Mark Hanson Family - Brayden, Tenley & Joc
Donation protected
Dear loved ones, colleagues, friends, and family
A week ago my beloved older brother Mark Hanson unexpectedly and tragically passed away. His passing was so sudden and painful, it felt best to have a private memorial service for him with close family. This time is devastating for our family because we loved Mark so much and thought we would have so many more years with him. My brother was a loving and bright light in the world. He touched so many lives and was deeply loved by those who met him.
It feels as though I am missing half of my heart because my brother made me feel complete. He was my family and home. At this point the only thing that comes close to filling this hole in my heart are his two beautiful and amazing children. My nephew Brayden (5) and my niece Tenley (3).
As a way to honor him and celebrate his life as well as to support my sister-in-law Jocelyn during such a difficult time, I have put together a fundraiser to raise money for a trust for Brayden and Tenley. Our family would request you make a donation to this fund in lieu of flowers. Whether it is $5 or $500 every little bit means the world to me and my family.
Mark’s son Brayden told us he wanted to have a “goodbye party” for daddy. So at the service, (which was beautiful thanks to Jocelyn, Brie, Dayna, Della, Joan and Pat) there were balloons and bubbles. It was truly a celebration of his life. I know many people would want to honor Mark. This is the tribute that I wrote and gave at the service, which I wanted to share with all of you who loved him deeply but were not able to attend.
Lee’s Tribute to Mark
Part 1 - Promise me
Mark and I grew up together with Taekwondo. He started doing it and anything he did I wanted to do to. I was not about to be left out. I even attempted to be a basketball player at one point cause he was good at it. I was able to fake it all the way to grade 8.
Through martial arts we bonded and grew together and what we learned was that when you were fighting or sparring someone, you never wanted to show any sign of weakness. Protect yourself, keep your guard up at all time or your opponent will know when to attack and kick the shit out of you.
The reason I am bringing this up is because there are times in life when we do need to keep our guard up. Protect ourselves. Be strong and resilient. Not let every little set back get to us.
However it is important to me during a time like this. This unimaginably devastating time. I am asking you all to promise me. To please let your guard down. This process isn’t going to be easy or pretty or quick. Remembering that everyone’s process and pain is going to be different. At times we feel tremendous sadness. And then a wave of numbness will hit where you can’t feel anything. At times you may be angry. You might be angry at the world, at God, or even at Mark. And the scariest one to me that I have felt this past week and seen in others is guilt.
I am saying this to everyone in the room. But I especially need the men to hear it. You have to be brave enough to let yourselves have the feelings throughout this process. I know it has been taught that this is a sign of weakness, or not being man enough, but it is not. It takes incredible courage to be vulnerable in front of others.
And similarly to martial arts if you do put down your hands, open yourself up, you will in fact be attacked. The difference is you will be attacked with love by those around you. Even complete strangers. I was sitting in a restaurant in Beverly Hills this week because my friend just wanted to get me out of the apartment. I had overwhelmingly sad breakdown in the middle of a public place. And so many people who didn’t even know came to check on me, give me love, a helping hand. Keep in mind I live in Los Angeles where everyone is a fucking asshole.
Please don’t go the old school route and try to bottle it all up inside, or put on a stiff upper lip, or keep calm and carry on. Yes there are times when we are in survival mode and we keep the guard up. But your feelings must be felt or you run the risk of them coming out in negative forms of behavior. Both Mark and I have struggled with this in the past. Allow people to love you and attack you with compassion. I ask this for you from the bottom of my heart and I promise to follow my own council.
Part 2 Family
We are all on a long road to healing. This has already been a roller coaster of a week but for me I ask that we all help the people that are the most important people in the world right now to me. I ask this of all friends, and family, to reach out and care for Jocelyn. I will even be reaching out to my community to help her. I will be here whenever you need me. And you and the kids always have a home with me. (I do secretly want to kidnap you all and take you to LA) Jocelyn is so strong, and full of love, I know she will be able to recover and live in joy again. But I ask that you help her through this in whatever way you can and understand that the needs and help will change over the course of time. Please ask her what you can do to help without being annoying. Please show up for her when you say you will. Let’s build a foundation under her so she can build herself back up. Please help me take care of the only sister I have. Jocelyn thank you for loving Mark.
Brayden and Tenley - Your daddy loves you more than anyone else in the world. You both made the sun come up in the morning and the moon come out at night for him. And he will always love you no matter what. And he is always with you. You have an amazing mommy and a big family that loves you and who will be there for you whenever you need. You have me. Your Auntie Lee who loves you forever. You can’t get rid of me even if you tried. Your dad always took care of me. His little sister. And I always tried my best to take care of him. We were the Hanson kids. I would like to encourage you to look out for each other and take care of each other, even if you are annoyed with each other sometimes. Stick together and love one another because you are both on the same team. Team Hanson
Help me take care of my mom and dad. Pat and Gerald Hanson. Please reach out to them often. Hold them and wrap them in love because this is the hardest thing we have ever had to live through. And to you both. Without any doubt in my mind you have always been the best parents to us. Both Mark and I thought the other was your favorite. You raised us right. You loved us.
I want to thank Brie, Lyndon, Joan and Roger for your endless support and love. Thank you for doing everything you can during such a devastating time. Thank you for being his family. For loving him so deeply. Thank you for accepting him, with all of his amazing qualities along with his flaws and mistakes. Thank you for picking up all the pieces and trying to put them back together.
Part 3 - Mark
Mark. I’ve never actually thought about the significance of his name before. It was always just my big brother. The more I think about it. I realize that the reason we loved him so much was he left his mark on our hearts. It’s etched in so deep that it will never leave us. And each of us has a different story or list of things that we love the most about him and what we will miss the most.
I think each person who knew him would have their very own list. Everyone is going to have their own favorite memories and qualities about him. And I hope when the time is right you make a list and send it to me so that I can share it with everyone. It would illustrate his true self and how much of a positive impact he had on the people around him.
Now Mark was my favorite person in the whole world so my actual list is pretty long and would probably take days and weeks to get through. So for now, this is just a sample of my list of the things I loved most about Mark. I chose 35 because he was 35 years old.
1) He was the best brother who always looked out for me. When we would go on TKD tournaments. Sometimes I would be so nervous and homesick the night before, I would sneak out of my assigned room and knock on his door and stay with him, Paul Carey and the Almassy boys.
2) The ski trips each Easter with the Kindrachuks and Wettaufers. New favorite thing was taking Brayden for his first ski trip and seeing how protective Mark was of Brayden on his first lesson.
3) Our very own unique and weird sense of humor that only the two of us understood. Like we spoke in code or a different language. We’d say something to each other crack up and people would look at us they we were insane. ( I guarantee no one will laugh at this) For example: “Looking like a bunch of bums out here” or “You’ve got to keep your wits about you.” My point exactly.
4) The way he and Jocelyn danced the polka together at my wedding while she was pregnant with Brayden.
5) The way he would read stories to Bray and Tenley each night.
6) How much he loved playing the tuba. Going to tuba Christmas each year.
7) How kind he was to everyone.
8) His smile and laugh. I’d give anything in the world to see and hear that again.
9) The way we would practice our patterns in the living room. We would also practice our speeches for “Concours d'oratoire” together in the same living room.
10) The first time I had a big breakup and I was balling in my room and he came in to hug me. And how he went to the Rolling Stones concert with me as my date to I could still go and wouldn’t feel a total loner.
11) Oh just, the first night I met Lyndon. I think it was New Years. And I just hated Lyndon so much. That makes me laugh so much. But how you guys became such kindred spirits.
12) The way he would patiently help my mom up or down the stairs. Coaching her to take it slow.
13) I don’t know why but I love how he hated Shepherd’s pie and would refuse to eat it.
14) The very special connection we had to our Nan Evelyn Springstein. How he has kept those traditions and taught them to Brayden and Tenley to have with their Nan.
15) When he was captain of the Volleyball team. When they won. The moment he hoisted the trophy over his head.
16) Him and Tenley in the back of the Star wars ride while Brayden and Jocelyn were screaming and driving the plane.
17) Him being my “Man of Honor” for my wedding.
18) Jocelyn and Mark’s wedding in Mexico. Particularly when Joan would play piano and we would all sing together. And the two Grandmas were dancing together.
19) How Tenley knows his Tim Hortons order by heart.
20) How Tenley would tell him to “get his sit together dad” - Don’t know where she would have heard that.
21) How loyal and caring a husband he was to Jocelyn.
22) How he was a role model and big brother figure to the Deregowskis and so many others.
23) His insane love of “Are you being served” or really bad Taekwondo trip movies. Which just do yourself a favor and re-watch Jean Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport. It is gloriously bad.
24) Christmas morning where he would always be up before me.
25) How we would always tell each other how proud we were of each other. Where we were at in our lives.
26) Going hunting with my dad. Cause lord knows I wasn’t gonna go hunting with him.
27) The notes that we would write to each other before a competition. We’d say read this on the plane. And it would have advice and prayers.
28) Seeing him out at the grill or cooking in the kitchen for everyone.
29) Playing outside with all the kids on Glamis place.
30) Saturday mornings in the Dojo, followed by lunch at Langs.
31) How he and Jocelyn would come to all my plays, even if they were weird.
32) The way he could make his kids laugh so hard.
33) Driving around Roger and Joan’s Farm. How much he loved it there. The way it just confirmed to me that he was Saskatchewan through and through.
34) Daddy Snuggles
35) The simple fact that if this was anyone else. I could handle it. But the fact that I have to say goodbye to you. Is like saying goodbye to part of myself. So I know I will never be the same. He was the other half of my heart. Growing up side by side to someone will have that effect.
So real talk. During something so shitty like this. This hard, this messy and complicated journey ahead. I have asked him over and over this week. How am I going to do this without you? Same question I asked myself when my mom was diagnosed with ALS. What do I do with this flaming garbage shit storm? How can I find a shred of hope in all this darkness? And I think he gave me the answer in his name.
He’s already with us. We carry his spirit with us every where we go. What we do now in the world honors his authentic voice.
Just always remember to make your Mark in the world. In the same way that we remember him making a mark on our hearts. To keep his light, and kindness alive I would like to set up an organization in his name. Maybe call it “Make your Mark” “Leave a Mark” (I don’t know I’m not the business major, really could use his help with it)
I don’t really understand a lot right now. There’s a lot of things that don’t make sense. And don’t add up. But the only true thing I can stand behind right now is that I would like to share with the world how good he was. And how I believe through kindness and compassion we can overcome all of the heartaches that life throws at us. And we can share his truth and his Mark which I believe is what the world needs now more than ever.
Thank you for your love and prayers. Thank you for holding us all up right now. Thank you for giving us hope. Please make a donation if you are able to support Brayden, Tenley and Jocelyn's future.
Lee Hanson
A week ago my beloved older brother Mark Hanson unexpectedly and tragically passed away. His passing was so sudden and painful, it felt best to have a private memorial service for him with close family. This time is devastating for our family because we loved Mark so much and thought we would have so many more years with him. My brother was a loving and bright light in the world. He touched so many lives and was deeply loved by those who met him.
It feels as though I am missing half of my heart because my brother made me feel complete. He was my family and home. At this point the only thing that comes close to filling this hole in my heart are his two beautiful and amazing children. My nephew Brayden (5) and my niece Tenley (3).
As a way to honor him and celebrate his life as well as to support my sister-in-law Jocelyn during such a difficult time, I have put together a fundraiser to raise money for a trust for Brayden and Tenley. Our family would request you make a donation to this fund in lieu of flowers. Whether it is $5 or $500 every little bit means the world to me and my family.
Mark’s son Brayden told us he wanted to have a “goodbye party” for daddy. So at the service, (which was beautiful thanks to Jocelyn, Brie, Dayna, Della, Joan and Pat) there were balloons and bubbles. It was truly a celebration of his life. I know many people would want to honor Mark. This is the tribute that I wrote and gave at the service, which I wanted to share with all of you who loved him deeply but were not able to attend.
Lee’s Tribute to Mark
Part 1 - Promise me
Mark and I grew up together with Taekwondo. He started doing it and anything he did I wanted to do to. I was not about to be left out. I even attempted to be a basketball player at one point cause he was good at it. I was able to fake it all the way to grade 8.
Through martial arts we bonded and grew together and what we learned was that when you were fighting or sparring someone, you never wanted to show any sign of weakness. Protect yourself, keep your guard up at all time or your opponent will know when to attack and kick the shit out of you.
The reason I am bringing this up is because there are times in life when we do need to keep our guard up. Protect ourselves. Be strong and resilient. Not let every little set back get to us.
However it is important to me during a time like this. This unimaginably devastating time. I am asking you all to promise me. To please let your guard down. This process isn’t going to be easy or pretty or quick. Remembering that everyone’s process and pain is going to be different. At times we feel tremendous sadness. And then a wave of numbness will hit where you can’t feel anything. At times you may be angry. You might be angry at the world, at God, or even at Mark. And the scariest one to me that I have felt this past week and seen in others is guilt.
I am saying this to everyone in the room. But I especially need the men to hear it. You have to be brave enough to let yourselves have the feelings throughout this process. I know it has been taught that this is a sign of weakness, or not being man enough, but it is not. It takes incredible courage to be vulnerable in front of others.
And similarly to martial arts if you do put down your hands, open yourself up, you will in fact be attacked. The difference is you will be attacked with love by those around you. Even complete strangers. I was sitting in a restaurant in Beverly Hills this week because my friend just wanted to get me out of the apartment. I had overwhelmingly sad breakdown in the middle of a public place. And so many people who didn’t even know came to check on me, give me love, a helping hand. Keep in mind I live in Los Angeles where everyone is a fucking asshole.
Please don’t go the old school route and try to bottle it all up inside, or put on a stiff upper lip, or keep calm and carry on. Yes there are times when we are in survival mode and we keep the guard up. But your feelings must be felt or you run the risk of them coming out in negative forms of behavior. Both Mark and I have struggled with this in the past. Allow people to love you and attack you with compassion. I ask this for you from the bottom of my heart and I promise to follow my own council.
Part 2 Family
We are all on a long road to healing. This has already been a roller coaster of a week but for me I ask that we all help the people that are the most important people in the world right now to me. I ask this of all friends, and family, to reach out and care for Jocelyn. I will even be reaching out to my community to help her. I will be here whenever you need me. And you and the kids always have a home with me. (I do secretly want to kidnap you all and take you to LA) Jocelyn is so strong, and full of love, I know she will be able to recover and live in joy again. But I ask that you help her through this in whatever way you can and understand that the needs and help will change over the course of time. Please ask her what you can do to help without being annoying. Please show up for her when you say you will. Let’s build a foundation under her so she can build herself back up. Please help me take care of the only sister I have. Jocelyn thank you for loving Mark.
Brayden and Tenley - Your daddy loves you more than anyone else in the world. You both made the sun come up in the morning and the moon come out at night for him. And he will always love you no matter what. And he is always with you. You have an amazing mommy and a big family that loves you and who will be there for you whenever you need. You have me. Your Auntie Lee who loves you forever. You can’t get rid of me even if you tried. Your dad always took care of me. His little sister. And I always tried my best to take care of him. We were the Hanson kids. I would like to encourage you to look out for each other and take care of each other, even if you are annoyed with each other sometimes. Stick together and love one another because you are both on the same team. Team Hanson
Help me take care of my mom and dad. Pat and Gerald Hanson. Please reach out to them often. Hold them and wrap them in love because this is the hardest thing we have ever had to live through. And to you both. Without any doubt in my mind you have always been the best parents to us. Both Mark and I thought the other was your favorite. You raised us right. You loved us.
I want to thank Brie, Lyndon, Joan and Roger for your endless support and love. Thank you for doing everything you can during such a devastating time. Thank you for being his family. For loving him so deeply. Thank you for accepting him, with all of his amazing qualities along with his flaws and mistakes. Thank you for picking up all the pieces and trying to put them back together.
Part 3 - Mark
Mark. I’ve never actually thought about the significance of his name before. It was always just my big brother. The more I think about it. I realize that the reason we loved him so much was he left his mark on our hearts. It’s etched in so deep that it will never leave us. And each of us has a different story or list of things that we love the most about him and what we will miss the most.
I think each person who knew him would have their very own list. Everyone is going to have their own favorite memories and qualities about him. And I hope when the time is right you make a list and send it to me so that I can share it with everyone. It would illustrate his true self and how much of a positive impact he had on the people around him.
Now Mark was my favorite person in the whole world so my actual list is pretty long and would probably take days and weeks to get through. So for now, this is just a sample of my list of the things I loved most about Mark. I chose 35 because he was 35 years old.
1) He was the best brother who always looked out for me. When we would go on TKD tournaments. Sometimes I would be so nervous and homesick the night before, I would sneak out of my assigned room and knock on his door and stay with him, Paul Carey and the Almassy boys.
2) The ski trips each Easter with the Kindrachuks and Wettaufers. New favorite thing was taking Brayden for his first ski trip and seeing how protective Mark was of Brayden on his first lesson.
3) Our very own unique and weird sense of humor that only the two of us understood. Like we spoke in code or a different language. We’d say something to each other crack up and people would look at us they we were insane. ( I guarantee no one will laugh at this) For example: “Looking like a bunch of bums out here” or “You’ve got to keep your wits about you.” My point exactly.
4) The way he and Jocelyn danced the polka together at my wedding while she was pregnant with Brayden.
5) The way he would read stories to Bray and Tenley each night.
6) How much he loved playing the tuba. Going to tuba Christmas each year.
7) How kind he was to everyone.
8) His smile and laugh. I’d give anything in the world to see and hear that again.
9) The way we would practice our patterns in the living room. We would also practice our speeches for “Concours d'oratoire” together in the same living room.
10) The first time I had a big breakup and I was balling in my room and he came in to hug me. And how he went to the Rolling Stones concert with me as my date to I could still go and wouldn’t feel a total loner.
11) Oh just, the first night I met Lyndon. I think it was New Years. And I just hated Lyndon so much. That makes me laugh so much. But how you guys became such kindred spirits.
12) The way he would patiently help my mom up or down the stairs. Coaching her to take it slow.
13) I don’t know why but I love how he hated Shepherd’s pie and would refuse to eat it.
14) The very special connection we had to our Nan Evelyn Springstein. How he has kept those traditions and taught them to Brayden and Tenley to have with their Nan.
15) When he was captain of the Volleyball team. When they won. The moment he hoisted the trophy over his head.
16) Him and Tenley in the back of the Star wars ride while Brayden and Jocelyn were screaming and driving the plane.
17) Him being my “Man of Honor” for my wedding.
18) Jocelyn and Mark’s wedding in Mexico. Particularly when Joan would play piano and we would all sing together. And the two Grandmas were dancing together.
19) How Tenley knows his Tim Hortons order by heart.
20) How Tenley would tell him to “get his sit together dad” - Don’t know where she would have heard that.
21) How loyal and caring a husband he was to Jocelyn.
22) How he was a role model and big brother figure to the Deregowskis and so many others.
23) His insane love of “Are you being served” or really bad Taekwondo trip movies. Which just do yourself a favor and re-watch Jean Claude Van Damme in Bloodsport. It is gloriously bad.
24) Christmas morning where he would always be up before me.
25) How we would always tell each other how proud we were of each other. Where we were at in our lives.
26) Going hunting with my dad. Cause lord knows I wasn’t gonna go hunting with him.
27) The notes that we would write to each other before a competition. We’d say read this on the plane. And it would have advice and prayers.
28) Seeing him out at the grill or cooking in the kitchen for everyone.
29) Playing outside with all the kids on Glamis place.
30) Saturday mornings in the Dojo, followed by lunch at Langs.
31) How he and Jocelyn would come to all my plays, even if they were weird.
32) The way he could make his kids laugh so hard.
33) Driving around Roger and Joan’s Farm. How much he loved it there. The way it just confirmed to me that he was Saskatchewan through and through.
34) Daddy Snuggles
35) The simple fact that if this was anyone else. I could handle it. But the fact that I have to say goodbye to you. Is like saying goodbye to part of myself. So I know I will never be the same. He was the other half of my heart. Growing up side by side to someone will have that effect.
So real talk. During something so shitty like this. This hard, this messy and complicated journey ahead. I have asked him over and over this week. How am I going to do this without you? Same question I asked myself when my mom was diagnosed with ALS. What do I do with this flaming garbage shit storm? How can I find a shred of hope in all this darkness? And I think he gave me the answer in his name.
He’s already with us. We carry his spirit with us every where we go. What we do now in the world honors his authentic voice.
Just always remember to make your Mark in the world. In the same way that we remember him making a mark on our hearts. To keep his light, and kindness alive I would like to set up an organization in his name. Maybe call it “Make your Mark” “Leave a Mark” (I don’t know I’m not the business major, really could use his help with it)
I don’t really understand a lot right now. There’s a lot of things that don’t make sense. And don’t add up. But the only true thing I can stand behind right now is that I would like to share with the world how good he was. And how I believe through kindness and compassion we can overcome all of the heartaches that life throws at us. And we can share his truth and his Mark which I believe is what the world needs now more than ever.
Thank you for your love and prayers. Thank you for holding us all up right now. Thank you for giving us hope. Please make a donation if you are able to support Brayden, Tenley and Jocelyn's future.
Lee Hanson
Organizer
Lee Margaret Hanson
Organizer
Los Angeles, CA