Miki and Arnina care for their mother - 2021
Donation protected
Dear friends,
Last year, we turned to our friends and students for the first time ever to help us shoulder the enormous financial burdens of caring for our mother.
The response was overwhelming. People from all over the world sent us both money and encouragement. We made it through the year.
This was a year of transition. We had been talking for a long time about bringing in someone to be a full-time caregiver. This transition was completed in 2020, in the midst of pandemic and much uncertainty. In the last few weeks of the year, the government also finally recognized her deteriorating status, and approved an increase in government support for the expenses. At the same time, the exchange rate has shifted, making money coming from abroad yield less support in Israeli currency.
The picture we chose this time is from 2019, shortly after her 90th birthday, already quite compromised, shortly after one of her falls, when she broke her ankle. Risk of falling, and growing confusion, are the main reasons why she needs constant care. The loss of dignity and autonomy wear on her, her housemate, the caregiver, and Arnina.
Our 2020 fundraiser carried us through the year. Although we didn't raise the full amount that we asked for last year, we were able to cover the rest of it because Miki's expenses went down after she left the US and she was able to give more. This increased capacity continues for now this year, though remains uncertain given Miki's vagabonding status. At the same time, we have lost some contributions outside this campaign that we were relying on in previous years.
The net result is that we anticipate needing, for the entire year, in the range of $12,000: about $1,000 every month to cover expenses that are beyond our means and which are entirely necessary for her to survive. We don't know how long she has, we don't know anything about the future that we, two, have, either. This is a rough estimate which we plan to update throughout the year, as it may go up if our estimates are too low, and it also may go down, and we may need less (in which case we can begin the following year with less need). It's truly impossible to know.
The rest of this is mostly copied from last year, as the fundamental picture hasn't changed much.
Short of taking on debt, we have no other way to pay for the extra costs that, even after government participation, attendant care costs; not to mention the ongoing stream of "unexpected" expenses that, by now, are already expected. It's really devastating to grasp how poorly the current systems work to support older people.
This is just for care for her on the most basic material plane. In addition, Arnina is crumbling under the weight of all the phone calls, appointment setting, scheduling people, dealing with so many small fires to put out, talking to social workers, providers, and others, and supporting the caregiver, as the deteriorating dementia is extremely demanding, day and night. It's entirely unsustainable and, ideally, we would be able to hire someone to support Arnina with this, which would cost probably another $5,000 a year. We are not including this in the total amount, because we can continue to absorb this cost. It's just really really hard.
We are still deeply moved by the support we got last year, and we are hopeful that despite the pandemic and its dramatic impact on the economic capacity of many, the many people know us and love us will be able to generate, together, enough for this year. We are grateful for any amount you can give.
With gratitude,
Miki and Arnina
Last year, we turned to our friends and students for the first time ever to help us shoulder the enormous financial burdens of caring for our mother.
The response was overwhelming. People from all over the world sent us both money and encouragement. We made it through the year.
This was a year of transition. We had been talking for a long time about bringing in someone to be a full-time caregiver. This transition was completed in 2020, in the midst of pandemic and much uncertainty. In the last few weeks of the year, the government also finally recognized her deteriorating status, and approved an increase in government support for the expenses. At the same time, the exchange rate has shifted, making money coming from abroad yield less support in Israeli currency.
The picture we chose this time is from 2019, shortly after her 90th birthday, already quite compromised, shortly after one of her falls, when she broke her ankle. Risk of falling, and growing confusion, are the main reasons why she needs constant care. The loss of dignity and autonomy wear on her, her housemate, the caregiver, and Arnina.
Our 2020 fundraiser carried us through the year. Although we didn't raise the full amount that we asked for last year, we were able to cover the rest of it because Miki's expenses went down after she left the US and she was able to give more. This increased capacity continues for now this year, though remains uncertain given Miki's vagabonding status. At the same time, we have lost some contributions outside this campaign that we were relying on in previous years.
The net result is that we anticipate needing, for the entire year, in the range of $12,000: about $1,000 every month to cover expenses that are beyond our means and which are entirely necessary for her to survive. We don't know how long she has, we don't know anything about the future that we, two, have, either. This is a rough estimate which we plan to update throughout the year, as it may go up if our estimates are too low, and it also may go down, and we may need less (in which case we can begin the following year with less need). It's truly impossible to know.
The rest of this is mostly copied from last year, as the fundamental picture hasn't changed much.
Short of taking on debt, we have no other way to pay for the extra costs that, even after government participation, attendant care costs; not to mention the ongoing stream of "unexpected" expenses that, by now, are already expected. It's really devastating to grasp how poorly the current systems work to support older people.
This is just for care for her on the most basic material plane. In addition, Arnina is crumbling under the weight of all the phone calls, appointment setting, scheduling people, dealing with so many small fires to put out, talking to social workers, providers, and others, and supporting the caregiver, as the deteriorating dementia is extremely demanding, day and night. It's entirely unsustainable and, ideally, we would be able to hire someone to support Arnina with this, which would cost probably another $5,000 a year. We are not including this in the total amount, because we can continue to absorb this cost. It's just really really hard.
We are still deeply moved by the support we got last year, and we are hopeful that despite the pandemic and its dramatic impact on the economic capacity of many, the many people know us and love us will be able to generate, together, enough for this year. We are grateful for any amount you can give.
With gratitude,
Miki and Arnina
Organizer
miki kashtan
Organizer
Oakland, CA
