Madeline's Graduation For Mommy
Donation protected
This year has been the hardest year of my life, and if you don't know me personally then this is my opportunity to explain to you why, and why I've created this in the first place.
In February of 2017 - two months ago - I lost my mother. My mom was the strongest, most courageous, intelligent, witty, kind-hearted, and giving human being I've ever encountered in my life. She managed to make everything that she dreamed of, happen - for herself and for her family. She gave endlessly to everyone that she met, and she did it with a love that is indescribable from any other in this world. My mother was not only my backbone but the backbone of my three younger brothers, and two older sisters. Throughout all of our lives we watched our mother give her heart and soul to us up until the very last breathe she took while living on this earth. I never thought I'd have to figure my life out without her standing beside me, but the day has come and I've never experiened something harder in the twenty-two years of my life. My mother always believed in me. She always told me that I was the smartest of her children (sorry, brothers and sisters) and that she knew I had the potential to do absolutely anything I put my mind to. She embedded it into my brain and memory that anything I put my mind to I'd be able to accomplish, and that the sky was nowhere close to the limit because it didn't stop - not even there.
When I took a semester off from school, my mom was upset with me. She disliked the fact that I was deterring from what was most important to her and what she knew was what I'd been the best at. My decision to take a second semester off fell upon my arriving home and seeing the conditions of everything... My help was needed, and school didn't seem so important to get back to. I left right after completing my junior year of my bachelor's. I have one year left to graduate, my senior year.
Now that my mother has gone my siblings and I are left to figure things out on our own. The things she used to take care of for us, no longer get done. Our lives are in shambles compared to what we once had, and it is hard to wake up every day motivated without being held down by the weight of all that's happened in these last weeks. We are losing our home. We've lost our mother. We are in a place none of us ever could have imagined.
The day after my mother passed away I knew I had to make her proud of me one way or another. With tears in my eyes and a voice that could not even formulate one solid sentence, I called my university to inform them that I wanted to finish my last year. I cried to my admissions counselor and told her no matter what it took I was going to graduate and make my mother's dreams and wishes for me come true because I knew I could make it happen. I knew that if I put my mind to it, nothing would stop me - and that's what I'm doing now.
The process has been a long one and I am far from being where I need to be, but I wake up every single day reminding myself that she would want me to be happy and she would want me to be accomplishing all of the things I used to sit on her bed as a little girl and tell her I wanted to do "when I grew up". I know that to get to where I want to be, this is the first step; and I'm ready.
I will begin school in the fall as a senior at Saint Peter's University. As I've been meeting with the school's financial aid office and admissions counselors I've been informed and reminded that I still will have loans, and I will be behind in my courses due to my being out for one year. It's hard for me knowing that the year I took off was to spend with my mother, but it is still holding me back from my graduation date.
I want to register for classes this summer, and in the winter, so that I am in school all year round - so that I can make my graduation date not just a dream but an achievable goal. In communicating with my instutition I've found out that taking those courses are outside of the school's jurisdiction due to being out of term (out of the fall or spring semesters) - all of this meaning that I would have to pay for them out of my pocket.
And so I am creating this, so that with the grace and blessing of my mother I can somehow find a means of being able to afford these extra classes so that I can indeed graduate and make my dreams - and my mother's dreams for me - come true. The cost is something that even if I worked full time from now until then, wouldn't be able to afford. I want to be able to say that I did it. I want to be able to be proud of myself and I want my mother - my guardian angel - and God, both looking down on me, to be proud. Summer school isn't far from now, and I know that this is something I'm going to need my angel's blessings on and help beyond what I can do for myself at this point. Being forced to adapt to these changes hasn't been easy and I only hope that with the courage to share my story and my determination in not giving up, I can make it happen.
If this is a goal that I can manage to make happen it would change my life in ways that I cannot begin to describe, in ways that I'd never be able to express enough appreciation for. I tear as I write this because I miss her, so much. But I know that she's with me and I know that she's watching over me, and I know that I have her blessings on making all of these things come true. I am here to make her, along with myself, and all of you proud - and I can't wait for the day when it all happens so that she can smile down on me from up above.
______
The way this campaign has kicked off has made me feel like anything is possible, indeed. I know that each donation puts a smile on my mother's face above knowing that I am being helped in my journey, the way I know she would have helped me if she was here. My mom is my everything and I want to finish the mission I've started - I've come close with the donations I've started with, now I just have a bit more to go. I'm ready to make all of my dreams come true and I will work on this campaign until I reach my goal - with determination. I love you mommy!
In February of 2017 - two months ago - I lost my mother. My mom was the strongest, most courageous, intelligent, witty, kind-hearted, and giving human being I've ever encountered in my life. She managed to make everything that she dreamed of, happen - for herself and for her family. She gave endlessly to everyone that she met, and she did it with a love that is indescribable from any other in this world. My mother was not only my backbone but the backbone of my three younger brothers, and two older sisters. Throughout all of our lives we watched our mother give her heart and soul to us up until the very last breathe she took while living on this earth. I never thought I'd have to figure my life out without her standing beside me, but the day has come and I've never experiened something harder in the twenty-two years of my life. My mother always believed in me. She always told me that I was the smartest of her children (sorry, brothers and sisters) and that she knew I had the potential to do absolutely anything I put my mind to. She embedded it into my brain and memory that anything I put my mind to I'd be able to accomplish, and that the sky was nowhere close to the limit because it didn't stop - not even there.
When I took a semester off from school, my mom was upset with me. She disliked the fact that I was deterring from what was most important to her and what she knew was what I'd been the best at. My decision to take a second semester off fell upon my arriving home and seeing the conditions of everything... My help was needed, and school didn't seem so important to get back to. I left right after completing my junior year of my bachelor's. I have one year left to graduate, my senior year.
Now that my mother has gone my siblings and I are left to figure things out on our own. The things she used to take care of for us, no longer get done. Our lives are in shambles compared to what we once had, and it is hard to wake up every day motivated without being held down by the weight of all that's happened in these last weeks. We are losing our home. We've lost our mother. We are in a place none of us ever could have imagined.
The day after my mother passed away I knew I had to make her proud of me one way or another. With tears in my eyes and a voice that could not even formulate one solid sentence, I called my university to inform them that I wanted to finish my last year. I cried to my admissions counselor and told her no matter what it took I was going to graduate and make my mother's dreams and wishes for me come true because I knew I could make it happen. I knew that if I put my mind to it, nothing would stop me - and that's what I'm doing now.
The process has been a long one and I am far from being where I need to be, but I wake up every single day reminding myself that she would want me to be happy and she would want me to be accomplishing all of the things I used to sit on her bed as a little girl and tell her I wanted to do "when I grew up". I know that to get to where I want to be, this is the first step; and I'm ready.
I will begin school in the fall as a senior at Saint Peter's University. As I've been meeting with the school's financial aid office and admissions counselors I've been informed and reminded that I still will have loans, and I will be behind in my courses due to my being out for one year. It's hard for me knowing that the year I took off was to spend with my mother, but it is still holding me back from my graduation date.
I want to register for classes this summer, and in the winter, so that I am in school all year round - so that I can make my graduation date not just a dream but an achievable goal. In communicating with my instutition I've found out that taking those courses are outside of the school's jurisdiction due to being out of term (out of the fall or spring semesters) - all of this meaning that I would have to pay for them out of my pocket.
And so I am creating this, so that with the grace and blessing of my mother I can somehow find a means of being able to afford these extra classes so that I can indeed graduate and make my dreams - and my mother's dreams for me - come true. The cost is something that even if I worked full time from now until then, wouldn't be able to afford. I want to be able to say that I did it. I want to be able to be proud of myself and I want my mother - my guardian angel - and God, both looking down on me, to be proud. Summer school isn't far from now, and I know that this is something I'm going to need my angel's blessings on and help beyond what I can do for myself at this point. Being forced to adapt to these changes hasn't been easy and I only hope that with the courage to share my story and my determination in not giving up, I can make it happen.
If this is a goal that I can manage to make happen it would change my life in ways that I cannot begin to describe, in ways that I'd never be able to express enough appreciation for. I tear as I write this because I miss her, so much. But I know that she's with me and I know that she's watching over me, and I know that I have her blessings on making all of these things come true. I am here to make her, along with myself, and all of you proud - and I can't wait for the day when it all happens so that she can smile down on me from up above.
______
The way this campaign has kicked off has made me feel like anything is possible, indeed. I know that each donation puts a smile on my mother's face above knowing that I am being helped in my journey, the way I know she would have helped me if she was here. My mom is my everything and I want to finish the mission I've started - I've come close with the donations I've started with, now I just have a bit more to go. I'm ready to make all of my dreams come true and I will work on this campaign until I reach my goal - with determination. I love you mommy!
Organizer
Madeline Dyson
Organizer
Teaneck, NJ