Hello! I'm a wine-tasting consultant, jewelry and diamond salesperson, and writer from Dowagiac, Michigan. Some of you may remember me from America's favorite syndicated quiz show, where I've done everything from talk to Alex Trebek about goats to get used as a floor mop by Amy Schneider and Dave Madden in the 2024 Invitational semi-finals.

I come before you today with a cute and furry request for help. Like most places, cat rescues and low-cost spay/neuter/vet clinics are pretty much swamped, so I'm trying not to add to their burden, or worse, dump the problem on county animal control. For six months, I've had a semi-feral cat, dubbed "Momcat", living in and out of my porch, along with her October-born kitten Pickles (I don't know, she just looked like a Pickles.) Thanks to my beagle Bailey's strange cat-whisperer abilities, after several months I was able to adopt Pickles's littermate Chessie, and handle Momcat a little. However, Momcat and Pickles (along with a fully feral local dubbed Mr. Big Stuff, who does not do people at all) have never tamed entirely. I don't MIND farm cats, and this is the first winter I have not had a single mouse turn up in my chicken feed cannisters on the porch. However . . . .

As the name suggests, Momcat is contributing to the cat population. April 14th, she produced four new members of that community. On the plus side, I was able to use this to get her in the house and isolated away from the indoor cats. On the down side, that is five cats who will need food, litter, vetting and HOMES, because I do not have room for any more indoor cats. I plan to keep Momcat, who will go back outside once that becomes an artifact name, and if I can catch Pickles (which I suspect will be a one-time situation, so everything will need to be done at once including spay/neuter once we know which is needed) s/he will also resume Barn Cat Life, but there are four wee ones who will need to be vaccinated and fixed and found new, ideally indoor, residences. Because my indoor cats, especially my elderly gentleman PC, may decide to pack up and move if anybody else comes to stay.

Being Jeopardy!-famous and writing short but disturbing psychological horror is not as lucrative as one might think, and I am not running a nonprofit. However as mentioned rescues here are FULL of kittens so I cannot bring myself to dump on them, and my other animals will not starve if I buy more cat food, but vet care is a big issue. So I am asking for help on behalf of both this litter and the bigger picture of reducing the feral head count around here by a LOT. There are a few lower-cost clinics within 1-3 hours of me (it's Michigan, we give distance as units of time and that's not that far) where I can try to get a reasonable rate, and I may be able to talk my mom's vet into a group rate when the kittens are big enough.

This is GoFundMe, so I can't offer specific rewards, but I can always offer a few signed books, telling an Alex Anecdote yet again, naming suggestions for kittens until they have forever homes, naming rights to a character in a slipstream/psychological horror story or a fantasy romp or even an upcoming cozy mystery (I need victim names anyway!) If you're a fan of Star Wars fan fic, I am ImperialGirl on Archive of our Own and while I'm not offering the next chapter of TIE Fighter (you're getting that anyway) I can do a hundred-word drabble in my Legends universe! Or you can donate for the warm fuzzies. Literally and figuratively. Just let's please help the cat population bomb and overloaded, overcrowded rescues by keeping these out of the system and off the streets. I'd love to keep them all, but since I can't, I'm hoping for help giving them a good start. Which includes spay/neuter/vax.