Because breaking silence should not mean breaking completely.

My name is Cibelle Cavalli Bastos. I am a 47-year-old Brazilian, non-binary, chronically ill fine artist, musician, independent researcher, and activist.

Since before October 7th’s escalation, and especially after, I have been speaking out — publicly, openly, critically, and consistently — against the genocide in Gaza and the ethnic cleansing of the Palestinian people.

It was everywhere: on my social media posts and stories, on TikTok, in the open letters I signed, and in protests on the streets. I knew there would be consequences.

But nothing could have prepared me for how precise, silent, and devastating those consequences would be.

The Cost of Speaking Out

A timeline of the deterioration of my professional, financial, mental, and physical health.

From late 2023 onward, retaliation began to unfold.

I was targeted in a smear campaign by the Taz newspaper aiming to discredit artists who dared to call what is happening in Palestine by its name: genocide.

https://taz.de/Abwege-des-Aktivismus-in-der-Kunst/!5971023/

Algorithmic Suppression

On top of the threats, cancellations, and loss of income, I was also algorithmically suppressed by the very platforms where I had been speaking out. My posts began to vanish from feeds. Engagement dropped drastically. People told me they weren’t seeing my updates unless they searched for me manually. Even attempts to submit this GoFundMe campaign have repeatedly failed, triggering moderation flags without explanation despite the fact that I am raising funds for my own survival, not for any political campaign.

This is not a bug; it is a feature.

Algorithmic* capitalism punishes those of us who deviate from its prescribed narratives, especially when we dare to speak of genocide, colonial violence, or systemic oppression.

For someone like me -a neurodivergent, chronically ill, non-binary, from the Global South and now rendered precarious despite a long standing career across multiple artistic fields- this algorithmic erasure compounds already existing vulnerabilities.

The fear of "algorithmic death", of becoming invisible, inaccessible, and supressed is part of a broader architecture of silencing. It ensures that people remain quiet, even when they possess deep compassion and the emotional capacity for solidarity. The fear of destitution is real and tragically, it is validated everywhere one turns.

The absence of mutual aid for those who lose their livelihoods for speaking up, compounded by algorithmic suppression that undermines any path to financial independence, only intensifies the fear for others who might feel called to act. In Germany, this pressure is tenfold. The bureaucratic, cultural, and institutional weight behind this silencing is heavy and deeply felt.

The Personal Cost

I lost work opportunities almost overnight.

Curators confided that when they offered my name for panels, talks, or shows, it was refused explicitly because of my political position.

Threats appeared in my inbox. Strangers suggested I should be reported to the German police.

My application for Bürgergeld (basic support) was denied under suspicious conditions. Even my appeal (Widerspruch) was rejected.

I was dropped from the KSK (artist social security system).

I maxed out my €10,000 overdraft. The bank now reduces it quarterly and adds €300 in fees.

I lost my home, despite always paying on time, because the person I sublet from asked me to leave after everything that had happened.

Eventually, in late 2024, I was accepted into Bürgergeld, but it pays me just a little over €500 per month. That barely covers even the most basic needs.

My atelier costs €170/month

My storage costs €180/month

= €350 gone before I even address food, rent, medicine, or work-related costs.

I have had no other income and I still don’t see any on the horizon.

The gap between basic survival and what I receive has pushed me into over €15,000 of debt in rent, health insurance, overdraft fees, and day-to-day living costs. This includes money borrowed from friends and distant relatives who were themselves stretching their means to help.

My newly acquired chronic illness has made it nearly impossible to do the tasks required to access support like updating my portfolio, applying for open calls, or chasing grants. Let alone trying to maintain a side hustle or hold a part-time job.

And yet, it’s not for lack of qualification.

My CV is stellar. I have exhibited, performed internationally, and I have lectured at major institutions - including Stanford University, FHNW, Gerrit Rietveld, CUNY, KiT-NTNU, UiB in Bergen, Goldsmiths, The Hague, and so on.

Still, no work has come my way.

This is not a reflection of merit. It is a reflection of silencing.

Health in Collapse

The stress of this ordeal has left my health shattered throughout 2024 until this day.

In 2025, I was hospitalized twice with Myasthenia Gravis, a severe autoimmune neuromuscular illness. If untreated or unmanaged, it can become life-threatening. Because of my financial and bureaucratic situation, I haven’t been able to fully investigate or start proper treatment. The only “treatment” I’ve had access to is the cheapest one: rest as remission when peace of mind is nearly impossible.

On a daily basis, I live with:

Chronic fatigue

Double vision

Cognitive fog

Weeks at a time where I physically cannot work

My prescription glasses no longer work for me and I can't afford new lenses

Why I Need to Find to Safety

I am currently in Berlin, but I no longer have the physical, emotional, or financial conditions to stay here as it is.

I also need to be in Brazil -part time at the very least- to be with my 83-year-old mother, who is undergoing cancer treatment. This is no longer only about my survival, it is also about being where I am most needed, and where I may have a chance to rebuild with support.

Until I have enough to move, any contribution already brings relief for food, medication, rent, and the freedom to move.

The Engineered Silence

Part of the reason I waited so long to ask for help is the weight of a global moral trap:

If you speak out, you lose your livelihood.

If you ask for help, you’re told others have it worse.

If you say nothing, the genocide continues to the entirety of Palestine and beyond its borders.

This is not coincidence : it is a design.

It is a web of silencing that works on two fronts:

Direct punishment: loss of work, denial of welfare, surveillance, bureaucratic blockages, threats, and even eviction.

Internalized shame: making us believe we should stay quiet, that asking for support is selfish, that survival is a privilege we don’t deserve.

This mechanism doesn’t just harm me, it protects the structures of violence. It ensures fewer people dare to speak, and that those who do are isolated, unsupported, riddled with shame, guilt and erased.

But silence does not protect, it sustains the loss of lives whether by bombs, by induced chronic illness, or through the quiet creep of suicidal ideation that comes when you begin to feel unviable as a human being, when everything you’ve built is taken from you and those you fight for as you call for justice.

The way we’ve been doing activism and donations is not yet holistic.

Those of us who’ve spoken out in solidarity are falling through the cracks with no mutual aid structure in place to support those made precarious for refusing to stay silent.

If we want the movement for Palestine to sustain itself for as long as necessary, we must care for everyone collapsing under different pressures both on site, and elsewhere, while keeping the utmost priority on saving Palestinian lives.

We need each other to survive this.

We must not lose those fighting for justice, wherever and whoever they are.

✨ What Your Support Enables

I am seeking support to:

Cover basic survival costs

Pay urgent debts (over €15,000)

Store my belongings

Buy a flight to Brazil, or somewhere safer, cheaper and closer to rebuild outside the machinery of punishment

If you’ve followed my work, if my words have resonated with you, if you believe in mutual aid as resistance, please consider contributing or sharing.

Let’s Rewrite the Terms of Survival

This is not charity.

This is solidarity.

This is how we protect each other when institutions and structures punish us for speaking the truth.

Let this be a rupture in the silencing machine through mutual aid as a collective refusal to leave our voices and bodies behind.

Supporting those of us who have lost everything for speaking out does not replace or compete with supporting Gaza directly. On the contrary, it strengthens the whole.

Because in the scale of activism, many are still silent out of fear of losing jobs, homes, or safety. Those who do speak often lose everything. If we want more people to speak freely, we must build a culture where those who risk their livelihoods are not abandoned, and where the organism of resistance takes care of all its parts.

To be truly successful, our solidarity must be holistic:

tending to urgent survival in Gaza,

and tending to those silenced elsewhere,

so that resilience grows everywhere.

This is how we ensure not only that Gaza is supported, but that all of Palestine can be free.

With deep gratitude,

Cibelle

To the GofundMe algorithm: I am not raising money for the middle east, I am raising money to save my life, in Germany. I can ask for help whilst not decentering the Palestinian lives that are under a horrific situation.

I am a non-binary, neurodivergent and chronically ill Brazilian citizen.

This is the third time I am trying to submit my personal GoFundMe and this algorithm will not let me.