Mary Lou Primeaux's Memorial Fund

My name is Carmen Khan. I would like to pre-emptively thank you for your time to read my story. 

This fund page is dedicated to my grandmother Mary Lou Primeaux (90), who is currently in a critical vegetative state on her death bed.

With no life insurance, and no help from any avenue I approached, I am resorting to the world with all my faith in human kindness by creating this fund page for her funeral expenses.  


In small town of Crowley, Louisiana; known for agriculture, there is my grandmother whom i call "Maw Maw". She means the world to me.  My grandmother was a cotton picker, whom devoted herself to religion of Catholicism, she was a Catechism teacher to the children. She loved to sew, dance and listen to music. She was fun, loving person and a wife to my grandfather who was a WWII veteran and worked in Crowley's rice mills. My grandmother gave a lot to the community;  She  was known to donate money and time to church.

She helped raise me while my mother had to work two jobs. She showed me how to love life and how to be happy while being raised in poverty. 


Last week my Maw Maw was diagnosed with a blood clot in her brain, which was discovered when she suffered a stroke. The Neurologist offered to conduct a surgery to remove the blood clot, however her chances of surviving from the surgery would be very low due to her age.

The Neurologist couldn't provide an average life expectancy for my Maw Maw, which gave an impression to my family that this would not re-occur anytime soon. 
However the neurologist suggested involving the Hospice services. My Maw Maw was discharged from the hospital that same day and was advised that we provide our own transportation back.  

I was shocked to find out that they would let someone with a blood clot with indefinite time to live ride in a normal vehicle not suited for a patient with a blood clot in brain. 

This did not seem right, considering you have someone who could suffer another stroke at any moment. I requested that she be transported in an ambulance. 
Since she was a resident at the Nursing home, it was suggested by the hospital that Nursing home would be providing the transportation from hospital to the nursing home. I was under the impression that the nursing home van would have a medical accredited individual on board and e.t.c.


Once the Nursing home van arrived, after getting in the van, I noticed this van did not have any medical life support equipment and also realized the driver nor the helper is knowledgeable to help someone in a medical emergency situation. I rode with my Maw Maw while holding on to her dearly in the nursing home van, the driver informed they needed to pickup another resident from a different hospital before heading back to the nursing home.  

With everything turning for worst that day, it turns out the van driver was lost in finding the next hospital and we ended up in a different suburb to  realize the other hospital was only a few minutes away from where they picked us up. This offsetted us by 30 minutes. Once we arrived at the second hospital I noticed my Maw Maw's face was drooping to one side and she was not able to respond to me, the world stopped for me I Immediately knew  that she was having another stroke.

Not knowing what to do I desperately jumped out of the van and ran in to the Emergency Room at the second hospital seeking for help. My Maw Maw was administered in to the Emergency Room.

We were told almost the same as the first hospital that we do not have any options other than for her to just continue living. The option of surgery was not even on the table this time due to this being her second stroke. My Maw Maw is now no longer able to lift her arms or respond verbally. This was the last time I heard my grandma talk, I could see that she is slowly starting to shutdown.

Then came the time to transport her back to senior nursing home, I again requested the hospital provide an ambulance for her transportation, the hospital turned down my request this time by saying that she is not considered someone that requires critical care, therefore they are not able to provide an ambulance and that we would need to figure out her transportation. Again after dealing with some red tape with hospital, they co-ordinated her transportation with the senior nursing home. 


This time while loading my Maw Maw into the nursing home van, she suffered another stroke in which she became completely unresponsive. We had no choice but to see her like this and she was loaded into the van.

Me and my mother rode in the van holding my grandmothers hand trying to keep her attention all the way back to our small town of Crowley, LA from Laffayette, LA. Once we arrived at nursing home the hospice social worker was called in, whom was baffled to hear the story and was shocked that she was not on an oxygen tank during her transportation from hospital to the nursing home as this was a necessity for her critical condition. I immediately inquired with the Nursing home regarding this and was advised the reason why the oxygen tank was not present because the hospital never instructed to do so. 

It is possible the additional short time lapsed strokes could have been prevented during the transportation had the hospitals of Laffayette paid close attention to minor details such as by means of providing or requesting her to be on oxygen tank or respirator. 

After all this sufferring, my grandma has now lost the ability to chew and swallow, she is now barely able to keep her eyes open. I finally know the meaning of a vegetative state. 

Had the hospitals of Laffayette been paying attention to small details,  she may still be able to do all the things she was able to when she left the hospital for the first time. All this hospital jargen added to my Maw Maw's suffering.

It hurts me to see her current condition turn for worst in quality of life.  

Her condition was just assessed earlier today and we are being told she merely has a day to 2 weeks left and that we need to prepare for her funeral. We have inquired with all of the funeral homes and the cost is coming out to be too much for a proper bare minimum funeral. 

I have gotten quotes as low as $7000 which does not include the costs of the burial chamber. I have reached out to several folks, churches and organizations. It seems like everyone has closed their doors on us.

My grandmother was a devout catholic, and as her granddaughter with a sincere heart, we are humbly asking for help as she deserves a proper buriel. 

I am very thankful of you, for your kindness and the support. 

God Bless!
Carmen K.