Trafficking, Trauma & TBI - Help me fix my brain!

By birth,  I am a fighter. By nature,  I'm a fighter. Circumstances have left me unarmed in the throes of evil,  but I've found a way out using humor and sheer wilI.  Humanitarian Clowning and a  circle of Sisters and Brothers who've survived the treachery of trafficking have guided me to the right people at the right time.  So again,  I'm fighting.  However,  I really need your help.  I suppose the time has come for me to get on the more serious side of things... although it may be short lived. (Clowning is just my thing) My insurance has notified me that they are approving all requested treatments and tests regarding my brain condition. For those who may not know or believe what's happening please know that I have state insurance (medicare) and absolutely nothing is done unless there is significant and tangible evidence that it is an absolute necessity. What that means is; I have long-standing, significant Traumatic Brain Injuries-TBI (plural) with prolonged Post Concussive Syndrome (PCS) and Post Concussive Depression, with the possibility of Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy which can only be diagnosed upon death. I have watched, listened, read and mourned for and with many of you who are also in my shoes. I have memorialized and helped save from imminent death too many of my survivor siblings to go on silently. YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I AM FIGHTING FOR YOU TOO.  As I draft this open letter to my family, friends and colleagues I want you to know that I am, admittedly, at my lowest point. I had to return to West Virginia and subsequently to Michigan to save myself from myself. Here, I can't do much, if anything to hurt myself or anyone else. Not that I have any intention of that,  but my condition leaves my whole world uncertain,  scary and dangerous.  I have managed to lose some of the most important people in my life, although maybe those who love me just don't understand all of this. It is a condition that has a history of tearing families apart. My case isn't any different in that aspect.   I have also let some very bad choices control me in ways I don't even see.  Although it has been gradual, things have come to a point of being detrimental up to and including unwanted thoughts that I may be better off simply not waking up another day, leaving everyone better to mourn my death than my horrible life.  That is the worst possible thought to fight.  I am fighting it though.  I will continue.  So, throwing in the towel and heading back into the woods to do my Patch Adams thing was the best I could think of until my treatments start.... sometime in the first week of September. I am now safely staying with one of my mentors who is encouraging me to keep pushing forward, which brings me to the point of this letter.  I am on my last leg, literally and this is all I have left: YOU, and I need all of you. The following is a list of needs. Someone to take care of my service dog while I am at treatment if she can not come with me. My dog does not like other dogs. Also, my dog is essential to my well being and mental health. I wish that I could have ber trained but I'm not financially set for that.  I will need funds in order to get to my treatments in San Diego because my home is in Palm Springs which is a 3-hour commute. My treatments are in San Diego, 5 days a week for 6 weeks. I will need help with transportation to and from San Diego back to Palm Springs and also to my treatments at Kaizen Brain Center while I'm staying in San Diego.  I will also need a place to stay in San Diego because the commute there is 3 hours plus two hours' treatment and then 3 hours back to Palm Springs amongst having symptoms and side effects. I have a few options for living arrangements during the next 6 weeks - a discounted hotel room for patients of Kaizen, which is still overly expensive -two options for Air BNB’s -studio/efficiencies to rent which would be nice because they have a kitchen. I need a place with a kitchen so that I can eat according to the diet my doctor (as well as my own personal health habits) has recommended. (No added sugars, corn syrup or processed foods) Lastly, I need overall donations to pay for food,  hygiene and other personal expenses.   The total amount I need to raise for accommodations, food and personal expenses for myself and one other person is the total amount I'm asking for in the fund raiser. If you can, or would prefer to pay directly for a service, lodging or meals that is also an option. You can simply send an email with your alternative. This new venture is a first for Human Trafficking Survivors. We likely have the highest rate of TBI and remain the most overlooked. Sadly, we suffer from the most debilitating effects of the violence and Trauma that we experience at the hands of buyers and traffickers alike. Please consider this an investment in the movement as a whole, as I am doing this for us all. Thank you for taking the time to read this and even if you can't help financially, I'd like as much moral support as possible. Emails are great!!