I am very embarrassed and hesitant to do this, but I feel desperate and don’t know what else to do to protect our family. I am a single Mom and full-time caregiver for my 34-year-old son with cerebral palsy named Jamie, and 19-year-old daughter, Kaitlyn. We have been living in a rent-geared-to-income accessible unit in Durham for the past 9 years. We have never once been late on rent. While we felt blessed for a while to have this living situation, it has become a nightmare, to the point that we fear for our lives here. I am college educated in business and accounting but had to give up my career to care for my son when he no longer had any options for reasonable or affordable programs in Ontario. This situation is terrible for the mental and emotional health of our family and I don’t even want to try to fight to cling to the little benefits we have with cheaper rent anymore.

My goal is to relocate us to another province where we can start fresh, and start a family business offering art classes for both children and people with disabilities. We would like to free ourselves of the chains of living on government assistance and restrictions that go along with that.

In the future, I would also like to go back to college to become a paralegal so that I can be better equipped to defend us from any issues like slum lords, and to advocate for my son and others who have disabilities but get forgotten about or taken advantage of by corrupt systems. I have many years experience successfully advocating but have never sued. In hindsight, I now regret that decision. We plan to change our lives from rags to riches, or at least to much better standards than we have been living in, and never end up having to live under these kinds of circumstances ever again.

Our current living situation is terrible: Our neighborhood has been taken over by gang activity, and seems to be getting worse by the day, as is sadly the case for most government-ran neighborhoods. Ours only has around 100 units, so every incident is too close to home. Shootings, stabbings, and other violent crimes happen way too often. Someone even got shot right outside our window as we were watching TV one night. Kaitlyn was so scared that she moved her bed into my room and has slept next to me ever since.

We’re including pictures of a few of the major incidents that have happened in our neighborhood, but many more have occurred that weren’t publicized.

After the last recent shootings, the police came to the community and held a meeting to speak to the residents. We were told we could call victim services for help, especially since we were considered direct victims from finding the man shot by our house. We called them, and were told that because it had been more than 45 days since it happened, that there was nothing much they could do for us besides put us on a waiting list for a few sessions on safety tips. They apologized to us on the police's behalf, since they were supposed to refer us for help as soon as it happened but failed to do so.

We have recently put security cameras to record around the outside of our house, but we know that it upsets people who commit crimes around the neighborhood. So, while it provides us with some sense of security, on the other hand, it could be putting us in danger on another level.

Our house conditions are another issue in itself: For years we have been putting in work orders and complaints for repairs, but we get ignored, gaslit, or excuses like it’s not in the budget for the majority of them. There’s mold issues, leaks in both the walls and plumbing pipes, and we have had flooding both on the main floor and in the basement. The basement floor is disgusting from the damage of these leaks and flooding from the cracks in the walls. The pipes in the basement have been altered to what seems like there was a marijuana grow-op prior to us living here. That would explain why we had to demand and fight to access our basement after we moved in, even though every other unit had access to theirs. When they gave us access, they quickly sent in guys to remove a fake bathroom that had been built down there, but nothing was done to fix the pipes to property standards.

Our main floor has parkay flooring that is cracked and warped with lifting and missing tiles. It’s so bad that sometimes you can only open the bathroom door halfway. You can tell the tiles are very old. It’s so bad that it’s humpy and bumpy all over the place, which creates a tripping hazard for my son, James, who walks around the house with a limp. It is important for him to walk around the house as much as he can to keep what ability to walk that he has, and for exercise considering his condition of cerebral palsy. Management doesn’t seem to care, even though they have recently been installing laminate floors in other units. They told me that they do not put lamante in accessible units.

There are raised cracks in the ramp leading up to the house, the driveway, and the sidewalk on our street has deteriorated. It gets worse every year and is ignored. Yet, management replaces the stones around the office building almost every year.

Management forced us to take a hot water tank/furnace from a company that we have to call the USA for service from when it breaks down, and for them to send a repair person from our area to our house. In spite of the fact that we pay the bill, they refuse to let us use a local company like Enbridge. It breaks down frequently, and the USA company doesn't seem to care about the laws regarding having to make sure tenants have heat in the winter. I usually have to call several times and follow up just to get a service call arranged. This causes so much stress, especially since Jamie has steel plates in his leg that cause him pain when it gets cold and loses his ability to walk for a few days.

We even had to call bylaw after 2-3 months to force them to fix our wooden patio ramp on the outside of the house after it somehow caught on fire a couple of years ago. Our health and safety seems like the least of the worries for them around here. The problem with trying to complain about the management and the treatment that we receive around here is that all of the complaints have to go through the management which is a conflict of interest. So I contacted the MP for our area and got zero results, except a letter stating that they received our complaints. I tried to attend the last public housing meeting but it was cancelled at the last minute and never received any notice of it being rescheduled.

Ontario has a lack of programs affordable or with space for Jamie: We tried a couple that were available, but I ended up taking him out of them for different reasons. While he has mobility issues and some learning disabilities, he is very social and loves to talk. He is very positive and full of happy energy in social situations. The last one that was government-funded consisted mostly of people who were non-verbal, or were not at the same level of mental function as him, so he spent most of his time alone on the computer watching videos. Since Jamie was the only person in the program who had a wheelchair, he was left out when they took the other attendants to a Blue Jays game. Then, some staff were exposed for taking donated gift cards from sports agencies and selling them on the street. That’s when we decided it would be best that he didn’t go back there. We know that other provinces have much better programs and opportunities for people like Jamie and his needs.

Ontario has way too many people, and the government seems to keep cutting from the disabled rather than giving them any help. I am tired from having to advocate to get anything he needs. I plan to make sure he has a program and friends even if I have to create one myself, as I mentioned we want to offer art programs for disabled people. But we do not want to do it in Ontario.

Being on ODSP has left us all feeling hopeless to change our situation for the better. We aren’t even allowed to get a loan or a line of credit without having to beg for permission that would likely only be granted for medical reasons. If we do take out a loan or line of credit, it will be considered income and deductions would be taken from the ODSP, as well as the rent raised.

Kaitlyn graduated high school in June this year. We were not aware that the rules would leave her in a no-win situation. She is only allowed to make $200 before ODSP will take 50% for every dollar over that off the ODSP amount (absolutely ridiculous). Then, the rent will be raised according to that amount as well. And she can’t be taken off the ODSP as a dependent unless she moves out. How is a teenager supposed to save for college or move out under those circumstances? The system seems like it is set up to keep you in poverty forever.

And, in spite of delivering newspapers from 9-15 years old, she could not find a job even while in high school. She is very creative, and got an average of 97% in English throughout high school. She tutors a couple of kids in English to make a little spending money, and wants to start her own business teaching kids and teens, and disabled people in creative arts. Unless she moves out on her own in Ontario, which is literally impossible here at this point, these rules and restrictions will never change.

With my college diplomas in Business and Accounting, I will be able to help her to fulfill her dream to be an entrepreneur. ODSP restrictions will no longer hold her back. Also, Jamie could have new friends, programs, and feel like he has some kind of purpose in life. He would like to continue with his art and hopefully even be able to sell some someday to earn an independent income for himself. We plan to include him in the family business as much as possible when we get it up and running.

We need a fresh start, and know that relocating would make a huge difference for our futures, and peace of mind. Moving is our only chance to provide our family with a safe environment, and to finally have the opportunities to build a better, brighter future for all of us. We would like to move to another province, preferably west. Anywhere but here would be great.

Even if you cannot donate, sharing our story means a lot and is greatly appreciated. We need money to help with the moving expenses, and about 6-12 months rent, since we won’t have an income in-place when we get there. That would buy us enough time to get a roof over our head, and to get our finances in-order. We will be packed and ready to move very quickly if we’re lucky to raise enough to make this possible.

Thank you for taking the time to read our story, and for any support that you can provide us. God bless.