The state has placed a levy against my bank account again, which is the only way I can receive my VA disability check and pay my rent and barely feed myself. This time, they absolutely will not release it until I pay them 2500 dollars. My rent was due 8 days ago.
I have borrowed everything I can from relatives, they're all broke too. I have no one else to ask. I have been job hunting for the last few months, and I am very close to a very nice job in SQL database administration for an aircraft rental company, but if I don't have a functioning bank account, I won't even be able to get there. Travel costs money. Everything costs money when you're poor.
I literally have to raise 2500 dollars to be dead broke. Anything I get beyond that will go toward keeping myself fed and arranging transportation to any job I may get. But if I don't get this business with the state handled now, it won't make a difference even if I get the job. Without a large influx of cash right now, I'll most likely end up on the street sometime this week, and eventually in jail for contempt.
I know most of my friends and family had no idea things had gotten this bad, beyond a few vague references to myself as being broke all the time. Well, that's because I have pride, and I hate asking for money, even when I really need it. But now I do. Really really badly.
I've lost a lot of friends over the past year or so. I haven't been a pleasant person to be around, so I isolated myself, hoping to be forgotten long enough to pull myself out of this hole where I don't have to depend on others to live. It ultimately comes down to the fact that I hated myself for being such a massive failure. I have been paralyzed. I allowed the hopelessness to carry me into a state of complete apathy. I simmered in my anger, and blamed other people for it. I'm sorry to anyone I hurt during this time. It wasn't about you.