Sophie Bella's Story: Lighting her Path to NICU Recovery

My name is Deborah Cook and I am fundraising for my daughter & daughter-in-law, and granddaughter; Mercedes, Nicole and Sophie Bella McLaughlin. After their 3-year fertility journey, they self-financed at over $30,000 due to lack of fertility insurance coverage, Mercedes had become joyously pregnant and then on April 18, our families lives took an unexpected turn with the arrival of our beloved Sophie Bella. Born at just 23.4 weeks,17 weeks premature, her entrance into the world was met with a mix of love & fear. Weighing only 15.5 ounces, her journey began in uncertainty, her tiny body facing monumental challenges from the very start. Pre-mature labor was caused by a placental infection, with symptoms being dismissed by a provider.

Mercedes labored and delivered at home, and upon EMT arrival Sophie Bella was kept breathing due “bagging” (Bag-valve-mask (BVM)), where she was immediately intubated, and then needed resuscitation in the ER, and Mercedes lost extreme blood amounts, is currently still highly anemic due to blood loss, had two attempt to manually remove placenta, and then went to emergency surgery to remove the placenta. As we navigate unknown waters, our family is confronted with the stark reality of her fragile condition. The medical terms categorize her as an extreme nano preemie, a label that underscores the delicate balance between faith & fear that defines each moment. Thus far in her life she has faced two pneumo-thoraxes with two chest tubes, one being placed twice, an Patent ductus arteriosus (PDA), Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus epidermidis (MRSE), skin breakdown, renal insufficiency/oliguria, Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus (MRSA) Pneumonia, Respiratory Arrest, Metabolic Acidosis, Metabolic alkalosis, Sepsis, Respiratory distress syndrome, Pericardial Infusion, Apnea of prematurity, agitation requiring sedation, Leukocytosis, Anemia, Germinal matrix hemorrhage, and extreme low birth weight. In the process she has also been intubated several times to remain on a ventilator, accidently been extubated and emergency reintubation.

Yet, within her small body lies a spirit of resilience that defies all odds—a testament to the strength of the human spirit in its purest form. Our world has been engulfed in a whirlwind of emotions in the wake of her birth. The trauma of laboring & delivering at home, coupled with the overwhelming uncertainty of her prognosis, has left the parents and our family grappling with many emotions.

But amid the chaos, there are glimmers of faith and beacons of light illuminating the path forward. At this moment she is still critical as we continue to support her fragile development. With the gift of each day likely leaning towards 110+ day stay in the NICU. But through it all, we hold onto faith, and belief that miracles are possible, even in the face of adversity.

Together, let us rally around Sophie Bella, and shower her with prayers, love & unending support. For in the darkest of moments, it is love that will light the way forward. Thank you for standing by our side.

USE OF SUPPORT AND PLANNED BUDGETING

The support you give will be to help with any medical or financial and all unforeseen events that may occur in the future as we navigate to providing her the best care in the current environment, as her parents continue to stay by her side. Mercedes and Nicole planned to Attachment Parent with Sophie Bella had she been a typical child. In this unique situation Nicole and Mercedes have been told countless times that parents who are at the hospital around the clock typically leave the hospital WITH their child. They are doing everything they can to insure their support in supporting medical staff and parenting. Mercedes is pumping breastmilk every 2 hours, as it has been indicated one of the best protective factors for Sophies development. Mercedes due to Sophie Bella’s prematurity is producing a ¼ of the milk needed for when Sophie Bella is full term, which she needed to start achieving by 2 weeks after birth, but remains steadfast as her supply increases slowly and incrementally. They have been active (as medically recommended) in daily rounds with medical team, at each care time (when Sophie is cared for (diaper changes, feedings, when tests ran/blood taken, position moves, temperature, bedding changes, caring for her wounds)) and staff have stated increased positive response to having parents touch during this time, and available to kangaroo daily when medically advised (medical skin to skin touch which helps improve babies vital signs, and temperature regulation), and have been working to maintain their own mental and physical health with the help of their immediate friends, family, and community to insure their mental and physical health is as optimal in this unprecedented time to be able to continue to support Sophie Bella’s growth and development.

The requested funds will be used for the following: to help cover substantial lost income associated with engagement with Sophie Bella’s care through Nicole’s lost income when she takes 12 weeks unpaid FMLA and 30 day unpaid personal leave, and Mercedes lost income while she is in a hybrid maternity leave working ¼ of normal hours, (but still needing to maintain some hours to run her small business and have income coming in and to prepare for Sophie Bella’s Arrival home when she will still be a new born, and require around the clock care at baseline, possibly increased medical need care development/NICU stay dependent). Lost income funds will be used to cover mortgage payments, utility bills, car payment, current active student loans and student once they resume (some were deferred while in this Emergency situation for 2 months), food, Mercedes and Nicoles routine and emergent medical care and ongoing care for their pets. To prepare for Sophie Bellas arrival home with purchases for any newborn items needed not obtained through baby shower/support or possible medical equipment/services. If Mercedes is unable to produce adequate milk volume by the time Sophie Bella is at full nourishment volume for milk, they will also be purchasing donor milk, as its been reported the hospital will not offer donor milk after 34 weeks gestation due to funding issues.

Nicole and Mercedes vulnerably allowed me to create this page on their behalf to ask for local community support and national support in order to be supported in making that would increase protective factors for Sophie Bella’s care now in the NICU, and upon arrival home. Mercedes and Nicole are incredibly intentional people, and want their daughter to know they did everything in their power, with the knowledge they had, to offer her every chance at healing, safety, and an ability to return to the very home she was born in. If you have ever met Nicole and Mercedes you know they are extremely grateful, kind, caring and considerate people. They have been emotional at the support they have received thus far, and want to respect each individual that has supported in their own way, and were cautious to create this page (after much encouragement from many friends and family) because they honor and respect challenges in so many others lives.

BACKGROUND INFORMATION OF PARENTS

Mercedes and Nicole are vibrant participants in Wilmington's LGBTQIA+ community. Together they are actively involved in the local LGBTQIA+ league at Stonewall Sports. They are often supporters/attendees at many social justice rallies/marches and Mercedes has spoken/performed spoken words at social justice rallies. They are active members in their church the Unitarian Universalist Congregation of Wilmington. They are both Religious Education (Sunday school volunteers). Mercedes in leadership (temporarily resigned due to current circumstances) through the Committee For Ministry, and has led several sermons, including the most recent Easter sermon, and they both are in other church subcommittees. Nicole has worked in the Wilmington community as Rack Room Shoes manager where she has championed creating an inclusive work environment with diverse staff including advocating for the hiring and retention of neuro-divergent individuals. Mercedes, is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker and owner/therapist of Moonstone Ballast Therapy and Wholeness, Wilmington’s first Queer and BIPOC owned holistic therapy practice. Moonstone Ballast works to support LGBTQIA+ and BIPOC individuals throughout the community and state through mental wholeness services, as well as providing services to all individuals seeking support of their mental health through services that help alignment of their mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, community, and nature-integrational health. Mercedes herself also holds a Maternal Mental Health specialty through Post-Partum Support International and is acutely aware of the research that affects all parents, and the factors that may have affected her own symptoms being dismissed. Mercedes is also affiliated with the University of North Carolina at Wilmington as a field instructor for the school of social work, and throughout her career has helped train and support the development of future clinical social workers. As well as has been (temporarily resigned due to circumstances) a Chapter Advisory Board (CAB) Member for Kappa Delta Sorority Theta Xi serving in the role of CAB Inclusion (DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion support, and supporting with accountability and support). Mercedes also is a member and contributor to the Junior League of Wilmington serving (temporarily resigned due to circumstances) as the League Photographer on the Public Relations Committee, and Community Impact Committee. Mercedes also offers professional photography, on a part time basis, through Little Locklear Photography, where she offers equitable pricing, as well as sliding scale photography services in order to help ensure families milestones are documented despite financial barriers. Mercedes and Nicole have lived a self actualized life of service to others, their community, their faith, and love of humanity. It is our time to support them in their parenting journey so they may support the healing of their daughter, while not facing irreparable consequences due to lost income.

STATEMENT OF GRATITUDE FROM PARENTS

Mercedes and Nicole want everyone to know: “We are beyond grateful to have our daughter here, to be able to love and parent her in the ways we can. We are grateful for our community locally and nationally, friends and family. We honor all support given whether financial, emotional, tangible items, letters/cards, and all the love. We know that we all live in precarious times, and we all do our best each day to try to thrive in our world. We acknowledge and honor every single act of generosity. We are humbled by the gravity of this situation, the despair coupled with faith we have felt, and to be in a community and NICU hospital that can sustain, support, and help heal/develop our sweet Sophie Bella. This vulnerability to ask for support is challenging, and as those who are often the helpers it is quite the role reversal. We rest assured in our faith in God and the universe, humanity, love, and faith that this journey will develop for our highest good, our child’s highest good. We ground in each precarious and precious moment, and look forward towards the future to Sophie Bellas healing, and we can once again pour into our community and world, with a new area for advocation, each miraculous NICU warrior and their families. We had limited frame of reference for NICU journeys, and no frame of reference for extreme nano pre-emies, and have seen unchartered human suffering and unchartered human love and sacrifice throughout the journey. We honor and inspired by words from Cloud Atlas that our lives our not our own, that we are bound to each other from womb to tomb, and through our actions and kindness we birth our future. We thank you for your kindness to help our families and Sophie Bella’s future development.”

Links to their baby registry and GiveinKind page

Give In Kind

Baby Registry