Mumma love.

Hello beautiful family, flying hearts, and friends around the planet. I’ve been trying to write this, to share what’s happening and ask for support with loving energy, donations, and sharing of this fundraiser for a while now, just haven’t known where or how to start. Reading up on a “successful fundraiser” it says to give history and specific needs, while being authentic. So here goes….

My amazing beautiful bright Mumma, Carollyne or Carol to some has begun her end of life journey. It started back in August and have basically been riding the wave of tests, scans and the limbo of “not knowing” until very recently. Since mum hasn’t had a GP for couple years, it’s been challenging to say the least. We just met with the palliative doctor whom we love and can finally breathe a bit, feeling like we have more support and assistance moving forward. No one wants to give a timeline because you never really know. Also we prefer not to give the illness lots of power so mum has named it “The dragon in my liver!” ❤️ Unfortunately the dragon is growing and hatching babies (so to speak) and flying around, which is taking its toll on mum, despite the valiant warrior she is!

Many of you have noticed my absence on social media or just in communication in general and want to thank you for reaching out to check in.

The uplifting positives of this situation is that I am in a position to be here for mum the way she was for me, for so many years. She was my rock through so many dark nights and even though I told her to give up on me so many times, she never did. I am so very grateful because I wouldn’t be where I am, or who I am without her.

I hope you’ll bear with and punctuation and run on sentences as I’m not sure I’ll have the strength to edit or second guess what I’ve written. I am speaking from my heart, knowing that anyone reading this will feel the love and send it back a thousand fold

We’ve both been very hesitant and “shy” about even asking for financial support, for many reasons, mostly those feelings of “unworthiness” we all feel at times. I’ve had to tell mum (and myself) how good it feels when WE have given support, financial or otherwise to people or causes we care about. And so it would be denying our loved ones the opportunity to give support and feel that feeling of giving. I’ve also spoken with some of you who want to help, but don’t know how, and this can be a way to help. I want to be clear that any monetary contribution does not put a price on the love we all share and feel for each other and my dream or goal is that this fundraiser is spread so far and wide that even a small amount from everyone would create an abundant ripple effect that washed over us with the love and joy it was given with.

On the technical or specific side, these funds will be reimbursing the cc debt we’ve come into since this started, and I haven’t been able to work as much. Pay for medications that aren’t covered, yummy foods and drinks, gas, transitional arrangements and making sure that our “estate” is in good order so that I’m not overwhelmed, or swimming in debt as I become a homeowner I’ve told mum many times I’ll be ok, yet I know she still worries as a parent does that I WILL be ok. The show of support (in any form) will help relieve that anxiety as well.

On a personal note this is incredibly hard for me, since it was my addiction that took mum and our family from upper middle class to being “house poor”. However we’ve talked and shared extensively these last months and know that having each other is what matters, not money. We are so very grateful for these past years of spending quality time and clean living together, and both agree it’s made up for any lost years! Sharing and embracing every moment daily is filling our hearts and souls! We are “surfing the cusp of the future” and flowing with all the ups and downs. We also know how lucky we are compared to so many around the world. And do not take that for granted.

Finally, as of now (March 3) the consensus is that the last 6 weeks have shown this could be moving very quickly and most likely, weeks or months remain. We are in such good spirits, not much pain so far, mostly exhaustion and “grossness” finally have a meeting with oncologist in 2 weeks, however mum has long decided to let “The Dragon” take its course and not put herself through chemo etc… that would barely prolong the inevitable.

Talking is hard for mum, and even for me (for different reasons) however if anyone wants to write, our address is

Carollyne Leighland/Joey Cramer

307-1633, Dufferin Crescent, Nanaimo BC V9S 5T4

If you prefer to send messages through socials, please know they will ALL be read and appreciated so much, tho maybe not replied to right away, if at all. Hope you understand they can pile up and many times hard to know what to say in return except thank you or a heart emoji. NOT diminishing the love it is sent with. ❤️. and of course call me or mum to leave messages or connect if that is what you need.

Honestly I’m so scared to even push send and post this, because in ways it makes it so much more real. The amount we calculated also seems high, although any fraction of the goal will help and we both reiterate that it’s the loving energy and support that is most valuable.

Words won’t do justice the gratitude and love we have for the ripple effects for loving energy we will feel with every person who reads and shares this.

Thank you.