For over a decade, I've suffered from incredibly intense energetic issues. These issues have caused near-constant, and often severe, pain and exhaustion.

It's difficult to explain exactly what it is. I experience it as an extremely dense energy in my body, particularly around my skull and spine, that seems to block the normal flow of energy through me. At its worst, it felt like having a giant piece of old, rusty metal—or even a medieval torture device—welded into the back of my skull.

I've spent years trying to understand and resolve it. I've had tons of tests done, but nothing physically wrong has been found that explains what I've been experiencing. Eventually, I came to understand that this was something I needed to work through energetically, and ayahuasca became the most important tool in that process.

I first came to ayahuasca about eight years ago because I was suffering from severe depression and anxiety, along with this issue that I didn't yet understand. My very first retreat helped me enormously with the depression and anxiety. But underneath those problems was something much deeper, and that has turned out to be a much longer journey.

Since then, I've worked with ayahuasca extensively and have personally worked with well over a thousand people. I've seen it produce some truly miraculous transformations, and I've experienced profound changes in myself.

This particular problem, however, has been exceptionally stubborn.

It first appeared around college, seemingly out of nowhere. And along the way, it has made life incredibly difficult for me. For pretty much all of my adult life, if I wasn't working, I was lying in bed, unable to do much of anything else. Work was exhausting, relationships were impossible, and the prospect of building an actual future for myself seemed increasingly out of reach. Despite this, I've always tried my hardest to push through it and be a responsible, hard-working person.

Two years ago, I left my job in Costa Rica and came to Peru to devote myself to getting to the root of this thing.

I've now been here for over a year.

Last summer and fall, I had the opportunity to help a local family that I've worked with before host several ayahuasca retreats. In exchange, they've generously allowed me to stay in a small spare hut they have here. That has given me a place to live while I continue this process.

And I've made a tremendous amount of progress.

I've released layer after layer of the dense energy and pain that I've carried in my body for so long. The sensation in my head that once felt enormous has become dramatically smaller. What once felt like a giant object surrounding my skull now feels like something much smaller, almost as though I've worked my way inside it and reached the very core.

I can actually feel the energy shifting and releasing in a way that I never could before. I've also noticed that I have substantially more energy overall.

It hasn't been one dramatic moment where everything suddenly disappeared. It's been a long, painstaking process of peeling away one layer at a time. But after years of doing this work, I genuinely feel like I'm finally getting close to the end.

And that's why I'm asking for help now.

I'm running out of money.

Since leaving my job in Costa Rica, I haven't been able to work at all. At this point, I simply don't have a realistic way to support myself through conventional work while I'm still dealing with this.

Fortunately, my housing here is covered. What I need help with is continuing the ayahuasca work and covering basic necessities like food, supplies, transportation into town, and my phone bill.

About half of what I raise will go toward the medicine itself. I'm paying the family I'm staying with to prepare it for me, so that money also directly supports the family that has been helping me stay here.

The other half will go toward keeping myself fed and supplied while I continue the process.

I know this is an unusual situation. But after everything I've been through, I don't want to stop now.

I've come too far, and for the first time in my life, I genuinely feel like I'm getting to the root of this thing.

Going back home before I'm ready would mean trying to rebuild my life while still carrying the same exhaustion and pain that has prevented me from doing so for most of my adult life. Here, I have the opportunity to stay, continue the work, and see this through.

All I'm asking for is enough support to give me the time and resources to finish what I've started.

Just enough to help cover the medicine and basic expenses that will allow me to remain here and continue the process.

Asking for help like this isn't easy for me. I've always wanted to be independent and take care of myself. But right now, I need some help getting to the other side of this.

I don't want anything extravagant. I just want to feel healthy, have energy, be able to take care of myself, and finally build a life without feeling awful all the time.

For years, I've been the person helping other people through their own healing journeys—a facilitator, a guide, and sometimes simply a shoulder to lean on.

Right now, I'm asking for a little help with mine.

Anything you can contribute would mean a tremendous amount to me.

Thank you for reading, and thank you for helping me get this far.

— Will