Mike & Matt Take On Cancer, Together

In early July, we were told what you never want to here, Mr. LeMasters you have cancer. As my head began to spin the one thing that kept popping in was "we were too young to have this news, Mike is only 46" "why?, what did we do to be given this life threatening news" "I don't want to lose my husband, we still have much more to live for". But yet, here we were finding ourselves sitting in front of the doctor being told Mike has Stage II pancreatic cancer. Pancreatic cancer is a rarity for his age nearly all patients are older than 55. About two-thirds are at least 65 years old and the average age at the time of diagnosis is 71.

We have been fortunate in some regards. Mike qualified for what is known as the Whipple procedure where they will remove part of the pancreas that contains the tumor. It increases the potential life expectancy by double digits. But that is relative when life expectancy at diagnosis is only 6-18% to begin with. Within weeks we were in the hospital ready to embark on the 10-hour surgical journey. It is a painful surgery and one that only performed at major medical institutions. The surgery was successful however very painful for Mike. For me the pain came as I stayed with him  day and night being his advocate but suffering right along with him as we couldn't get his pain controlled till about the 4th day. 

Toward the end of our stay at the hospital we naively were expecting it all to be over that we had triumphed that is until they tell you that to achieve over 50% chance of life expectancy by 5 years you need to do chemotherapy. You see, pancreatic cancer is a killer. Pancreatic cancer is the fourth most common cause of cancer death in the US and across the rest of the world and accounts for 6% of such deaths. To me it is a more deadly cancer because the condition has a poor prognosis when compared to other cancers at all stages and only 6% of cases survive past five years. That’s right, only 6%.

Chemo, just saying the word and it makes me cringe because I watch every week at what it does to him. It is a long and hellish road, one I would not wish on the worst person in the world. Every week we go in for what is about a 3 hour visit, they hook Mike up via his port in his chest and push fluid and the toxic chemotherapy in him so that we have a better chance for his survival.

We have certainly been more fortunate than others. Mike worked for the University of Maryland who have also been his medical team. They have given him top notch care and our insurance has been wonderful (and we know the horror stories with insurance). We have also a tremendous network. The flood of love and support from our friends has been nothing short of amazing and our families have been our rocks and with us every step of the way.

But the toll that cancer brings is like being in a dingy during a tsunami. It is unrelenting, cruel and thrashes you about with no care in the world. 

Since diagnosis Mike has had to go on disability, as most chemotherapy patients are forced to do, which has shorted our income, particularly as I embarked on a search for a new position. In the course of the last 6 months, cancer has taken a lot from us. The ability to spend time with family and friends (after you have chemo, the last thing you want to do is go out), quality time outside of hospital just with each other, Mike sleeps a lot now cause the chemo just drains you and we have to be careful so he doesn't get sick and we have completely exhausted our savings resulting in us borrowing money from family.  

The emotional drain of cancer and chemotherapy is real and all encompassing, not to mention the financial drain. 

I have spent my entire career fighting for and advocating for others. For the better part of a decade I have been in the trenches fighting for LGBT equality, most recently for those LGBT individuals serving and who have served in the United State Armed Forces. I know how to battle, but sometimes we need help in our fights even when they are the most personal. We need an army right now. Getting to 5 years is our goal. We want to beat the odds that are constantly pointed out to us by medical professionals. We hope you will consider joining us. 

We are optimistic in our fight and in what 2019 will bring us but when they say it takes a village, it isn't just about kids. As the bills, co-pays pile up and until I go back to work a little help we just need a little help to get us to our finish line.  We are determined to be cancer free and beat this. 

Thank you in advance for reading this and hearing our story. 

-Matt
Mike's Husband


For those who don’t know Mike or I. We will be married for 7 years in April. We met on match.com which to me is so ironic as I see those commercials every second on the television and we’ve become one of their success stories. We had our first date at a sushi restaurant, which he hates (the sushi that is). He never said anything because he wanted to on the date and let me pick (I love sushi). He is my opposite (totally and completely) but I just fell in love with him that night. He was respectful, calm, listened and his eyes just showed that he cared. Well I didn’t hear from him for like 2 weeks after that night (and I thought it went well), so I emailed him and about a day later I got an email back. It was about a page long and he said that he didn’t feel like he was enough for me, that I had these large goals and aspirations and he didn’t want to hold me back. Well, I was hooked at that point. Someone who was so worried about my future from the first date, I knew he was the one. He proposed 6 months later. Obviously, I said yes and we have been in every trench and a top every mountain together ever since.


Mike’s love for his family is unconditional (pictured above with his mom and sister). They have been intertwined with my family as well. The LeMasters are the most loving, caring and heartfelt family and Mike has definitely inherited that quality. We are a small but might family and our love for each other is not matched.


Our niece and nephew are our pride and joy. Jackson and Maddy are growing up to be amazing individuals. The love, compassion and care they exude to the world is what you want every child to have and to experience in their lives. We are blessed to have them in our lives. From the accomplished athletes they are to their intelligence, we couldn’t be more grateful for them. They are the apples of our affection every single day.


Our furbabies are the center of our life. We have 4 in total. 3 rescued Chihuahuas and a black lab. Carla, Tonkey, Yankee and Joey (pictured here). The pups are the greatest cause they love us unconditionally, instinctively know when we have had a rough day, share in our joy and are just good babies. When Mike was in the hospital and at his parents recovering from surgery, they knew something was off and they have known ever since. They cling to Mike like you would never believe. They have been a steadying force in our lives as we tackle this cancer.


When you hear the saying “it takes a village” that village is certainly our friends. They have been with us every step of the way. They’ll text and call when you most need it. We couldn’t have lucked out with better friends and we are immensely grateful.


Thank you for reading a little bit about our story. If you would like to know more please don't hesitate to email me. We are grateful

#TeamMattandMike #MikeandMattKickCancer #KissMyPancreass #FckCancer