My name is Gavin. I’m 18 years old and I’m gay. This go fund me is basically to help me start my life. I’ll explain why and how, this is my story. I was raised as a Jehovah’s Witness and homosexuality is not tolerated. I first thought I was gay when I was 10, but tried to fight it because I knew that I wouldn’t be accepted by my family.
In March 2020, I was not doing so great mentally because I was conflicted with what I had been taught about homosexuality and my sexuality. I hated myself, but my friends accepted and supported me. They made me realize that what I felt was alright and I owed it to myself to be honest. So I made the decision to come out to my parents. I was wanting and hoping to receive love & acceptance, although I knew deep down that’s not what I would get. I came home and sat them down in the kitchen and before I could even say anything I was already crying like crazy. My mom kept asking me “What is wrong?” “You can tell us anything” “We love you.” So I just said “Mom, Dad, I am gay.” We sat in silence for a little bit and then they automatically went to the Bible. They tried to say that I can change and deal with it. My dad even said “I lost my son to the devil” and that line right there was devastating. In their eyes, I was now in the same category as the most evil deity all because I was being honest about the way God created me. For my entire life I was taught from the bible every day so I went into panic mode thinking that God hates me and I will never be resurrected just because of who I love. My parents told me if I wanted to “live that lifestyle” I needed to move out when I turned 18.
To make the matter worse the next day they took my phone. My sister had given them my Snapchat info so they could login. They found all my conversations with my “worldly” friends. Worldly is a term that is used for people who are not a part of the religion, which is a big no, no!! They found messages with my ex and basically everything that I’d try to keep private. See, Snapchat was my escape from life and the one place I could be myself with my friends. Once they saw that they told me they were taking me out of school, they took my phone, my laptop and anything that I could use to reach my friends. Their goal was to get me away from “bad association” and the timing was terrible. The next week after I was about to be pulled out, Covid hit and everything closed down, so I was trapped at home with no contact with my friends, who had become my only support.
My parents put a kind of deprogramming study in place that we did every Wednesday. We read from scriptural based books about homosexuality and the goal was to show me there is a way to live my life without being gay. This went on for almost a year. 2020 was by far the hardest most mentally challenging times of my life because I couldn’t be myself. I subconsciously locked myself, my personality and sexuality, in a bottle for a year and kind of became a robot. So much happened that year. There were times that I honestly contemplated suicide. The only thing that made me not take that final step was my friends. I can say hands down my friends saved my life and I wouldn’t be here with out my best friend Emerson.
So fast forward to February, tensions were high because I was going to move out on my birthday the 15th. My family and I fought a lot and I’ve never had more anxiety than I did then. In their eyes they didn’t kick me out and honestly they didn’t technically. They gave me an unfair ultimatum, they said
1. I couldn’t associate/contact with any friends outside of the religion.
2. I would not be allowed to “practice” homosexuality/homosexual acts.
3. I would have to participate in the religion (that I don’t believe in).
Those were not terms that I could agree to. So on the morning of my 18th birthday, I got up early, made breakfast and took an Uber to move in with an amazing family!!! My best friend Emerson’s parents, Mark and Jennifer, knew what I was going through and offered to take me in. They truly are amazing!!!! We’ve become family and I love them so much. They put an extra bed in Emerson’s room and I’ve been sharing a room with her since. I got a job and was able to work while I completed my senior year and participated in graduation.
Now to the reason that I need financial assistance. I am looking for an apartment, so this money would go towards the first and second months rent and the down payment. Also, I will need supplies need for an apartment and I basically have nothing but clothes and shoes. I have no furniture, utensils, plates, pots and pans, a bed, sheets, blankets, towels, etc. I can’t afford a car or car insurance yet, so I will need a bicycle or a moped to get to and from work. I’m also hoping to go to college once I can save enough money for transportation. Any dollar amount would be much appreciated!! I know we are all going through hard times right now and this year has sucked the life out of many people. I promise this, that one day when I am financially stable, I promise I will pay it forward. I would like to start my life and see where it takes me. Thank you for everything!! Love Gavin ( :
