More than 12 years of stage 4 breast cancer, help

Hi, I am fundraising for myself. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, everyone cheered me  and was eager to provide financial help. But once your hair grows back everyone believes you are cured but the treatment continues. I am not cured despite having pink cheeks and pretty hair. I will ultimately die of this cancer and until that time, I will be in treatment. I’ve lost my job to Covid and because of increasing cancer pain. I find that I am only really able function for about 4 hours a day. The cancer has moved into my bone marrow causing low red blood cell counts and exhaustion. I started with 7 bone tumors in 2011 but now have them from the top of my skull, my face, all the way down to my ankles, so many bone tumors that the radiologist no longer counts them. I receive some money from survivors benefits after Dougs death and a very small disability from my work as a substitute teacher, which I loved. I was hoping to become a licensed full time teacher before Covid and serious cancer progression ended that idea. I hate asking for help, it feels like begging to me. I’ve always been energetic and hard working. Ive always been the giver. But I really need help. I have used my retirement to pay medical bills and I have taken a home equity loan to pay medical bills which I am worried I won’t be able to pay back with the very high interest rate it and my mortgage have recently acquired. I also have credit cards that were used to buy gas, heating oil and food when my monthly income didn’t stretch far enough. I would love to prepay my funeral too. Having struggled with how to pay for my mothers funeral ( my grandmother kindly paid for it) I don’t want my children to struggle to pay for mine. They are just starting out in life and have no backup after I’m gone. I don’t want them to be pulled down by my cancer debts. And honestly, I wish I could have some fun sometimes. My cancer buddies in MBC Travelers are fulfilling bucket list trips, that I can’t afford. I feel like I don’t deserve fun because I have this disease.

im also concerned about the reliability of my vehicle. My car is a 2006 with 180,000 miles and issues with the front axles. If anyone can donate and repair the front axles on my element, I would be very grateful or if anyone has a used vehicle that I could have that would be more reliable, I’d gladly sell mine and give them the money.

I also have holes in the floor in several rooms due to recalled pipes. Because I purchased the house after the recall, I wasn’t notified and didn’t know I had an issue until pipes started bursting on a regular basis and the plumber finally told me why. The recall was closed by the court so the problem was mine. I’ve had the pipes in my entire house replaced but I can’t afford to fix floors, nor do I know how. So if there is a carpenter out who would like to do a massive good deed, my floors would be grateful. Even if you only repaired one hole in one room, I would be very happy. 

Anyway I need help and I struggle to ask for you. This was written with many tears and regrets and a heart full of gratitude that I am able to ask.