Thank you for taking the time to read my story. My name is Mackenzie Harris and I am 25 years old. I have struggled with my mental health as long as I have had memories for, including severe and recurring treatment resistant depression, chronic suicidality, generalized anxiety disorder and PTSD.

Treatment resistant depression means that my body doesn't respond to medications, and therapy only plays a minor factor in helping me cope. However, thanks to many trusted doctors and friends, I've come across ketamine infusions which have shown to alleviate symptoms of depression, anxiety, and complex PTSD by 80%!! (all diagnoses that I currently carry around with me).

I am therefore fundraising to receive ketamine infusion therapy for my treatment of resistant depression (TRD) as a life saving measure for myself. I have not had a lot of success thus far with treatment. I have attempted to treat my disorders with over a dozen different medications, natural remedies and supplements, and multiple stints in therapy including cognitive-behavioral therapy, mindfulness-based cognitive therapy and EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing), ECT (Electroconvulsive therapy), TMS (Transcranial magnetic stimulation), Neuro and Bio feedback, and as of most recently, Esketamine (which is the off brand of ketamine). Finding the right medication to treat a mental disorder is a complex, tiresome process as these medications take months before reaching full efficacy. I have been hospitalized five times and have completed five outpatient partial hospitalization programs.

There is no easy way to talk about suicidal ideation, but I can assure you that it is very real and very terrifying when you know that voice in your head isn't yours and doesn't want what's best for you. I'm tired, I'm scared, and I'm desperate for a change.

Why ketamine? Research shows that ketamine treatment is effective in repairing neural pathways in the brain damaged by depression. Ketamine works completely differently than common antidepressants like SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) and SNRIs (serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitors). These compounds work by blocking the absorption of the neurotransmitters serotonin and norepinephrine, adjusting the levels of those chemicals to help regulate mood. Instead of focusing on chemical imbalance, ketamine may change the structure of the brain. Many are calling ketamine the biggest advance in depression treatment in years and even

the future of psychiatry.

During my ketamine consultation, my doctor described the treatment as giving me the tools to be able to function and manage my mental illnesses more effectively. He also described it as a possible breakthrough and a life saving treatment measure for me. Insurance does not cover Ketamine Infusion Therapy because it is an "off-label" treatment, and it is not approved by the FDA. Although, It has been approved in the U.S. for 10 years now. 

Initial treatment consists of 6-8 infusions over 2-3 weeks with each session costing $500. Then, after the initial treatments, I am expected to go in for a single maintenance infusion with each session costing $550. These infusions work like many medications where you must let it build in your system.

I’m asking to be financed for the infusions and a few follow-up ones until I can either finance it myself. This is the closest and most life saving measure for myself which is right at my fingertips but I need some help getting there.

I receive minimal disability from the state, and neither I nor my family are able to afford this treatment on our own. I've thoroughly researched and talked with others who have had ketamine therapy and have been inspired by others who have benefited from the treatment, and am hopeful it will enable me to lead a more stable, safe and fulfilled life. I want to know what it is like to really live and have high hopes that this could be the solution to get my life back on track. If you are not able to donate, please share. I truly appreciate all of your support!