My 6 kids & I pay my bills, clothes & food

Hello, my name is Maria I’m a mother of 6 beautiful children. This is very hard for me to do I feel very ashamed and embarrassed to ask for hand outs. I feel like a failure as a mother. I feel like people will say “ she’s an adult she shouldn’t have had 6 kids if she couldn’t support them” which is true, but I didn’t expect to end up taking care of them all by myself. In the blink of an eye your whole life can be ripped from you and your left stressed out and contemplating life or death at times scared your going to lose everything you do have. And that’s what happened to me December 1st when my children’s father was taken from home. I don’t know when I’ll see him again or when my kids will see their father again. The worst part is being alone to figure this all out by myself. I have some job interviews lined up, but I need to have a job in order to get free child care. So it’s a process, I worry so much about my kids going to daycare because they have never been to daycare and my 4 year old son is autistic and HATES leaving the house. He will self harm, or have a complete melt down and it’s hard to calm him. So I’ve always avoided daycares as much as possible due to him being non verbal and not being able to tell me what’s going on. I love my kids so much, but I have fallen so far behind in bills just trying to survive and get our basic necessities. We don’t get enough food stamps to survive the month so I’m always struggling to feed them the last week/first week of the months. I’m at risk of losing our vehicle due to not being able to make my payment for the past 2 months & im behind on rent. Their father and I used to split the bills and due to my recent health issues during my last pregnancy I had to stop working and he picked up the slack with buying everything we needed for the house. And now he’s gone. I’m asking for any help anything will go a long Way even a share. I just need to catch up on this last month I fell behind on. Thank you & God bless.