- K
My name is Matteo, I'm a disabled trans man, I'm an artist, I do drag, I write. I've been saving up for top surgery for a few years now, just putting aside whatever spare change came my way until I could cover some of the initial costs.
A few weeks ago I lost my PIP money, which has meant that I am having to use the money I had saved up to cover costs normally covered by my PIP. That's about £3,500 in savings lost to living costs that should have been provided by the government.
The truth is that I need top surgery sooner rather than later, it will probably be more expensive for me due to my disability, and it will take me longer to recover.
I hate that trans people have to justify ourselves to be deemed worthy of medical care, I hate that because I am disabled it is going to cost me more and be a more complicated process - things are doubly inaccessible.
I want top surgery so that I can wear a breastplate when I do drag. I want it so I can have a smooth chest when my partner feels me up, I want to go swimming again and get changed in public spaces, I want to stop feeling uncomfortable every time I have to get changed and every time I shower.
I've been dreaming about it since I was 10 and had my first bra fitting, when I realised that there was something attached to my body that was not a part of me.
I was born in the right body, I just need to make some adjustments so I can feel more comfortable, it's like giving myself leg room after years of being cramped under a children's table. I just get to stretch. But the stretch costs about £7,000 and I don't have any money.



