Maddelyn's Gender Affirming Surgery
Donation protected
Hi Friends,
So as many of you may know I've sort of fallen off the face of the earth. This is largely due to feeling extreme hopelessness about my transition (or my self actualizing, transition is a shitty term imo).
This is because a few months ago I went in for a surgery consultation for a gender affirming surgery that I feel will drastically improve my quality of life. Unfortunately, after I found out the cost, I fell into despair because it was so extremely far out of my ability to pay (even if i crowd fund it). I came to a point where I decided I didn't need this surgery and tried to write it out of my mind. This didn't work.
Since then, when I think about my path to self actualization
I fall into extremely dark places. I have always had struggles with anxiety and chronic depression, but when I think about my body or my face or the way I move through the world, I am filled with intense hopelessness. I feel extremely vulnerable sharing this, but for the past few months I have almost every day considered dying as an alternative to this surgery and my path to self actualizing. (I credit the support of my dedicated partner and my close friends for my being alive right now). And today at work as I struggled to keep it together, I realized that I don't want this surgery. I NEED THIS SURGERY.
I put off crowd funding for a long time because I thought this was a hopelessly large amount to amass, because I felt like I don't deserve it, I am scared of being vulnerable in this way, because it'd be easier to just lay in bed until I die.
But today I decided I AM GOING TO GET THIS SURGERY COME HELL OR HIGH WATER. I know it may take a long time to raise the funds and I know I may have to do some incredibly uncomfortable things to get there. But I'm gonna do it and I really appreciate your help.
If you can I ask you to please donate. If not I understand but I then ask you to please share this. I honestly have nothing I can give you other than my appreciation. I and deeply grateful to anyone who donates. Whether your a family member, a friend, a coworker, a previous client or a total rando your donation means the world to me.
Also this is like all I want for all my birthdays from now until the end of time so like keep that in mind ;)
Sincerely and lovingly yours,
Maddelyn Kartoffel
So as many of you may know I've sort of fallen off the face of the earth. This is largely due to feeling extreme hopelessness about my transition (or my self actualizing, transition is a shitty term imo).
This is because a few months ago I went in for a surgery consultation for a gender affirming surgery that I feel will drastically improve my quality of life. Unfortunately, after I found out the cost, I fell into despair because it was so extremely far out of my ability to pay (even if i crowd fund it). I came to a point where I decided I didn't need this surgery and tried to write it out of my mind. This didn't work.
Since then, when I think about my path to self actualization
I fall into extremely dark places. I have always had struggles with anxiety and chronic depression, but when I think about my body or my face or the way I move through the world, I am filled with intense hopelessness. I feel extremely vulnerable sharing this, but for the past few months I have almost every day considered dying as an alternative to this surgery and my path to self actualizing. (I credit the support of my dedicated partner and my close friends for my being alive right now). And today at work as I struggled to keep it together, I realized that I don't want this surgery. I NEED THIS SURGERY.
I put off crowd funding for a long time because I thought this was a hopelessly large amount to amass, because I felt like I don't deserve it, I am scared of being vulnerable in this way, because it'd be easier to just lay in bed until I die.
But today I decided I AM GOING TO GET THIS SURGERY COME HELL OR HIGH WATER. I know it may take a long time to raise the funds and I know I may have to do some incredibly uncomfortable things to get there. But I'm gonna do it and I really appreciate your help.
If you can I ask you to please donate. If not I understand but I then ask you to please share this. I honestly have nothing I can give you other than my appreciation. I and deeply grateful to anyone who donates. Whether your a family member, a friend, a coworker, a previous client or a total rando your donation means the world to me.
Also this is like all I want for all my birthdays from now until the end of time so like keep that in mind ;)
Sincerely and lovingly yours,
Maddelyn Kartoffel
Organizer
Sunshine Kartoffel
Organizer
Minneapolis, MN