Make Kristen's Tiny Dream Come True

The story here really isn’t about securing me a tiny house (aka: vintage trailer). This is a story happening across the United States of America on the daily and of which, unless it’s happening to you, most people are unaware. In the span of 3 months, thanks to multiple medical emergencies my elderly parents suffered, I’ve gone from being gainfully employed to unemployed, ignorant to the failings of our family leave system to fully aware of its failings and learning the ins/outs of a healthcare system that could easily be accused of helping no one heal. And having to learn, on the fly, how to advocate and navigate a healthcare system that (at this point) I am unsure is meant to heal.

 

The monies raised here will help take financial burden off my parents and help me not go bankrupt while I transition my life’s work to family caregiver and medical advocate. It will help me settle into a very unexpected new life.

 

In mid-March my father suffered a second stroke and was subsequently diagnosed with Parkinson’s. My mother, who suffers from as-of-yet undiagnosed cognitive decline would be unable to take care of him on her own. After nine days in the inpatient rehab unit the hospital was wanting to discharge my Dad, misunderstanding (at the time) that I would not be there to care for him. They claimed that he had plateaued in his therapies and they didn’t think he’d make much progress. I’m no medical expert but a 79-year-old man having suffered a second stroke and subsequently diagnosed with Parkinson’s being declared, what felt like, pretty much not worth rehabbing anymore? Insulting. Long story short, I escalated up the issue to the legal department after a family meeting was held without us and no clear discharge plan was communicated to us other than he’d plateaued and that was it.

 

Fast forward to today, May 25th and I will be bringing my Dad home. He is fully able to function on his own with minimal supports as he has made great strides in healing after he was transferred to a skilled nursing facility where he was able to continue therapies.

 

In the background of all of this, I experienced what felt like harassment from my job due to a misunderstanding of Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) of which I was approved paid leave for one month. Under FMLA a person is to not work at all yet, as a teacher, I was being asked multiple times over the month by my office manager to please provide sub plans. It is customary to provide sub plans when one is absent but little did I know under FMLA I was not required to and my office manager should have never been asking. Trying to handle all the moving parts of my Dad’s care, a lack of living wills, soothing my Mom’s intense anxiety, finding an eldercare lawyer, working on filing my family’s taxes on time and a multitude of daily living tasks were immensely stressful.

 

Fast forward to early April and I was readying to go back to work and instead my Mom had a heart attack, subsequently suffered a stroke and was placed in the same skilled nursing facility as my Dad. Just last week, after having fallen multiple times, she was left alone behind a closed door when a family friend knocked on the door and she, given her determination and cognitive decline, naturally got up to try to answer it. Instead, she broke a hip.

 

I have fully transitioned my life to being a full time advocate and caregiver to them. Without my advocating my Mom would have been fully sedated for her surgery which has proven two times previous to nearly kill her. Until I brought this fact up, not one of the healthcare professionals seemed to be aware of this very real and very scary history. Yet, it is all there in her chart, waiting to be reviewed and read. Same with her memory issues…I cannot say how many times I have had to repeat the same story that there are memory issues but no official diagnosis and have for months now been advocating for a diagnosis and charting of her cognitive issues.

 

In the meantime, I have been denied unemployment the reason given that in fact I was not available to work during my customary hours because I was caring for others. My savings are depleted. Every education job I have applied for I have been turned down for running up against likely now being too highly qualified. So although I’d REALLY love a space of my own in the form of a tiny vintage trailer, what would REALLY help is being able to pay my very real bills.

 

Please help me settle into a new life and to continue to advocate for my parent’s health. My story, as I’ve learned, is not unique. Thousands of others are having to face the same roadblocks I have and learn about systems that are broken.