3:47 am and I can’t sleep. Not that this is anything new, I don’t think I have had a full nights sleep in at least a year. Tonight is different though. Tonight my son and I are facing becoming homeless and I’m terrified. My skin feels like it is on fire, my chest is tight and my head is pounding. How in the world did we end up here?

My name is Tina and I have worked hard all of my life and my family and I have overcome so much; surviving a terribly abusive marriage and setting out on my own with three young children. After my divorce, I enrolled at a university so that I could get a good job and take the best care of my family. I worked during the day and went to school at night. I was fortunate because my grandmother moved in with me and helped me with my children until it became too much for her. Our family has suffered many losses in the last fifteen years and most of our immediate family passed on. The family that remains, like too many these days, are struggling as well. But you can’t give up on the ones that you love. You keep pushing forward and hope that there are better times ahead. That is what has kept me moving through some of the most difficult and trying times, that belief that there will be better times ahead.

I worked for several years at the University I was attending, helping adults return to school and I have spent the last fifteen years teaching singing and drama to underprivileged children. My children and I did community theater as a family when we were going through our struggles and I know how fun and therapeutic it can be. It was a privilege to teach the children that passed through my classroom. Many of whom are adults with children of their own now.

I tried to buy my family a home several years ago. Rents are so high, it is actually better to own but I discovered that, if you have a large student loan, no one wants to qualify you to buy a house. This has left me no choice but to rent and deal with all that renting entails. Of the last three houses we have rented, one house the owner stopped paying the mortgage and allowed the house to be foreclosed on. We got a note tacked on the window two weeks before Christmas telling us that we had to vacate. The next place we rented, the owner tacked a note on our door just after Christmas to notify us that the he had sold the house and we had to vacate.

Moving is a huge expense and, if you are living paycheck to paycheck, you can’t save up for emergencies. After the last house got sold, my eldest son Chad, decided to move back in with me so that we could help each other get back on solid footing. We both had to completely empty what savings we had and borrowed the rest to be able to get into the house that we’re living in now and pay the required deposits. Four months after we moved in, my son’s car died. A few weeks later, my son’s company decided to let him go and work for him has been sporadic. For two and a half years we have spent every penny on rent, utilities, etc. and are still left wondering if we are going to be okay from one month to the next. Now, I’ve lost one of my two jobs.

Our current landlord asked us to contact her right away if we run into any snags paying the rent on the due date and that, as long as we kept her aware of our situation, she would work with us. I notified the owner of the house and made her aware of my situation. We had been paying her half of the rent every two weeks and I needed to change the due dates while I was receiving my unemployment. I assured her that I had good prospects and promised to let her know when my situation changed. However, she responded by tacking a vacate in sixty days notice on the door. I don’t understand the coldness of what is being done. I can’t move right now, I can’t qualify to rent anything without a job and I can’t afford the cost of moving. She’s kicking us to the streets.

While the possibility of homelessness keeps me up at night, the thought of my son going there with me, the sadness and the horror I see in his face because he wanted to help me and now he gets to watch this happen to both of us, we can’t end up like this. We tried to manage on our own but it just isn’t possible anymore. Neither one of us is giving up but we can’t do it alone so I’m asking. I know that many people are struggling and I have this voice in my head that keeps saying “what makes me more deserving than anyone else?” It’s hard to ask for help, if it were me alone, I probably wouldn’t be asking now but I can’t watch this happen to my son.

Chad and I understand the hard road ahead and we are ready to do everything we have to in order to get out of this situation. We hear the stories of people who, once they end up on the street, they can’t get off. I’m nearly sixty years old, I don’t know if I could survive being homeless.

What we need are funds to pack, to move to an area with more jobs that hire full time and pay a decent wage, to be able to put down the necessary deposits plus first months rent, and to keep a roof over our heads while we get all of this together. Please know that I am grateful for whatever anyone can spare to help us and whatever amount we get will be put to good use and we thank you.