Life is tough sometimes
Donation protected
This is awkward to do but I have come to find out that many people have been wanting a tangible way to help Tom and me at this difficult time in our lives.
After having, what turned out to be, major back surgery in January of this year and taken off the required 3 months for recovery, Tom found out that he did not have a job to return to as he had been led to believe. It would not have been too much concern had the VA compensated him by upping his disability payment to 100% for the 3-month downtime which was a "guarantee." However, the VA denied the compensation and thus began a lengthy appeal process that continues to this day. That decision has sent our finances into a tailspin, which is hard to recover from. Sadly though, the surgery, the painful recovery, the loss of the job, the denial letter concerning the "guarantee" compensation, my diagnoses of Heart Valve disease with the looming Open Heart surgery for me, the feeling of failure and his self imposed isolation all led to years of repressed feelings coming to the surface.
It has been 20 years since Tom was in the Air Force and during his 21 years he had been deployed on many difficult missions recovering crashed planes, providing assistance to other military families during countless crises, deploying to the Gulf War region during Operation Desert Storm, seeing the result of airstrikes and being one of the leads on recovering bodies at the Oklahoma bombing site. For years he has been told that his troubled feelings were just "normal anxiety," but it turns out they were an indication of something so much worse. After months of noticing that he was not acting like himself, and dealing with actions that were totally out of character, my three sons and I made the heartwrenching decision to confront Tom about how he was acting (especially towards me) which led us to force him to be seen at the VA ER. It pained us all to hear that he had been thinking suicidal thoughts and the doctors felt it was best to admit him. It was one of the hardest things we had to do as a family, but it was out of love and concern.
Tom was diagnosed with Complex PTSD complicated with Manic depression. Today we are two weeks out from that incident, Tom has been home for a week. He is struggling a bit, and I admit I am too, but we feel confident he is on the right track to bringing him back to a healthy state of mind. He has a good medical team in place.
Not only are we hurting emotionally, but because of the debilitating cruel thought process that is part of having Complex PTSD, Tom has been out of work for 8 months, we are hurting financially as well. This puts another level of stress onto an incredibly stressful time. If you have an opportunity to donate, no amount is too small and would help us to get caught up on utility/house bills as well as pay some of the medical bills I incurred with my cardiologist back in April. Each month it has gotten more difficult to make it to the end of the month but even if you are unable to help in a financial way, please know that your thoughts, prayers, and messages of personal healing and hope are coveted and deeply appreciated. Blessings, Barbie
After having, what turned out to be, major back surgery in January of this year and taken off the required 3 months for recovery, Tom found out that he did not have a job to return to as he had been led to believe. It would not have been too much concern had the VA compensated him by upping his disability payment to 100% for the 3-month downtime which was a "guarantee." However, the VA denied the compensation and thus began a lengthy appeal process that continues to this day. That decision has sent our finances into a tailspin, which is hard to recover from. Sadly though, the surgery, the painful recovery, the loss of the job, the denial letter concerning the "guarantee" compensation, my diagnoses of Heart Valve disease with the looming Open Heart surgery for me, the feeling of failure and his self imposed isolation all led to years of repressed feelings coming to the surface.
It has been 20 years since Tom was in the Air Force and during his 21 years he had been deployed on many difficult missions recovering crashed planes, providing assistance to other military families during countless crises, deploying to the Gulf War region during Operation Desert Storm, seeing the result of airstrikes and being one of the leads on recovering bodies at the Oklahoma bombing site. For years he has been told that his troubled feelings were just "normal anxiety," but it turns out they were an indication of something so much worse. After months of noticing that he was not acting like himself, and dealing with actions that were totally out of character, my three sons and I made the heartwrenching decision to confront Tom about how he was acting (especially towards me) which led us to force him to be seen at the VA ER. It pained us all to hear that he had been thinking suicidal thoughts and the doctors felt it was best to admit him. It was one of the hardest things we had to do as a family, but it was out of love and concern.
Tom was diagnosed with Complex PTSD complicated with Manic depression. Today we are two weeks out from that incident, Tom has been home for a week. He is struggling a bit, and I admit I am too, but we feel confident he is on the right track to bringing him back to a healthy state of mind. He has a good medical team in place.
Not only are we hurting emotionally, but because of the debilitating cruel thought process that is part of having Complex PTSD, Tom has been out of work for 8 months, we are hurting financially as well. This puts another level of stress onto an incredibly stressful time. If you have an opportunity to donate, no amount is too small and would help us to get caught up on utility/house bills as well as pay some of the medical bills I incurred with my cardiologist back in April. Each month it has gotten more difficult to make it to the end of the month but even if you are unable to help in a financial way, please know that your thoughts, prayers, and messages of personal healing and hope are coveted and deeply appreciated. Blessings, Barbie
Organizer
Barbie Heydweiller
Organizer
Nashville-Davidson, TN