Hi my name is nichola ive really struggled with the decision to make this ive tried other ways for a long time now and figured I have nothing left to lose. Matilda is my daughter she died at just 5 months old she went into cardiac arrest had a few strokes hundreds of seizures whilst in an induced coma on life support. Unfortunately she suffered to much brain damage and was unable yo breath on her own so I had to make the horrendous decision of switching off her life support and I held her until her heart stopped beating once she was completely gone I had to wrap her in a blanket at leave her all alone in hospital and go home to my other children numb and broken forever . Matilda was cremated so she's in a box in our living room but this means there is no where for myself and her siblings to go when it's her birthday or anniversary so im trying to raise enough money to get her a memorial bench over looking the sea on the cliffs top with her name on so others can see she existed and we can bring her balloons and gifts on special occasions etc . Seeing my bany in a coffin haunts me constantly and having no where to go for her is taking its toll to say the least but me personally I couldn't bear the thought of her alone in a cemetery that's why I chose cremation but I didn't think about this the fact there would be no memorial bar her urn. Her 5th birthday is October 21st 2025 and I really want to be able to give her this gift so she's always remembered being a single mum to 5 others with a recent blood cancer diagnosis and other health conditions I just can't do it alone I have tried I promise. If you got this far thankyou so much for taking the time to read a little about tilly xx