My Millie Is Suffering & Needs Help

I still remember the first time I saw Millie. She was 8 pounds of eyes, ears, and belly. Without choice, she instantly became the center of my universe. Anyone who knows me knows that my love for her is borderline unhealthy…(and by borderline, I mean definitely unhealthy…more of an obsession really). She is a grounding force, my beacon of light, a warm blanket on the coldest of nights. She has been the most unexpected and greatest of teachers and a witness to my imperfect life, without judgment. She has been my constant companion, my best friend, my home. And now she is sick.

Anyone who knows Millie knows that she has had her fair share of health struggles and, well, “Millie struggles,” over the years. Hardwood and tile floors are lava and nothing is scarier than most backyards or walking on leash. The animal hospital was our second home during her first year of life. Parasites, endless food allergies, colitis, a luxating patella, etc. I spent Christmas break from grad school sleeping on the floor with her for two weeks after her first surgery at 1.5 yrs old. Despite the fact that she’s not that small and I’m not that big, I carried her & her cone of shame up and down a flight of stairs for weeks when she had an indolent ulcer. She has carried me in many ways on many days.

I dropped to my knees this past year when I thought I was going to lose her to a mass that was beginning to wrap around her trachea. She did what Millie does - she pulled through. She has always pulled through. Until now. Now, the love of my canine life (who just turned 12yrs old on Halloween), is suffering and I am without answers thus far.

She stopped breathing two months ago just long enough for me to see the terror in her eyes as she urinated on herself and struggled to find a way to catch her breath. She is on a growing list of medications to treat GI/acid reflux issues and quiet her arthritic pain. Nothing is helping thus far. She spends hours a day crying and whimpering, she pants constantly, she paces, she trembles, and she is frantically glued to me. After many tests, the vet can tell me that she has a questionable liver, acid reflux, and a growing number of swollen lymph nodes, but he cannot provide more clarity without more tests and a referral to a specialist. And just this last week, she developed a hematoma on her ear and another indolent ulcer in her eye, which can take weeks to months to heal.

After spending over $8000 on her just in the past year, maxed out CareCredit included, there is no greater torture than seeing her look to me for relief that I cannot provide without more money for testing.

With the deepest pain I have ever felt, I asked the vet if it was time to euthanize Millie. He said no. It's not time yet because, in many ways, she is still healthy. Further testing is the most they can provide at this time, but the very thing I cannot afford. And so, I am asking for help with the cost of seeing a specialist and more testing. I am not interested in trying to cure her of cancer or any other diseases that may pop up with further testing. I am only interested in trying to figure out what is going on and what options are available to keep her comfortable until she is ready to leave this earth.

I have no expectations, only hopes for this gofundme thing. If this gofundme thing doesn't fly, that's okay. More than anything, I just need to be able to know that I tried to do everything I could for her. Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this and thank you to anyone who is able to contribute to her care.