My dad died in the streets of Fresno on Monday. By himself (all alone).
My dad's family found us some years back and we found out my dad chose a life of homelessness due to alcoholism after we left. He chose not to see us. I was also told that he stated he chose to punish himself for losing us.
It was hard to find this out. As many of you know I'm passionate about helping the homeless, now you know the reason. Many nights I laid awake wondering if he was cold, sick, hungry. Every homeless person I see my dad rushes through my mind. I wonder what their story is. Because yes... their is a story to each human.
His sister and brothers want him cremated and later they want to take his ashes at some point to Mexico to be laid with his Mom. They have expressed that ultimately as his children we have the choice on how to handle his remains.
I believe cremation is right. But as his daughter - all I ever wanted was my daddy. The pain of his absence never went away.
My two brothers and I had our family. We were blessed with two additional brothers and our baby sister. We don't consider eachother step or half siblings. Our love is pure wholeness.
But we were the three Gaxiolas in a world that we didnt always feel complete in. We LOVED our last name though and the attention it brought with it. We longed to know where our name came from. Where we came from.
Our father didn't allow us to show him the love we always had for him in this life time.
I know God does not make mistakes and Mundo was chosen to be our father for a reason.
The total act of forgiveness and love of his children - would be for us to provide a proper service for my daddy. Most importantly be able to part his ashes in two. I want to bring peace and closure to my brothers and also bring peace to my aunt and uncles. He should be placed to lay finally with his mom who worried about her son to the day she passed. But my brother's and I also want to send him back to nature close to our home. We would like to place him in a beautiful part of stillness and beauty where we can finally go and have our time with him. My hope is that we can have him a beautiful releasing ceremony- maybe a sea burial.
After 30 years of wondering the streets ... he can finally be back where he belonged all along ... with his children.
It amazes me that I only have a few memories of this man but yet our heart aches as if he was part of our lives forever.
With any money that remains we would like to return to downtown Fresno and give it to the men and woman that have been his family for over 30 years. We would like to find people who knew him and listen to any stories they have and leave them a little something if we have it.
We live the lives we choose. Sometimes we don't get the human experience right. Our job is to learn and most importantly love.
Can you please help us with a donation of any amount to allow us to do the right thing my heart is telling me to do? Splitting his ashes and bringing him home to release him with a beautiful ceremony and help give us that closure we halve all desperately been seeking.
Edmundo (Mundo) Celaya Gaxiola
March 3, 1951 to Feb 23, 2015
Rest in paradise daddy, you are finally coming home. I promise.
- edgar g.
- laura silva
- Jose Rivera
- Ricardo Gonzalez
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