Moving to Japan to Rebuild—Could Use Some Help Getting There

Hey everyone,

I’m Sam/Smexi. I never thought I’d be in a position where I’d be asking for help like this, but here I am. The truth is, the last few years of my life have been incredibly hard. I spent so long feeling like I didn’t belong in this world at all. I’m usually the kind of person who finds the silver lining in things, who can always laugh through the pain, but for a while, I lost that part of myself. I couldn’t see any reason to keep going and truly didn’t want to exist anymore. But, I’m still here. Thanks to therapy and reconnecting with the things that bring me joy, I’m feeling more like myself these days. That spark of hope is back, and I want to harness this new love I’ve found for myself and do something with it—something big. I’ve decided to move to Osaka, Japan, to give myself the fresh start I desperately need. But I need your help to make it happen.

In September of this year, I visited Japan for the first time, and it felt like everything clicked. I fell in love with the place in a way I can’t fully explain. I felt more at home there than I have anywhere else in a long time. For the first time in years, I had this deep sense of belonging. It was like I’d finally found a place where I could breathe again. So, while this is a huge decision, it’s the right one for me.

After my engagement fell apart last September, I moved into a place that’s been a safe space for me to heal. Unfortunately, the house is being sold soon, and I need to leave. Staying in Oregon is just not an option for me anymore. The cost of living is insane—rent alone in Portland for a one-bedroom apartment is over $1800, not including utilities. Plus, I can’t bring myself to live with strangers after everything I’ve been through. It’s just not something I can do. On top of that, the area I’m currently in doesn’t even have reliable internet, which I need for my content creation and streaming work—my main source of income. Japan isn’t just about running away from what’s happening here. It’s about running toward something that makes me happy. I plan to attend a language school while I’m there on a student visa and continue building my content creation career, but I need to raise $15,000 to cover the move, living expenses, and tuition.

This move is about survival, yes—but more than that, it’s about truly living. I want to feel like I belong somewhere, and I want to keep being the person I fought so hard to find again.

Anything you can give helps, and I’m endlessly grateful for your support. Your contributions will help me take this huge step toward a life that feels worth living again.

With all my heart,

Sam