My spouse was my life partner and best friend. She dedicated her life to helping others as a social worker, working for several non-profits and touching countless lives in our community. Her compassion, strength, and unwavering commitment to those in need made her a beacon of hope for so many. Losing her has been incredibly difficult, and I am now faced with the challenge of honoring her memory while navigating the practical realities of her passing.

I am raising funds to help cover the costs of a memorial service for her and all the friends and colleagues who worked alongside her in the non-profit sector. I also need support for her cremation and burial, so she can rest with her mother at Lodi Cherokee Memorial. In addition, there are living and moving expenses as I get her things in order and prepare to move out of our apartment. Your support will help me give her the tribute she deserves and ease the burden during this transition.

Thank you to all the social workers who are on the front lines every day but don't get recognition. Your kindness and dedication inspire me, and I am grateful for any help and support during this difficult time.

Here's her obituary:

Sarah Elizabeth Cassese

July 4, 1989 – May 2, 2026

Sarah was born to Karen Cassese from Lodi in 1989. Her birth was a bit complicated. Her mother had medical issues that kept her in the hospital for several days. Sarah would later joke that because of the long process at San Joaquin County Hospital, she ended up being born on America’s birthday. She never saw the Tom Cruise film (Born on the Fourth of July). What bothered her was that anytime she had to give her birthday, people would always point out that it fell on the Fourth of July. For about twenty years of her adult life, she heard “Oh, so you get fireworks on your birthday every year” countless times and would politely give a fake laugh.

Sarah was a fairly quiet young person. In elementary school in Lodi, teachers would often seat her next to another student who became her best friend, Farah. The teachers thought the “F” was a typo and intended to seat two Sarahs together, assuming they would become friends. They were right, just not in the way they expected. Farah went on to become a medical doctor with UC Davis, married another doctor, and recently had a baby. Sadly, Sarah passed away before she could meet her best friend’s child.

She attended Lodi High School and never got into trouble. For one semester, she was assigned to assist the school librarian for several periods each day. She did not truly come out of her shell until her twenties. Sarah completed her undergraduate studies at the University of the Pacific and went on to earn her Master of Social Work at CSU Stanislaus. An MSW, if you know, you know.

She dedicated her life to helping others. She worked for DaVita Dialysis as a caseworker for patients experiencing kidney failure and also worked for PACE, the Program of All-Inclusive Care for the Elderly.

While caring for her mother and working for PACE, Sarah faced the difficult realities of that work. Too often, she had to contact the Sheriff’s Department to open the doors of elderly clients who had passed away. She would then write obituaries and contact their families.

The emotional toll became overwhelming, especially after her mother Karen passed away from COVID in 2022. Sarah’s final role as a social worker was with the nonprofit Friends Outside, that helps individuals transition back into society after incarceration. Sarah worked at the visitors center at the Stockton Hospital Prison. Not only does Friends Outside help people who deal with being incarcerated but they also provide help to their families.

Just a few weeks before the COVID pandemic began in California, Sarah met her life partner and best friend, Jacob Tyler. Their first date was spent bar hopping along Miracle Mile. Within days, everything shut down. The early years of their relationship were unique. With everything closed, they would pick up food and have picnics at places like Lodi Lake. After a year of dating, they wanted to move in together, but Sarah needed to care for her mother. Instead, they stayed in extended stay hotels for several days at a time, using the kitchenettes to experience what living together might feel like.

In January 2022, Sarah texted that her mother had contracted COVID and was going to the emergency room. After two days of silence, she arrived at Jacob’s apartment. It was immediately clear that her mother had passed quickly due to preexisting conditions. From that moment, they both understood the depth and importance of their relationship. In the years that followed, Sarah often reflected on how she could not have gotten through that time without the support of a partner. It was a period when daily news reports counted the lives lost, and they often thought about how many people were facing such losses alone. Sarah was able to immediately move into her boyfriends house so she didn't have to go through it by herself with her mother having been her last close blood relative.

Any obituary for someone in their mid-thirties carries sadness, but Sarah experienced many beautiful moments in her life. She was afraid of flying and only flew once, to Seattle, but anywhere within driving distance became an adventure once California reopened. They visited museums, theme parks, beaches, concerts, comedy shows, and sporting events.

Her favorite comedian was John Mulaney, whom she saw twice. She attended concerts featuring Sabrina Carpenter and Olivia Rodrigo at the Kia Forum. She saw Dave Chappelle and Chris Rock perform together at the Golden One Center and watched the Warriors play the Kings in the first round of the playoffs.

They frequently visited Santa Clara for events at Levi’s Stadium, including many 49ers games. She also attended a Beyoncé concert with a friend. One of the highlights of her life was attending Taylor Swift’s Eras Tour. Sarah often pointed out that she was born the same year as Swift, which made her feel a special connection to the music. After waiting online all day, she was able to secure tickets.

The experience lived up to every expectation. It was a magical night, especially for someone who had been a Swiftie her entire life. Seeing Taylor Swift perform felt unforgettable, surrounded by a hundred thousand fans who knew every word, wearing light-up bracelets synchronized with the music. The only thing that could have made the night better would have been bringing their beloved doodle, Lola.

During a trip to Los Angeles, they received an email inviting them to attend a live taping of Jimmy Kimmel Live. They were seated in the front row, just feet away from Jimmy Kimmel and his guest that night, Sarah Silverman. It was both exciting and a little intimidating.

Though she loved many people deeply, the true loves of her life were her cat Kiki and their puppy, Lola Bear. Sarah had never had a dog before, and Lola quickly became the center of their lives. She loved dressing Lola up for holidays and taking photos. Dog outfits and toys became a regular Amazon delivery, and she enjoyed creating funny AI-generated images of Lola.

Kiki, on the other hand, refused to cooperate with costumes or photos, but technology eventually gave Sarah a way to imagine those moments.

Her daily routine after work included spending time with Lola, grooming her, and removing what she affectionately called “eye boogies.” She would also treat Kiki to a small package of Friskies Lil Soups, a highlight of the cat’s day. Sarah enjoyed watching television, especially shows like Severance, Euphoria, Late Night with Seth Meyers, The Office, Bob’s Burgers, and Parks and Recreation, which she watched repeatedly.

She witnessed countless beautiful sunsets across California. Watching the sunset over the Golden Gate Bridge became a regular joy. A trip to San Diego introduced her to Balboa Park, which she considered one of the most beautiful places she had ever seen.

Sarah loved food, though she avoided anything spicy. She enjoyed seafood, Asian-style noodles, and simple comfort foods like milk and bread. She even had a shorthand text message, “DWNABM,” meaning “Do we need anything besides milk,” often sent before stopping for a bit of retail therapy. Her favorite food was the cheesy bread from Little Caesars, which she insisted was superior because it resembled focaccia.

Her passing also serves as a reminder. Diabetes is one of the leading causes of death worldwide and must be taken seriously. When the body stops producing insulin and other factors are involved, conditions such as ketoacidosis can develop and lead to cardiac arrest. Following medical advice, taking prescribed insulin, and making necessary lifestyle changes are critical.

Sarah passed away peacefully in her sleep. She did not have children, sparing a child from the pain of such a loss. Her beloved pets may simply think she is away for a while. Lola remains with her father, while Kiki, always a bit anxious from her early life, may struggle more with the absence.

One of the blessings of modern life is the ability to preserve memories. Unlike past generations who relied on film, Sarah’s life is documented in thousands of digital photos and videos safely stored in the cloud. These images ensure that her memory will endure.

Sarah was not someone who posted daily selfies, but she loved capturing moments and the people she cared about. In that way, she lives on through the memories she created and the love she gave.