Medical & Financial Help for Acute Illness
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This is a very, very vulnerable post and a desperate ask for help from our community.
I have been extremely ill since the beginning of February. It is typically really hard for me to ask for help because I am such a strong and independent spirit, but now it's time for me to ask for help.
It's hard to explain what is happening to me and my body because I have yet to find a medical explanation. In January, I was finally completing my healing journey, which took about 3 years to heal from various health issues. I had done it and I was so, so proud. Because of severe digestive issues and food intolerances, I had only been eating about eight hundred to maybe twelve hundred calories per day. It caused my period to fizzle out and my breasts to shrink. Now that I had healed my digestive system and food intolerances I was so excited to start eating the proper amount of calories and finally move into abundant, radiant health!!
I didn't know that it was very bad to increase your calories significantly after being restricted for so long. I jumped up to 2000 a day overnight and sustained it for a few days. In those few days, I had an episode where my entire body went numb, I almost blacked out, my hearing and vision went out. I thought I was about to drop dead. This is when I found out about "refeeding syndrome". It's an electrolyte imbalance that happens to people who restrict their eating and then increase their food rapidly and it can be fatal. It's a very, very serious condition.
I immediately went to the dr. She checked my levels and said I was fine and to keep doing what I was doing. I thought that was odd, and I KNEW in my soul, something was up with the increase in food, but instead of listening to myself, I relied on the dr's advice. I dropped my calories down to about fourteen to fifteen hundred per day and kept going.
Soon after, I became more ill. Feeling like I was going to faint or blackout all day long. Then, very weirdly, over a week, my breasts shrunk half the size. I knew something not right was happening but I kept going, thinking that this would pass at some point and that my body was just readjusting. During this time, I had started the Sex Coach Headquarters Virtual Office and even some of the girls Andrea and Marianne were keeping an eye on me incase I were to pass out. Then, I started having increasingly scary things happening, like episodes of what seemed like hypoglycemia - tongue, lips, arms and legs going numb, the room spinning, slurring my speech.
I decided to start working with a registered dietician. I wanted to move beyond this. She suggested I stop counting calories and start just eating 3 balanced meals per day. I stopped counting and just did what she told me to do and without knowing I had shot up from 1400 calories a day to 2200. I sustained that for 2 days and on the second day was when all hell broke loose. It was like something literally broke in my endocrine system.
My body was literally SCREAMING for me to stop eating. My legs and face were on fire. I had rashes and the most intense panic attack of all time. I didn't know what was happening to me. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to give out. It was like being on a runaway car.
Most panic attacks last 10 min. This panic attack lasted 2 straight weeks. It was the most horrific, terrifying experience of my entire life. My body wouldn't accept food, but I was still trying to feed it. I could not stand, I could not get up. I was so extremely weak and shaky. After a few days, the panic was so bad I had to get up and take a walk or run about 7x per day. ALL I could do ALL DAY was try to manage the constant, never ending experience of panic. I was eating less than 700 calories per day.
I went to stay with my partner's parents because his mom was a nurse and I needed constant monitoring and help. She started feeding me 6x per day, trying her best to even out what was happening to my body. Hell broke loose again and this is where the neurological stuff really kicked in. More episodes of "hypoglycemia" without any change in blood sugar. My blood pressure, which is normally in the 90's was 140. I felt like I constantly couldn't breathe, I was being choked, my heart rate was 120 at resting. My metabolism was so out of control, I lost 7lbs in a couple of days. At this point, I am getting really, really fucking scared.
I go back to the dr and I BEG. I am HYSTERICAL. I am a month into what was happening to me and I was screaming at her that I was going to DIE. I was completely sure that I was going to drop fucking dead and no one was listening! Everyone kept telling me, "you're having panic attacks." NO SHIT. But what they couldn't get through their minds was that A. I am not prone to panic and B. The panic is an effect of what was happening to me metabolically/hormonally. The dr gave me xanax, which obviously did nothing. I had to take matters into my own hands and stop listening to everyone else. I normally eat 2x per day and I decided to stop eating almost completely to slow my metabolism down. The first day I ate 200 calories. The next day 300. It started settling. My heart rate, blood pressure, and panic episodes were calming down a tiny bit. I needed to listen to my body. Only eat when I was genuinely hungry. It was helping, but I couldn't get beyond 500 calories without having a full blown panic attack.
I made the decision to leave Ireland, where I was living to be close to my partner and his family, and go back to the US to get medical care. Hard enough to be separated during a pandemic, but then leaving for medical reasons and not knowing when we will be reunited.
An international flight alone while experiencing all of this is very hard. I made it through, got to my moms and went straight to the emergency room. They were unable to find anything "life threatening" wrong with me, but I was now down 9 lbs.
Staying at my mom's the last 2 weeks, I was able to make some small improvements by listening to my body and allowing my appetite to come back naturally. Between that and constant meditation, my appetite started to regulate.
Then, my partner bailed on me. A week after I was home, he called to break up with me.
I am able to increase my food a little bit, but when I do, I start having neurological issues and panic attacks. They started up again yesterday after about 2 days with no neurological stuff. It's beyond terrifying to feel like you have no control over your nervous system and to feel like you could just pass out and die any moment of the day.
Needless to say, between the most terrifying experience of my life, facing the genuine feeling of death and now heartbreak piled on - it's too much. The pain is beyond. The fear is beyond. I haven't worked in 6 weeks. I have no savings left and the dr bills are piling up. I am now down 13lbs. I have never been afraid for my life. It is a very, very scary feeling. Sometimes I think this is it - I am going to die. Other times I think, I can't experience this another day and I need to end it. Other times I think, I can do this. I can get beyond this and back to the light that is within me. It's going to be a long road to recovery and I am not sure how long I will be out of work.
I am asking for help with personal and dr bills. It is a very hard ask for me, but I am just at such a low and scary point that I really need some support. The dr. visit today, without any bloodwork is $400 alone and I have no idea if he will be able to provide me with any understanding, plan or solutions. My life is in pieces and I am so ashamed.
Anything you could offer me, from words of support, to dr recommendations, to even 5$ would be the most incredible help.
Thank you friends.
I have been extremely ill since the beginning of February. It is typically really hard for me to ask for help because I am such a strong and independent spirit, but now it's time for me to ask for help.
It's hard to explain what is happening to me and my body because I have yet to find a medical explanation. In January, I was finally completing my healing journey, which took about 3 years to heal from various health issues. I had done it and I was so, so proud. Because of severe digestive issues and food intolerances, I had only been eating about eight hundred to maybe twelve hundred calories per day. It caused my period to fizzle out and my breasts to shrink. Now that I had healed my digestive system and food intolerances I was so excited to start eating the proper amount of calories and finally move into abundant, radiant health!!
I didn't know that it was very bad to increase your calories significantly after being restricted for so long. I jumped up to 2000 a day overnight and sustained it for a few days. In those few days, I had an episode where my entire body went numb, I almost blacked out, my hearing and vision went out. I thought I was about to drop dead. This is when I found out about "refeeding syndrome". It's an electrolyte imbalance that happens to people who restrict their eating and then increase their food rapidly and it can be fatal. It's a very, very serious condition.
I immediately went to the dr. She checked my levels and said I was fine and to keep doing what I was doing. I thought that was odd, and I KNEW in my soul, something was up with the increase in food, but instead of listening to myself, I relied on the dr's advice. I dropped my calories down to about fourteen to fifteen hundred per day and kept going.
Soon after, I became more ill. Feeling like I was going to faint or blackout all day long. Then, very weirdly, over a week, my breasts shrunk half the size. I knew something not right was happening but I kept going, thinking that this would pass at some point and that my body was just readjusting. During this time, I had started the Sex Coach Headquarters Virtual Office and even some of the girls Andrea and Marianne were keeping an eye on me incase I were to pass out. Then, I started having increasingly scary things happening, like episodes of what seemed like hypoglycemia - tongue, lips, arms and legs going numb, the room spinning, slurring my speech.
I decided to start working with a registered dietician. I wanted to move beyond this. She suggested I stop counting calories and start just eating 3 balanced meals per day. I stopped counting and just did what she told me to do and without knowing I had shot up from 1400 calories a day to 2200. I sustained that for 2 days and on the second day was when all hell broke loose. It was like something literally broke in my endocrine system.
My body was literally SCREAMING for me to stop eating. My legs and face were on fire. I had rashes and the most intense panic attack of all time. I didn't know what was happening to me. My heart was beating so fast that I thought it was going to give out. It was like being on a runaway car.
Most panic attacks last 10 min. This panic attack lasted 2 straight weeks. It was the most horrific, terrifying experience of my entire life. My body wouldn't accept food, but I was still trying to feed it. I could not stand, I could not get up. I was so extremely weak and shaky. After a few days, the panic was so bad I had to get up and take a walk or run about 7x per day. ALL I could do ALL DAY was try to manage the constant, never ending experience of panic. I was eating less than 700 calories per day.
I went to stay with my partner's parents because his mom was a nurse and I needed constant monitoring and help. She started feeding me 6x per day, trying her best to even out what was happening to my body. Hell broke loose again and this is where the neurological stuff really kicked in. More episodes of "hypoglycemia" without any change in blood sugar. My blood pressure, which is normally in the 90's was 140. I felt like I constantly couldn't breathe, I was being choked, my heart rate was 120 at resting. My metabolism was so out of control, I lost 7lbs in a couple of days. At this point, I am getting really, really fucking scared.
I go back to the dr and I BEG. I am HYSTERICAL. I am a month into what was happening to me and I was screaming at her that I was going to DIE. I was completely sure that I was going to drop fucking dead and no one was listening! Everyone kept telling me, "you're having panic attacks." NO SHIT. But what they couldn't get through their minds was that A. I am not prone to panic and B. The panic is an effect of what was happening to me metabolically/hormonally. The dr gave me xanax, which obviously did nothing. I had to take matters into my own hands and stop listening to everyone else. I normally eat 2x per day and I decided to stop eating almost completely to slow my metabolism down. The first day I ate 200 calories. The next day 300. It started settling. My heart rate, blood pressure, and panic episodes were calming down a tiny bit. I needed to listen to my body. Only eat when I was genuinely hungry. It was helping, but I couldn't get beyond 500 calories without having a full blown panic attack.
I made the decision to leave Ireland, where I was living to be close to my partner and his family, and go back to the US to get medical care. Hard enough to be separated during a pandemic, but then leaving for medical reasons and not knowing when we will be reunited.
An international flight alone while experiencing all of this is very hard. I made it through, got to my moms and went straight to the emergency room. They were unable to find anything "life threatening" wrong with me, but I was now down 9 lbs.
Staying at my mom's the last 2 weeks, I was able to make some small improvements by listening to my body and allowing my appetite to come back naturally. Between that and constant meditation, my appetite started to regulate.
Then, my partner bailed on me. A week after I was home, he called to break up with me.
I am able to increase my food a little bit, but when I do, I start having neurological issues and panic attacks. They started up again yesterday after about 2 days with no neurological stuff. It's beyond terrifying to feel like you have no control over your nervous system and to feel like you could just pass out and die any moment of the day.
Needless to say, between the most terrifying experience of my life, facing the genuine feeling of death and now heartbreak piled on - it's too much. The pain is beyond. The fear is beyond. I haven't worked in 6 weeks. I have no savings left and the dr bills are piling up. I am now down 13lbs. I have never been afraid for my life. It is a very, very scary feeling. Sometimes I think this is it - I am going to die. Other times I think, I can't experience this another day and I need to end it. Other times I think, I can do this. I can get beyond this and back to the light that is within me. It's going to be a long road to recovery and I am not sure how long I will be out of work.
I am asking for help with personal and dr bills. It is a very hard ask for me, but I am just at such a low and scary point that I really need some support. The dr. visit today, without any bloodwork is $400 alone and I have no idea if he will be able to provide me with any understanding, plan or solutions. My life is in pieces and I am so ashamed.
Anything you could offer me, from words of support, to dr recommendations, to even 5$ would be the most incredible help.
Thank you friends.
Organizer
Justina Gioia
Organizer
Vero Beach, FL