the ER back in June. The VA sent the police to do a wellness check because my hemoglobin was at a 3.8. My kids were freaking out because they didn't know what was going on. They were staying the night with me. I remember answering the door, then waking up on the floor, then took a ride.

It was embarrassing to feel helpless.

They were able to get me back up to a seven before they released me from the hospital, but now I have to go in and get iron and more blood and all this other stuff, and they can't figure out what's going on yet. And I'm out of options, too disabled for unemployment they said, so trying SS but who knows. I just need a little help to keep the lights on and the stress isn't helping. I just don't know what else to do. I want to live now for my kids and hope they can fix me enough to where I'm not falling over all the time. I miss helping with kids coaching, I have to pay for someone to mow and stuff. Sorry and thank you.