Hi, my name is Lucy and I'm fundraising for life-changing surgery to help me live a pain-free life, and improve my long-term health outcomes and quality of life.

I'm 36 and I work full-time as a Personal Assistant. I've built my career on helping other people and this is the first time I've ever asked for help from strangers.

I need weight-loss surgery. Not because I'm unhappy with the way that I look or because I feel that I need to subscribe to society's perception of 'beauty standards' - but simply because I am being denied access to not one, but two surgeries that I need now, purely because of my BMI.

The two surgeries I need will reduce my pain and improve my quality of life, but surgeons won't operate on me until I have lost weight. Not just a modest few pounds which can be achieved with an 'eat less and exercise more' approach, but a significant amount of weight that can only be achieved - and most importantly - sustained via Bariatric Surgery, specifically a gastric bypass.

I have a congenital hip defect - hip impingement - which has led to a full-thickness labral tear. I need hip surgery to fix this and the longer it goes without treatment, the more I risk the joint becoming arthritic due to bone-on-bone wear and tear at the point where the cartilage is torn. The longer I wait the more likely I am to need a full hip replacement before I'm 40. My hip gives me jip - daily. It locks into place, I can't weight-bear, it's incredibly painful and it is a real pain in my ass. Quite literally. The surgery to fix it is straightforward enough, but I can't access it until I'm thin(er). For now, the issue is being 'masked' with steroid injections into the joint. I am having my 4th steroid injection on 4th Aug 2023.

I have endometriosis - a debilitatingly painful condition affecting 1-in-10 women that causes chronic pain. Both my ovaries are stuck to the back of my uterus and pelvic sidewall, I have growths on my utero-sacral ligament and the longer I delay treatment, the more I risk the endo spreading to my bowel and bladder. Many women end up requiring total hysterectomies and having parts of their bladder and/or bowel removed due to the delay in treatment for endometriosis. I have point-blank been told I cannot have a laparoscopy to treat my endo until I've lost weight. I'm currently in a chemically induced menopause which in the last 3 months has made my weight balloon faster than ever.

I have other rheumatological issues which affect my joints, spine and day-to-day pain levels. I have high blood pressure and I have crippling health-related anxieties and if that wasn't enough, I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) - which makes it really easy to gain and incredibly difficult to lose weight.

"Why do you need my help to access this treatment? Can't you get it on the NHS?"

Yes, I can get it on the NHS. And yes, I qualify for it on the NHS where treatment is free at the point of access. Access is the problem. I have been in the NHS pathway for bariatric surgery well over 4 years already and I have no idea how long I will need to wait. Realistically, I am looking at 2+ years from now to access my surgery - a total of 6 long years to access surgery. I asked for help losing weight years ago in my 20's, and at the time was told I didn't qualify, I wasn't fat enough and I didn't have underlying health conditions. Decades of weight cycling, Slimming World plans and disordered eating (starving yourself on unsustainable diets and then regaining the weight + more) has brought me to where I am today - on a waitlist for surgery.

I have moved up through the Weight Management Programme tiers from Tier 1 to 4. It took about a year and a half to get to Tier 3. The Tier 3 programme is intensive and took about 2 years to complete and I have jumped through every hoop they have put infront of me including a 16-week NHS-prescribed "milk and jelly diet". It is as awful as it sounds - 16 weeks living off just milk and jelly (and the occasional Bovril drink for a 'salty hit'). Here's a timeline...

May 2022 - I was referred from Tier 3 to Tier 4, transferred out of Addenbrookes and into Luton & Dunstable Hospital, which is a specialist centre for obesity.

*7 Months of Silence*

December 2022 - my first contact with a clinician at Luton & Dunstable, a 10-minute phone call with a nurse to confirm my name and address and brief medical history.

*8 months of silence*

August 2023 - anxious call to Luton & Dunstable to check I've not been deleted from the waitlist and enquire how long it might be for my multidisciplinary team appointment. [MDT is a pre-surgery pre-requisite appointment, where you meet with the surgeon, anaesthetist, psychologist, dietician and nutritionist on the same day and the final step before the rubber stamp to say you're OK to proceed to surgery].

Cue 2 hours of ugly crying/sobbing at my kitchen table when I was told the following...

Sometime between December 2023 and June 2024 - the window my MDT appointment will fall. 12-18 months from my first contact with the nurse.

An unknown point in the future - is when I may finally access the surgery, and then that is dependent on the doctors and nurses not striking and bed availability at the hospital (I promised myself I would not make this political).

This is why I need help. The NHS is failing patients. I simply cannot wait the indefinite amount of time that it is going to take to access this service on the NHS. I am in pain every day and have been for years. Living with pain is physically and mentally draining and seriously affects your quality of life.

"Doesn't your work provide you with Private Medical Insurance? Won't they pay?"

Yes, work does provide Private Medical and I feel so, so, so privileged to be able to access this via my employer. It is a lifeline during these difficult times with the NHS. However, AXA UK's policy does not cover and support weight loss surgery of any kind "regardless of the reason(s) for needing it" - so even with a genuine medical (not cosmetic) need, they will not support it.

I can't get my head around this one either, because you would think a health insurer would want people to be as healthy as possible to improve their long-term health outcomes and reduce the need for future healthcare interventions.

I cannot access the surgery privately, and I have no idea how long I will be left waiting for the NHS which is why I am seeking your help.

"Just eat less and exercise more"

I have been doing that since I was 15. I could write a book on my life with disordered eating. Anyone who thinks being fat is a symptom of laziness, lack of self-discipline, lack of self-control is welcome to come and have a chat. I'll direct you to some resources by experts in the field of Obesity research who classify obesity as a disease; people affected by it have biological predispositions as well as environmental influences. The 'fat gene' runs in my family. I have PCOS which makes gaining weight all too easy and shifting it very tricky.

A Family History of Fat-ness

My mother, a retired NHS Ward Manager underwent bariatric surgery 14 years ago. It took her 18 months from GP referral to surgery and at the time it was a battle for her because she had no underlying health conditions. No high blood pressure, no high cholesterol, no diabetes, no sleep apnea, no dodgy joints - she was just very fat and it was a struggle for her on her feet for 12+ hours a day, caring for patients. She lost 15 stone (210lbs) and has kept it off all that time.

My sister underwent bariatric surgery privately last year as she is fortunate to have the means to do so. The only reason she pursued it was that she was told her Idiopathic Intercranial Hypertension was caused by her being fat. Her debilitating symptoms (headaches so intense that she was required to have lumbar punctures to remove spinal fluid to relieve the pressure in her head). She's lost 9 stone (140lbs) in 12 months so far - and guess what, she still suffers from IIH.

All of my family on my mother's side were 'big'. I know if I was to take a gene test for the fat genes that I would have some (or all) of them. Some people just aren't built to be slim. Some people despite the best will in the world just carry weight and struggle to get it off. Some people, like me, just need extra help.

"Why should I pay for you to be thin?"

This isn't about the pursuit of thinness. This isn't about ascribing to society's view of what beauty should be. As hard as it might be to believe, I'm actually at peace with the shape of my body that I occupy. My appearance is the least interesting thing about me. I value my mind and my kindness, my humour and my creativity about the circumference of my waist.

The sole reason I am pursuing this surgery is so that I can access the surgeries I need for my hip and endometriosis and so that every time I walk into a doctor's room, I don't get told "you need to loose weight" before they take me seriously. Fatness is blamed for everything, and unless you've occupied a larger body, you will never know what it's like to be judged.

"But weight loss surgery is the easy option, isn't it? "

No. You couldn't be more wrong. You do not enter into weight loss surgery lightly. You don't suddenly wake up one day and go "I'm going to have my stomach cut to the size of a golf ball and all my guts sliced out and re-plumbed so that I can be skinny, fit into *those jeans* and have everyone love me".

Weight loss surgery is HARD. It's completely life-altering and not without risk. You have to take vitamins every day for the rest of your life, have B12 injections, iron tablets, risk your hair falling out due to lack of absorption of nutrients. It is not easy my friend.

What risks are involved?

Death. People die in the pursuit of thinness. It was revealed recently that Lisa Marie Presley died due to complications following bariatric surgery. Both my mum and my sister have had brushes with death following weight loss surgery - 'adhesions' formed from their surgery which "stuck" and knotted their insides resulting in bowel blockages that required emergency life-saving surgery. I enter this knowing that I too, risk this happening to me. But the long-term benefits and the chance of being pain-free (or having my pain significantly reduced) for me, are worth the risk.

"Can't you get a loan or something?"

The cost of living crisis is affecting many of us and I am not immune. I simply cannot afford to take out a loan in the current financial climate. My mortgage is due for renewal next year and with the interest rate rises, we don't know how much this is going to go up by. Taking out a loan now would, as tempting as it is, be financially irresponsible and wreckless and I know would land me in financial difficulty. I don't have £11k sat around in savings to be able to fund this privately. My only option is to look to the good nature and kindness of strangers who may be able to spare a few pounds to help me improve my immediate and long-term health outcomes.

"What will my money buy?"

Health & Happiness. The £11,150 is the total cost for Gastric Bypass surgery privately through a vendor called Tonic Weight Loss Clinic Ltd. They are 5* provider of private weight loss treatment in the UK that offer a 5-year aftercare package as standard. You can have a consultation within 1 week and a date for surgery in as little as 4 weeks. Their surgeons all have many years of clinical NHS experience and are leaders in their field of expertise. I would either go to Luton, Watford or Birmingham for the surgery. Yes, cheaper surgeries are available abroad but I have no desire to travel outside of the UK to undergo such major surgery as I am too high risk for complications. The private clinic at Luton is set within the NHS hospital, so should anything go wrong, you are in the best place for it.

Thank you

There is nothing more precious than your health, you cannot take it for granted. I will be forever grateful to every person who is able to support my fundraising.

Much love to you,

Lucy x