Hello, my name is Dana. I am 35 years old and now learning things one does at 18. My husband unexpectedly passed away on Jan 28th 2024 he was 63. We were married for 18 years. I am now editing four months later. You can follow along on my updates and channel. Everything my husband has done in 20 years has been a lie. Like a spy. Different wives and now a secret family with children. As devastated as I am now searching for any job, I now have had to change the doctor I've had for eight years because I paid $100 a month out of pocket for eight years and cannot afford it. Change to a health provider that has had a serious negative, deadly impact on my life before as I now am being diagnosed with breast cancer. I'm trying to wrap my head around a double life that he had as bombs keep coming out and exploding my life, while my health is now failing. My children whom I'm desperately tryibg to provide for on a cut check now are the only reason I am going to fight.

I met him while working for him after his new deli had opened next store. I was going through a lot emotionally and mentally reeling from my father's unexpected passing. I did not understand death and it took a good decade to even begin to grief. Don and I married once I turned 18 and I started the family I always wanted. We had two children right away. I stayed home an took care of the kids and house. Life seemed perfect. Don Worked a lot, was never home and as time went on it seemed that most of the things he would say, were unture. In Time it became clear he was sick, mentally. A pathological liar. The grief I suppressed from my father eventually took over as well as the sadness he was causing ( lying, cheating, moving from house to house and losing belongings etc) and I got sick around 2010. I was drinking a lot and once I was literally on the verge of death I stopped. It was very hard and I still don't know how I did it alone to this day. A few years after being sober we decided to have one more child. Now a seven year old girl whom is very devastated right now. They were very, very close. He was not present a lot but when he was, he was a great father. He never disciplined them but played and gave a lot. He had a lot of friends from working and he seemed to help everyone except me. I did leave a couple times, only for a year both times amd worked full-time jobs but I always came back as he called and came by daily woth promises of being better and loving me. I loved him and felt that I needed to take care of him because of the trouble his lies would always cause him and the fact that I take loyalty very seeiously and i had taken vows. Don was a unique man with old school values. If you can call them that. He never drank or did drugs. Just gambled some. He was sick. He couldn't stop lying and he never could get help for that because he would lie to the doctor about lying but also a born con. I always begged him what would happen if something happened? I never was given any money, accounts, no car and I barely could leave the house. He always said the VA benefits would take care of us and financial things. I was a surrogate for my best friend this past year and for some reason I was very worried something would happen to him. I thought it hormones but I feared prison or sickness for him so I literally asked him this almost every night. "VA", same answer. Show me papers... "tomorrow". Tomorrow never would come with him. The VA turned out to be a lie once I applied after his death.

After Christmas of 24 he had a heart attack and while in the hospital he restricted visitors except for his eldest daughter whom he barely spoke to. So i was told. None of it made sense. We were not allowed to even go to him. I was with this man every day of his life for 20 years and he told them he was not married and would only talk to her..agter 18 years of marriage. Which i am now told months agter his death that not only am i not wife 3. I am wife 5 and maybe not at all. Theres a possiblity he married the 5th girlfriend. I am unsure about this but am shocked to be wife 4 or 5. It turned what ive known upside down. His daugter has been very kind because she knows how her father lies and acts, as he did with her mother. she has been helping find all this information after his passing. In late Jan He asked them to stop all medications after a month and passed a few hours later. He wanted to come home and I guess thought he'd make it. We begged him not to on the phone. I assumed he wanted to come home to tell me what to do, but he made her his executor. Which means I need her to do anything. There is nothing now. No money, no will, no VA. Any accounts are empty now as they were all in other peoples names including his deli and all that goes with it. Also different addresses to where his mail was going. I've had to go and get marriage license and bank accounts as well as signing up for things that are being denied one by one. Anything extra that I can apply for I have which wss only my daughters social sercurity check now only 618 because my older two chikdren are currently with their aunt.

In the beginning nothing got done because I needed so many different papers from so many different places and each day one thing takes all day, phone calls get dropped and the offices all continue to make mistakes. I spend my days trying to find clues to things , things we don't even know are true or that exist at all. All the things he said he had ( properties, cars money, VA ) Again all lies. I've been grieving and having a really hard time but now I'm just caught between wanting to hate him and why i cared so much..to this person that was essentially a stranger. He really left us with nothing, knowing I didn't know how to do anything and after everything I have and done for and with him.

I can work five jobs if I have to but everything is taking time and time I do not have. I have been passed on or passed over for a 100 jobs i have been applying for SINCE he had the heart attacl. Knowing, id have to work if he came come. The most important thing is the home we're renting. It's low rent and I cannot lose this house. Especially for our children. My youngest is having a very hard time missing her father and I do not want to explain grown up things to her and have her life uprooted even more. So I'm asking for help. Believe me when I say this is the last thing I would do but, I have to for her.

I was able to pay the back rent that was 2000 thanks to certain things i saved and working at the deli before it closed and as well as all the help I have received on here as well as my page. We had the rent check at first. Vannahs ss check was 928. His sister went and filed for my 16 and 17 year old and now it's only 618. So that is all we receive a month. Besides 336 for food. All that I am grateful for. Vannah is sage here and loves her school and all her little friends. My porch is the town hang out for these 7 year Olds, lol. I appreciate any and all help to keep us here.

This is a story you hear. A story people have warned me about and said would happen and I told them no. He would never do this. Maybe if it was just me because of the way horrible way he would talk to me but not the kids. I'm just as shocked and scared. And I don't understand and probably never will why he lied the way he did and why i stood for the mental and physical abuse. We are four months after his passing and running low on tome and money. My health is now failing as I stand on the beginning of a cancer path. Om very scared at this point. Every other day we find out a major life changing lie. I say its like being married to a spy. We recently received a letter that someone else has applied for the ss and our checks maybe cut again. For another child? A secret family? You can follow my story and journey @bflydane. I do this to show people that innocence and confusion is real when a predator takes over your life. I HOPE. To help peole on the same situation now and in the future as well as educating. Its good to know there is someone out there listening amd also that i am helping someone too.

I ask anyone whom is able to please contribute. Any cent or dollar means something. Thank you for taking the time to read, God Bless you. Thank you. Please follow and share our pages as well as prayers.

I do not use much social media. We beg for help. And we love you all.

#whenareyoucominghome

@bflydane

$bflydane