I know I've been posting a lot of depressing things lately. I'm going through the rock bottom end of my life. This is my last resort and as much as my pride is hurting to have to do this, I have to now ask for help. I'm defeated, abandoned, and alone.

I've been fighting to overcome PTSD from an abusive relationship from my son's father for the last 3 years. In this time period I developed ADHD, Major depressive disorder (MDD), generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), panick disorder, and my PTSD that it all started with.

I've been in the emergency room multiple times with uncontrollable panick attacks, Dominik scared riding in the ambulance because I'm all he's got. I've been on every medication there is to try to control my symptoms and relieve me so I can live a normal life and care for my son. With that being said the medications I've found to help (just this last month!) are expensive after a co-pay ($300) and I can't afford them monthly at the moment. I also have therapy and multiple appointments with the psychiatrist to control my disorders and keep me on medication appropriately.

In the midst of all of this... my son now has to have a knee surgery (he's 12 years old!) because of a patella causing dislocation but at the moment the doctor scheduled an MRI because he stated he's never seen exactly what my son's knee is doing and he needs to figure out how to appropriately fix it in surgery. I'm the only one there for him and the recovery for a knee surgery will be intense. He will need my care and physical therapy. I will need to be with him and I can't afford to not work (no more paid time due to all other emergency illness).

I'm not asking to fund my paycheck completely. I'm still going to earn money working as much as possible but I'm limited on what I can do at this time as well. I can only work minimal hours until I'm cleared for more due to the severity of my symptoms associated with my conditions. All of this has literally come down on me this month!

This last month I have not been capable of working due to multiple emergency room visits and uncontrollable symptoms. I even had a medication that ended up leaving me stuttering, having involuntary muscle movements, twitches, and then ended up with a seizure while trying to take my son for ice cream. When I got at my worst, during all of this trauma I was unable to keep my support, my uncontrollable symptoms became too much for them to deal with any longer. When I started feeling better (got off the medications causing adverse reactions and started a new medication I had never had before) nobody wanted to come back into my life because of the stress of dealing with my previous conditions. I finally feel happy and normal and I didn't even get given a chance to show this side of me, I had already been given up on.

All of this has truly been a nightmare that I still haven't woke up from. Yes, I am alone without any help and any child support or even moral support from his father (hasn't made any attempt to contact him now in almost 3 year's). I've made it on my own without anyone for this long so I know I'll be able to maintain once I can get all of these things under control. I'm just at a point that I am out of options.

If I don't have help my son and I will end up homeless by the end of this month. I won't have enough money to afford rent either. My ex ran up a credit card debt on my name before he left so I have horrible credit, no payment down for a place, and no rent money if I were to get evicted. I know I can explore my options of the homeless shelter but I don't want my son to have to go through that. That's why I'm here now sucking up my pride and asking for help, anything!