Our Kuya Alan's Cancer Challenge

October was a month of very highs and very lows for our family.  The family (4 sisters and mother) set off for the Philippines to celebrate our niece Hannah's wedding.  Hannah is Kuya Alan's first-born daughter.  A couple of weeks before our arrival, my brother had been experiencing pain in his abdomen area.  We told him to get some tests done to find out what the cause could be.  He went to the hospital, got some tests done which included a colonoscopy.  His colonoscopy came back normal and he was sent home with medicine for upset stomach.  When we arrived in the Philippines, Kuya Alan was still experiencing pain.  The sisters (Ate Lala, myself, Mimi and Sharon) told our mother that this needs to be looked at again at another hospital to get a second opinion.  We brought him to one of the best hospitals in Manila - St. Luke's Medical Center, where he was brought to emergency.  He was admitted at the hospital for the night.  He stayed there with his very loving girlfriend, Daisy.  We were told that they were going to perform a CT scan which should show more of what may be causing his pain.  In the morning, the doctor called and said she would like to go over the results of the CT scan.  Protecting our mother, we decided to have our sister Mimi stay home with her, while Ate Lala, Sharon and myself went to the hospital.  I will never forget that day...the doctor invited us to a conference room, she said the reason why the previous colonoscopy came back normal is that a colonoscopy shows the inside of the intestines, but that our brother's pain was due to a tumor that had spread inside of the abdomen and pancreas.  She proceeded to show us the CT Scan that clearly showed a mass.  The doctor followed by telling us that our brother had Stage 4 Pancreatic Cancer and that in these cases, the life expectancy is somewhere between 3-6 months.  We were devastated!  My personal thoughts were, "Why is this happening?!, How did this happen?!"  The doctor told us to freshen up because my brother doesn't know yet and that she would tell him when she felt it was the right time.  We went back to his room, held our tears back (which was very hard) and put our brave faces on to let tell him that he should stay in the hospital so that they can help him with the pain.  Our next worry was giving the news to our sister Mimi and our mother.  We got home, mom and Mimi were anxiously waiting for us.  We told mom to sit down and told her the diagnosis that was given to us by the doctor.  She fell from her seat and kept yelling "Not my Alan!, please God, not my Alan!".

Wow...that day, as you can see has been playing in my mind, over and over again.  The pain in  my heart has not diminished.  It is constant.