This is probably one of the hardest things for us to do....to ask for donations to go towards something very private and something that is such a sensitive subject.  When you want something so badly, you kind of lose a little bit of dignity and just do what you feel like you got to do to make that dream a reality.

We have been dreaming of being parents since we were little. It was one of the things that attracted us to each other, both wanting big families, a house full of kids. Megan wanted three at least and Brian just wanted what Megan wanted (he's that amazing).  We constantly talked about traditions we wanted to continue from our families and new traditions we wanted to introduce to our kids.

We started trying to grow our family right after we got married in 2014. After about 8 months of, yes...just "relaxing and seeing what happens" we made an appointment with the OBGYN. She told us to give it 2 more months then she should recommend us to a specialist because of my age (Insert eye roll here).

So there we were, 10 months and no sign of baby boss yet. We have been put into the INFERTILITY section of the hospital.

10 months may not seem that long but we just knew something was not right. We had an appointment with a specialist. We sat awkwardly in the waiting room trying not to stare at other infertile couples. We tried the magic clomid pill for a couple of months- nothing. We did an IUI (Intrauterine insemination)- nothing. After some additional testing we learned that Megan's ovarian reserve is very low (that means she does not produce many eggs) A women her age should have about 20 follicles ready to drop an egg, Megan has about 6-8. This told us that we should move on to IVF sooner rather then later.

If you know Megan at all, you know she gets a little impatient and wants to take control of the situation. Brian is a bit more relaxed and stress free, we truly balance eachother out :) We both want to be parents so we did what we needed to do to make that happen. Megan struggled with the thought of this for a while. It was hard to imagine that we had come to this. We talked, thought and prayed and realized that we just probably need a little help to create our miracle.

IVF Round 1 we thought was a for sure thing. We were told there is about 50-60% chance of pregnancy with IVF ( I know...why is not 100%?)  How do you spend $15,000 and not come home with a baby?

After a month of birth control to regulate her cycle, Megan spent 3 weeks giving herself injections to stimulate her ovaries to produce as many eggs as her body would let her.  Brian became the progesterone shot administrator (huge needle in the buttox). We had appointments every other day. The waiting room became more comfortable. We were the "experienced couple" in the waiting room now and had a little fun picking out all the newbies just starting out or watching someone's husband awkwardly turn in his sperm sample (Dude-we know what's in the brown bag you are trying to hide in your jacket!).  We really got to know all the staff at the infertility clinic...it was starting to be like a second home which...well is kinda depressing :)

Megan's egg retrieval went great. the Dr. retrieved 17 eggs, 14 of those eggs were mature and 9 of those eggs fertilized. 3 of those eggs made it to day 5 to freeze. We did not send our embryos out for testing because we are young and there should be no problem...mistake #1.

We transferred 1 egg in May (Mother's day actually- we thought that was a sign) that egg did not implant. We still remember that phone call. We were shocked, so confused and so very sad.

 In July we transferred our second egg and...PREGNANT, just in time for Megan's birthday. She still says is the best birthday ever because she FINALLY got pregnant, even though that sadly ended in a miscarriage after 8 wonderful weeks of being "parents". We went through another emotional roller coaster of feeling  shocked and so let down.

We transferred our 3rd and final embryo in October. The 3rd time was not the charm for us. No implantation took place.

So just like that, we were out of embryos, and we lost a little bit of hope and faith. Parenthood seemed so far away.  Going through infertility is a huge rollercoaster ride. You grieve the loss of what could have been, yet you have so much hope, then that hope just gets taken away from you and ends up returning a little later.
The thing is though...you can’t just give up. How do you let go of the thought of not having a baby when that is the one thing you want more than anything in the world?

The pain is very much real going through infertility treatments. After all these losses, waking up in the morning was hard, seeing people was even harder. You feel silly being so sad and angry because we are so very fortunate in our lives and every day we truly feel grateful. The thing is, infertility is a loss. It's a loss of a dream, its a loss of a family you once dreamed you would have.

We try to think about just stopping treatments and imagining our lives without kids. When thinking about that, our hearts truly hurt and that just made us realize that it's not time to give up. We were meant to have children, we truly believe that and we do believe it will happen.

We had, what we call a, WTF appointment. Our Dr. thought that our fertilization rate was a little low and we are assuming it just was a bad batch of eggs. Our Dr. recommends going through IVF again but this time doing some additional procedures to ensure a greater chance which would bring us up to 70% chance of getting pregnant. The additional procedures being ICSI, where they actually fertilize the eggs by hand to hopefully give us more fertilized eggs. The more embryos...the more of chance you have on getting a healthy normal one. Another step would be sending embryos out to testing so that we know the embryos we are implanting have a good shot at becoming a baby.

We also had a consultation at a new place. We wanted to make sure we looked at all of our options. So after studying our comparison spreadsheet and the pro/cons list, we decided to go for it again with Kaiser. Turns out, people usually do up to three rounds of IVF before they are blessed with a pregnancy.

Okay…so the PLAN: We will be starting a new round of IVF late February/early March. Megan is currently following a strict diet and taking some special supplements and vitamins to help improve the quality of her eggs, and she has gotten rid of all BPA products in the house (This chemical can affect fertility). We also are starting to look into adoption through foster care. It’s a very long process so we figured it does not hurt to start researching and who knows…maybe we will end up with two blessings!

The largest concern for us is how we are going to fund this again. The total cost for this IVF is $24,000. We do have half of the money needed saved up and planned on taking out a loan or a line of credit on our house with the rest of the amount needed ($12,000).However, we now know that IVF is not a guarantee, we understand that this round may not work and that we may need to come up with money once again to use donor eggs or start a private adoption process. Therefore we are trying to take out as little as possible on a loan, so that if needed, a loan can be our last resort for our final attempt to be parents (but this time its going to work..wink wink)


This is what brings us to this Go Fund Me account. After attending many support groups we learned that people reach out to their friends and family for not only emotional support but financial support.  Although awkward and not our style at all to ask for "hand outs", we came to the realization that we can't really do this without some help.

We understand that you may not be able to help and that is okay. We want you to at least know our journey, every extra good thought and prayer is needed.

Thank you. Thank you for reading this all the way to this last paragraph (we know it was long). Thank you for not judging us for putting this out there. Thank you for your donation to the Baby Boss fund...we appreciate it more then you could ever imagine.

Thank you for keeping our hope alive...

You can follow our journey on instram...@the_boss_family