Mandi and Dan

Dan was diagnosed with stage IV cancer at the end of November. As anyone can imagine it’s been earth-shattering news. Over the past two months, our world has been flipped upside down. Dan isn’t able to work because both the cancer and the treatments (bi-weekly chemotherapy infusions) cause pain, fatigue, and weakness. In order to respond to Dan’s care needs, Dan and Mandi moved into together. This means two houses, one income. Dan is fortunate to have family that is able to help with the costs of his house while long-term decisions are made (selling, renting, Dan returning, etc.) as well as assist with his medical bills. Of course, this type of support is rare and truly amazing, but there remains an ongoing need. Caregiving and supporting Dan during treatments - while also working full time and maintaining the household - means there is a reduced mental margin for other tasks that previously may not have been a challenge. Simply put, we find ourselves needing to outsource some things that we may not have done before. Doing so allows us to be more present with each other and the tasks of caregiving, but also comes with increased costs. For example, I am far more likely to have my groceries delivered (trying to avoid leaving him alone) or to have less ability to sit down and menu plan, both resulting in increased costs. The dog joining the family also has her own “grocery” and training needs, which were both unexpected expenses. Some home maintenance or upkeep that I may have either done myself or Dan may have done for us is now something I am hiring a handyman to do.

Of course, our greatest hope is that we’ll find our way into a maintenance phase with treatment. The hope is that he’ll regain strength and would be able to return to work and we’d all live a very long and “normal” life with some chemo days mixed in here and there. Until we reach that point, extra support would be tremendously appreciated as we navigate this.