help me see myself the way i feel on the inside.

13 months ago, i began this same process and was very quickly, & traumatically discouraged and convinced out of it by a group of people who’s opinion and value i relied on too heavily at the time.

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this past year & more importantly these past few months i have felt such a drastic transformational shift internally. i feel dissociated, dysphoric to a severe extent & i feel like i’ve been watching myself search for something that i haven’t yet had the awareness to grasp.

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what i’ve been searching for is zander. the body, the spirit & the desire to see myself the way i’ve always felt on the inside. to bend the binary & to relish in the art of not conforming based on society’s standards.

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for me, that first step looks like honoring myself through the process of top surgery. to eliminate obstacles that are keeping me for seeing myself as i am. it looks like fighting for my queer journey in big ways for the first time in my life: with pride and confidence.

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for those of you who have been with me on this journey unconditionally, i want to thank you. thank you for nurturing me emotionally in ways that i have rarely received growing up. if you feel led to donate, you will be contributing to one of the greatest gifts i could attain in this lifetime.

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here’s to officially finding zander.

it’s only the beginning.