My transgender story (I NEED YOUR HELP!)

hi everyone.

after much deliberation, i have decided to reach out to the community and ask for your help in getting gender affirming laser hair removal.

i am a transgender womxn, something that has taken a lot of work to unpack and realize. as a child, i didn't see myself any different than the girls i knew because i was just like them. it wasn't until i started school that i realized i was different because everything was segregated by gender. now i was forced to be on the boys team, forced to use the boys washroom and quickly developed the belief that it was wrong to be a girl, so i must be a boy. 

i hated disappointing people (especially my authority figures) so i went with the expectations of being a boy. my femininity caused reprimanding and because i was getting in trouble for my feminine tendencies time and time again, i suppressed what was natural to feel "normal" (i got in trouble for shaving my legs ). by the time i was 9 i was channelling a lot of anger and was unknowingly placed in anger management (which was just spending a few hours a day in a room doing art & crafts with other "problem" children). nothing was addressed and i learned to pacify my feelings, once again adapting myself to survive my environment. i did such a good job of suppressing the truth that i made myself believe that was it.

in 2017, i "woke up" and realized my mental health was taking a toll on my body. i had been experiencing heavy depression and crippling anxiety that was making it hard to exist, i was underweight and experiencing hair loss due to stress. i wanted my life to end. through psychotherapy and meditation, i began unearthing and processing childhood trauma as well as PTSD from a toxic relationship of five years. THE CORE ROOT OF ALL MY SUFFERING IS GENDER BASED. as i started healing, i began to unearth the feminine energy i had been suppressing for so long and slowly gave myself the permission to explore that.

my first pair of heels, my first dress, my first skirt. the joy that these simple things brought into my life was overwhelming and undeniable. it didn't feel like a costume... it felt right. however, the juxtaposition of my body presenting one way and my soul/mind feeling another way and the world refusing to see me for who i am is fucking me up every day.

i am not a drag queen & this is not a costume. THIS IS ME.

i spend a significant amount of time & money shaving/epilating/waxing to feel 100% womxn, which is short lived. in less than 24hrs my resilient body hair reverts all that hard work and a depressive episode is triggered when i'm reminded of the reality of my body. i become afraid to go out in public on days when i'm giving my skin rest, wanting to hibernate to avoid being  misgendered at every moment, ready to fight any transphobia that comes my way. i am tired of having my guard up at all times to defend my existence as a womxn in this world. I AM NOT A SIR OR MR. I AM A MISS, I AM A MX. THE CORE ROOT OF ALL MY SUFFERING IS GENDER BASED.

i almost started HRT, but weighing out the pros and cons i realized that HRT was jumping the gun for my journey as a trans person. hormones alone weren't going to solve the beard/body hair situation and i would have to laser anyway. because HRT brings irreversible changes to my body i'm not ready for, laser hair removal is the first and most important step for me to finally feel comfortable in my own skin and affirm my gender for myself.

please, i need your help to make this permanent and let me live my life in PEACE. the dysphoria is taking control of my life and i want to be FREE. 

seeing as there is no coverage for laser hair removal, i am asking for your help. the total cost with tax for my laser hair removal will be $8752*, which i'll be doing at Bellair Laser Clinic. this will cover the permanent removal of my beard and body hair which is done through 8-10 sessions 6-8 weeks apart. 

*50% off original price

NOTE:

the trans experience is wild and very complicated/multi-faceted. gender means everything & yet it means nothing. our bodies are constantly being politicized and we experience a lot of hate towards us because our existence shatters institutions that we have believed to be true for so long. we all experience different levels of dysphoria (or none at all) but this is my story. i know womxn and body hair have a long, complicated history and the dysphoria between my hairy body and not feeling enough like a womxn, in part has to do with societal standards placed upon womxn. i've tried really hard to learn to love and embrace it, inspired by trans people like alok vaid-menon, jacob tobia, and folx i've met irl. however, i cannot deny how much happier i am without the beard and body hair and i'm finally doing something about it.

love y'all,

thanks for helping. this is scary.

andrés sierra