I'm Asking for Your Help

Asking for help isn't easy, especially when it comes to financial help. I know that there are the people who will judge me, rightly or wrongly, and base that decide to help me or not. I know that. My faith tells me that with humility, I will receive mercy and that those who judge will one day be judged.

I am in need of help. I have a neuromuscular disease that makes it difficult to stand or walk. Standing in my kitchen, waiting for my dinner to hear up in the microwave for 3 minutes isn't an easy task. As the spasms in my back begin, I look at the timer wondering if I can wait out the clock before the excruciating pain demands that I sit.

If I sit up straight and relaxed, my entire upper body begins what I call, Parkisonian movements of the worst kind. I've learned to compensate by holding my body in certain ways so that I can continue to work. I love what I do and want to continue to help clients heal from trauma.

A few months ago, whatever this health issue is started to affect my heart. I really noticed right before Easter and Holy Week. I sing in our church choir and Schola Cantorum. During that time I started to experience my heart going into AFib. I shared my heart issues with a few of the tenors I sing with as they say with me, as I tried to calm my heart back to sinus rhythm, and become less dizzy. I prayed for strength so I could return to sing on Good Frday and Easter. I knew then, this could very likely be the last Easter In able to sing unless there is something medically that can be done for my heart.

While there may be options, I have not explored them more fully and here's why. Did you know that you can be evicted if you don't pay your rent while you're in the hospital? What good is a healthier heart if I lose everything else and end up homeless?

How is it that someone with a PhD, is a licensed mental health provider can end up in my situation?! Clearly I must be at fault in some way. I know that there are people who think that. How do I know? I've heard it said directly to me. Words hurt. Words matter. Millions of Americans are one health issue away from losing everything. And if you're a single, woman who's self-employed in the mental health field and are older, and I use this term with pride, "crippled," you're really on your own. Through my faith I know I'm not alone and I want and need your help.

I am exactly that person. If I cannot work, no money comes in. What I earn per client, what insurance pays varies greatly. One insurance company might pay, $125 for a 1 hour session. For that very same service and time, another provider might pay me $50. That's before taxes and business expenses. I would love to take more clients, provide professional training, provide consultaion, have a podcast. The possibilities for earning sustainability and physical, mental, and spiritual health balance. And...

I cannot plan to do any of that until I take care of urgent medical issues. As my health and heart continues to worsen, and if I want even have the option of medical care to improve myb health, I need your help.

I'm asking anyone who reads this, who I've touched your life in a positive way, whether that was in one brief moment, or showed you kindness, made you laugh or smile, if you learned from me, shared in whatever I had to give and I did so freely and without regret, to please help me now.

Your help can come in several different ways. If you have any spare change (real or virtually and NOT crypto), a dollar, $5,$20, $50, etc., to please help me. If you do not have that to give, please share the link, or information with as many people as you can. And you can help with prayers.

Upon further prayer and reflection, I decided to lowered the amount of money I pay to raise quickly. I reflected on what is the lowest amount I needed to save me from being homeless, that I needed up front for my medical care. If through your generosity, I can reach my adjusted request, I'd have a chance to literally live to fight another day, to help others.

Your contributions will go directly to help cover my $2,000 health insurance deductible, $200 for my monthly medication for 2 months, and $3000 will cover my rent for 2 months if I'm unable to work right away. if I'm able to work after a couple of weeks, the remaining money, if any, will go towards hiring an assistant a few hours a week to help me organize my home, and with daily living skills such as taking out the garbage, laundry, etc., things that I might have taken for granted.

If I raise $5,200 through your generosity and mercy, you will be giving me the gift of life. Without your help, I like many other older, single women, who through no fault of our own, my own, won't be able to access the medical care I need. At some point sooner rather than later, I'll have to face my mortality, and the likelihood of poverty and homelessness at the same time.

Without your help, in the next couple of weeks (literally) I'll be forced to choose between medical intervention for my heart, keeping my apartment and my car, and my ability to continue working and helping my clients and future clients. I know I'm asking a lot and I know the amount is the very minimum. If I need surgery and a longer recovery time, I may create another GoFundMe.

With a healthier heart, I can work and lift myself back up out of poverty. I cannot do that without your help. Some helpful folks suggested I share details of how I can work more once my health is stabilized. I could do that and right now I don't want to ask for your help if I'm not able to get the medical care I need. I would have no need for it as I would no longer be working. I'll simply be making the best out of the time I have left on this earth. That's not hyperboly. That's realty. My reality. In the last 3 years, I lost both of my brothers. And in the words of the 10th Dr. Who, "I don't want to go..."

I'll try to make a video to show to you that my physical struggle is real. And I will share with you an image from my smart watch that I do go into AFib.

Thank you in advance for your kindness and generosity.

Lynn