English:

My name is Symen. I was sober for 4.5 years. Addiction is a nasty stubborn disease. Which I thought I had mastered after all those years!! I have been in a serious depression for the past few months. And not daring to ask for help, from the right people. Because talking openly about depression and my addiction was not an option in my confused head. Shame takes over, because who likes to hang their dirty laundry in public. Drinking became my best friend again instead of the real people around me. The damage that my addiction has caused again is not only in the material sense. The trust that I have built up with my loved one in recent years has been destroyed again in one fell swoop by my personal. Just like with my parents instead of talking to fellow human beings from AA I sought peace in the bottles. Drinking is a stealth killer that is always around the corner. At the moment I have lost everything because of my addiction. House, work, family and my precious belongings. I have to start from scratch again. I am currently in a Detox, followed by a very strict Rehab clinic. I started this because I am at my wits' end. And the shame is over. so that I can pay off my debts. I am starting from scratch again. I also have to buy everything again in terms of furniture, clothing, etc. I want to donate the remaining money to groups that support young people who suffer from addiction problems. And self-help books for the parents of the children, because often no help is offered for that.