As was the rest of the family, my excitement grew with each day, as I knew I was a day closer to meeting my nephew. Everything was in order. Baby showers were completed, the nursery was set up. It was very evident walking into their home, that a baby was not only on the way, but already so incredibly loved, and everyone was so anxious to meet him.
Then, this past Tuesday, around 4:00pm, I received a phone call from my mother, and I knew by the tone of her voice that something was wrong. When I asked, she painfully, answered while choking back tears that we had lost the baby. I asked again because I could not believe it. I must have heard something wrong. My sister had just been at the hospital three days prior and everything looked great. My heart sank, tears began to flow, and I was overwhelmed with grief, anger and probably most of all, sympathy for my sister and brother. Being a man of faith, I immediately began to question why. I prayed. I clutched my rosary, and in the same way my mom broke the news to me, I tearfully asked God, "Why would you do something like this? How could you let this happen?"
My sister was taken to the hospital and they began the delivery process. Days had passed since, and I was amazed at how well her and Kurtis were handling everything. Kurtis had shown me that he was a man of conviction. I know they were dying inside, but their love for each other and commitment to each other was undeniable, and impressive to say the least. I did not know what to expect, but I knew the hardest part was yet to come.
I stayed at the hospital that night, my loving wife at my side. I slept in the hospital waiting room, as much as I could anyway. Myself and my wife, along with Kurtis' family, waited anxiously, grievously and patiently. A little after 4am, we received a message. He was here. But this time, instead of celebration and smiles, tears began to flow. Tissues were passed around. We had all been praying that the doctors were wrong. That he would be delivered and miraculously, he would come out kicking and screaming. We knew by then that our prayers hadn't been answered.
A few hours passed and we were finally given the ok to come back and meet him. When I opened the door to the room, I saw my sister, with Kurtis at her side, holding their baby boy. Surrounded by family in silence....with only tears. He was perfect. In every way. Pictures were taken. Prayers were said. Each family member spent some time with baby Layne, spending what little time with him we could. Holding him, loving him and kissing him. Saying good-bye when we should have all been saying hello. It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life, and also the saddest. As I eventually left the hospital, I couldn't quit thinking about everything I had just been a part of, and suddenly, my questions had been answered. At least in the best way they could.
Although his time with us was short, baby Layne had shown us more than anyone else ever has. When I held him in my arms, kissed him and said good-bye....and as I watched everyone else do the same, I saw God. I saw God in him. It wasn't his physical presence we were mourning over. He was there physically, We had him in that regard. It was his spirit and his soul that we mourned the loss of. The part of us that God takes when our time here in this life is up. There is no greater proof of God than that, and we all knew in our hearts that baby Layne was in good hands. We grieve out of selfishness, and there is nothing wrong with that. A lot of people find hope and purpose from tragedies like this, and I will never forget baby Layne for giving me that. In his brief time with us, he gave us more than most people do in a lifetime. My sister said it the best: "Some only dream of angels, I held one in my arms."
I would like to thank my sister and Kurtis for allowing me to be there for them, and for sharing with me that little miracle that has touched my heart and soul in a way I never knew possible. I ask that anyone reading this can at the very least keep the two of them in their thoughts and prayers as they continue through this difficult time. Lift them up in prayer and in thought. I am setting up this fund to help pay for funeral arrangements for baby Layne. There will be a memorial service, and I will be sure to keep everyone updated as the details of that unfold. I thank you all for your kind thoughts, well wishes, and prayers. It has been overwhelming in so many ways, but you are all amazing and none of your contributions go unnoticed by any of us. We send you all our love, our thanks and our gratitude. Any donation is greatly appreciated and will help with funeral services and memorial costs. Thanks again for everything. All of my love, and God bless.
DonationsSee top donations
- TOM/SALLY REED
- Carmen Mansfield
- Bret & Katie Hamlin
- Nancy Maxwell
#1 fundraising platform
More people start fundraisers on GoFundMe than on any other platform. Learn more
Expert advice, 24/7
Contact us with your questions and we’ll answer, day or night. Learn more