Growing up as a child, in my teens and into adult / fatherhood, I always suspected I had (various) mental health issues, however, none of my elders or educators could notice. Social situations always unnerved me, the thought of going to an occasion full of people made my intenstines knotted, meeting the outdoors meant armpit persperation, even at pre-teen age.
It only hit me hard when my step-father passed away on St. Patrick's Day '17, I noticed a significant change in myself, my behaviour and more to the point, my mental ability / processing. I became (increasingly) depressed, couldn't get out of bed for about 8 weeks, when I'm usually up like a whippet and at my PC looking for an excuse to create for my then, home business. All this while dealing with repetitive family court cases for the 14-year fight for my daughter to be in my life and trying to deal with the probatiuonary period of a new full-time job as an SEN Support Worker (for 6 non-verbal Autistic men).
Moreover, finally homeswapping after 2 years of trying, from Surrey back to my birthplace of Huddersfield, then being abandoned due to family betrayal / rejection (due to ignorance) by both immediate and newly discovered family through over 10 years of genealogy work, a myriad of compiled physical, psychological, financial and emotional pain, as well as the very late discovery of ASD / OCD / ADHD traits in my 40's, and now severe anxiety, depression with a recent diagnosis of Small Nerve Neuropathy (nerve pain), then dealing with Police and public service matters / complaints...has lead me to be increasingly suicidal since March '19, with an attempt on my life in November '19 and a Police interception on New Years Eve. Business assets being wrongfully seized, meaning no more home creative outlet...that was until I found a mental health course at Recovery College , (depsite being cut short due to the pandemic) giving me the perfect opportunity to honour my late step-father.
'Ace of Spades' Mirror
So the plan was to make a large piece; immoratilising my stepfather's memory by turning him into the King of Spades, as he was notorious for his successful gambling in cards & dominoes - but for the short course time, I decided to make the above, which featured July's edition of the college's newsletter, a functional piece until I was able to embark on the following (22 x 35")...
'The Stepfather of Spades' - Incomplete & Censored
...I plan on finishing the piece off with a sheet of perspex / acrylic, then it can be converted into a gaming table top - keeping the functional theme I'd like to dominate my mosaic work, just like the mirror.
MY OWN PATHWAY...
Realising my creative outlets were extremely limited, I did begin getting stuck back into my sci-fantasy writing and character creation / development, but then that eventually got too complex for my mind to fathom, with all the back stories, relationship crossovers and story arcs over decades of their lives. Finding the new addiction to mosaicking, it then dawned on me that this would make a great story of turning grief / bereavement into mental wellbeing / recovery and something for others (in similar dilemmas) to be inspired by, therefore attempting to turn this new hobby into a business that helps the community.
WHO WILL BENEFIT?
The idea for Memosaics (a portmanteau of 'Memorial' and 'Mosaics') for those who wish to have a creative keepsake, a piece of custom art fit for a shrine, while I attempt to build mutually beneficial relationships with DJ Screen & Sons (franchising) and Recovery College (agreed profit percentage donated to creative courses). Not to mention, giving back to the companies who provided me with stocks of mosaics and tiles of various kinds, which kickstarted my new hobby (by perchasing from them only where possible).
WHERE WILL MY FUNDS GO / HOW SOON DO I NEED THEM?
Being on U.C. means I live from hand-to-mouth, I actually have a Debt Relief Order and it will end in January 2021, which means all the creditors I owe money to, will start flooding my letterbox once again. So far, I've invested over £300 myself, buying the odd item here and there upon each monthly benefit payment, but now I'm feeling the strain again as I'm having to receive food parcels. Those kind enough to donate to my cause and business idea, can rest assured my funds will go where they need to. I have researched and compiled a list of equpiment, stock and materials that I'll need to fulfil successful orders of various kinds, and that will complement what I already have access to, all below figures are for minimum quantities (except the cards & flyers, if I were to order 500, it would cost less than £10 more):
50 x Promotional Call Cards & Flyers p/quarter: £160
Mosaic Stock (Micro): £216.30
Mosaic Equipment & Electrical Tools: £116.82
A3 Printer: £100.98
20 x Jewellery Gift Boxes: £18.80
1 x Misc Selected Mixed Wilko Frames (various styles & sizes): £70.49
WHAT YOUR SUPPORT WILL MEAN TO ME
Despite not being totally free of my suicidal tendencies, I'm not going to guilt-trip anyone with the age-old cliché of "it's a matter of life or death", but receiving even half the necessary amount would mean I could at least continue to invest in my proposed business at a faster pace than on my own.
Each and every person who donates £15 - £24 will receive a custom piece from my 'Light-Hearted' Collection, the more fun, jovial and geeky side of the business idea, which includes the new custom handmade filo clay jewellery (earrings & bracelets) and custom mosaicked frames. The kinds of themes I wish to use in my brand are things like Marvel & DC, Gaming, Middle Earth, Martial Arts, Science Fiction, etc.
Anyone who donates £25 - £50 will be offered a custom 300mm x 300mm mosaic. The reason for this update, is because I realised people are just trying to survive in this pandemic and so have less disposable income, so I've had to rethink ways to make things simpler and cheaper, by focusing on frames & jewellery which can be turned around relatively quickly in compared to various sized mosaics.
I will keep you all updated as to the progress of my business plan and of your individual gifts.
My Sincerest Gratitude in Advance! :D
- Emma Al-Jumaili
- Cheryl Parsons
- Sue Fenton
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