Under normal circumstances, I enjoy using words to express how I feel, and to make others share that feeling.

I also believe in the power of vulnerability and its ability to remove fear and connect us.

Unfortunately, I have dreaded writing the following words but time requires it of me now.

I feel as though it’s time to share this as many of you have seen less of me at many public functions.

Some of you saw social media post about my visits to the ER a couple of times over the last few months.

The first visit was for my panic disorder and that visit was fairly routine.

However, the second visit was due to a discoloration in my urine.

I wasn’t overly concerned because I felt okay but knew I needed to get to the ER.

When I got to the hospital the initial feeling was that It was due to strenuous exercise which would have made sense with the nature of my work.

But testing escalated to rule things out and unfortunately it did the opposite.

Imagining showed a mass on my kidney.

More testing and imaging was done which showed a lesion on my liver as well.

A biopsy was performed and that confirmed a fear that I didn’t know I even had.

Cancer.

It is devastating to hear something is wrong on the inside of you, especially when you feel so good physically.

But here we are.

The last few weeks have been the absolute most difficult of an already difficult life. Which I didn’t think was possible.

I’ve continued with my tennis lessons, break the silence event planning, and showing up for my family and community on the outside.

But on the inside anger, disappointment, shock, and fear are all encompassing.

I don’t fully understand how this is even real.

The thought of not being here for my kids and family as I always have is crushing enough to bring me to my knees.

Today we had to sit my eldest daughter down and explain what was happening to me. I’ve always been the person to wipe away her tears- but today I was the cause of them.

Since I don’t have any control to undo this my only option is to press on.

What I do know is that I need immediate and aggressive treatment. That treatment starts this week.

It is likely that removing my kidney will be necessary and that was confirmed last week.

The cost of all the medical stays and what’s to come is staggering.

If you would like to help me in this fight I could use your financial support with treatment, obvious time off, medial bills I’ve accumulated, and the other care associated with this unpredictable battle.

I would expect a great many of you may reach out to us and I’m grateful for that.

Please be patient with us and our response times. To say we are overwhelmed would be an understatement.

I would kindly ask that no one approach Bella with this subject. Even in this difficult time, as a father, I need to make sure her mental health is fully cared for and prioritized.

I’m eternally grateful for my wife and family who has had to be strong on days that I could hardly get out of bed let alone be of any help at home.

In the meantime, and as long I’m able, I’m going to continue on with the work I feel God has purposed me to do.

Thank you,

Marcus